Date: September 03, 2010 11:49 am Title: Hold her, tell her everything’s gonna be fine
Oh man, sooo much I love about this chapter! (kudos on the quick update, and hope you feel better!) I love their playful shyness, it's so completely in character and wonderful. I loved this part:
“You like me.” Her feet are dangling above the ground and his voice sounds like he’s just taken the first bite of an ice cream sundae on a July afternoon. “Just admit it, Pam. You totally like me.”
She buries her head against his collar, breathes in the scent of his soap and aftershave, and admits no such thing.
It's adorable, sharing little stories, him catching her with the dancing/swaying debate. You've managed to make me feel like I'm really there with them. I really hope you have much more of this because it's so great. I can't tell you enough how fun this is to read.
And this, its' probably the cutest sweetest thing I've ever read in fanfic history. Seriously. Like tear in my eye.
“Can I hold your hand?” he asks then, and she knows he gets it, that he’s scared too, and she’s grateful, so very grateful, as she reaches across the table to put her hand in his, and she thinks that maybe sometimes things do turn out the way you wish they would.
I love love love this. So. Much.
Date: September 03, 2010 11:42 am Title: Hold her, tell her everything’s gonna be fine
Um ... I believe you mentioned a while back that you'd finish the story by September 7 because your boyfriend is coming for a visit and you didn't want to leave us hanging. I just wanted to say I, for one, am PERFECTLY willing to suffer through a hiatus to get more chapters than you can finish by 9-7! I can just keep re-reading and re-reading while I wait...
10 [Report This]Date: September 03, 2010 09:56 am Title: Hold her, tell her everything’s gonna be fine
I think I'm stuck with multiple reviews from here on out. To me, this is now undoubtedly the DEFINITIVE first date fic! This is exactly what I want to think happened on that amazing night in May 2007.
Date: September 03, 2010 08:20 am Title: Hold her, tell her everything’s gonna be fine
Dancing? Lots of flirtatious teasing? Jim asking if he can hold her hand? Are you trying to kill me with sweetness and just...guh...so much amazingness? Huh?!
In all seriousness, you're so talented at presenting these beautiful and intimate images. And on top of that, pitch perfect dialogue. Favorite line?
“Yeah,” he says, “you’re right. Hey, you don’t mind finding your own way home, right? I’ll give you cab fare.”
Oh and I have a slight inkling, just a little guess based purely on instinct but I'm pretty sure Jim's right. Pam totally likes him. ;)
Date: September 03, 2010 06:46 am Title: Hold her, tell her everything’s gonna be fine
<3<3<3 Oh, you...this is all kinds of love. These touching little moments make my heart skip a beat. I'm feeling all sentimental. The virginity conversation rings true--neither wants to talk about Pam's situation, but Jim's is open. I can see that happening. “Did you love her?” He is quiet for a moment. “I thought I did.” Love that. It says so much in so few words--which is what they're all about.
P.S. Sending you some virtual chicken soup. Feel better! I've heard that writing is the cure for the common cold, just as Life cereal is the cure for the common breakfast ;)
Date: September 03, 2010 04:10 am Title: Hold her, tell her everything’s gonna be fine
Don't know how you're pumping these out so fast, but I'm loving it! Once again, such cute dialogue. Just admit it, Pam. You totally like me. I can just see that. And Hey, you don’t mind finding your own way home, right? I’ll give you cab fare. Yep. Golden.
10 [Report This]Date: September 02, 2010 09:15 pm Title: Hold her, tell her everything’s gonna be fine
I just adored the tone of this - sweet, playful, full of banter - all while being slightly cautious and questionable towards the near future. Wonderful conversation, I look forwards to more.
10 [Report This]Date: September 02, 2010 01:02 pm Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
That was just the sweetest thing ever. I loved all those stories, and especially their mannerisms and the way you described them moving about, blushing, etc. That was just priceless. Sorry it took me so long to read this chapter, it seems like every hour or two I get an email in my inbox from fanfiction.net saying that there's another chapter of Gilmore Girls fic to read. So... And um... wow, NanReg!
As always, I look forward to more, and I'd love to read a proposal fic from you if you ever found the inspiration for one!
10 [Report This]Date: September 02, 2010 05:42 am Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
Little hint Pam, all those times Jim has ever teased you, it was because he was madly in love with you.
If only that was the case for everyone else... ;)
My favourite part of this is the honesty (and the fact they can go to playful to painfully honest so easily) - because I'm sure Pam did 'use' Jim at least on some level. We all do. We all love to think someone likes us or finds us attractive or thinks of us in a certain way, especially if you were in relationship like Pam and Roy's. It just took her a while to realize not only did he feel more than that, but that she felt it too. And just like he says, he enjoyed her reciprocation, of course.
I'm trying to think of the right word, but this is like an exorcism of seasons 2 and 3, not just for them but for us two. All the frustrations we had, all the sadness we felt. It makes it so much easier to forgive after reading conversations like this.
Author's Response: Catharsis?
Thank you for the thoughtful review! I always felt like part of why Pam did end up kind of taking advantage of Jim's feelings in season 2 is that she was so closed off to her own feelings, she couldn't admit to herself that she recognized how deeply Jim cared for her. That's why I thought the upset she felt when he said he was over her wasn't so much a "now I've lost my chance with Jim," but more a "sense of loss" that she wasn't quite willing to trace back to her feelings for him yet.
10 [Report This]Date: September 02, 2010 02:06 am Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
Well, that was cruel, who doesn't love Jim's penis? ;) But seriously, that story cracked me up, especially the daisy. I could imagine Pete and Tom terrorising Jim just like that.
Everything about this story is so realistic, and I haven't once thought, really? Would that happen? I'm like, that SO would have happened :)
As usual, the banter you have going between the two of them is just perfect.
I love this story so much, thanks for writing it :D
P.S - You know you have to make it up to us by writing some awesome smut, maybe not in this story, but soon, you got our hopes up ;)
Date: September 01, 2010 02:47 pm Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
THIRD review for a single chapter! I think this is a record for me...
So, on the drive in to work, I was analyzing this story in my mind, trying to figure what exactly it is that I like so much about it. I decided that it's not just the fluid writing and great details. What is making this story so compelling to me is that it is TOTALLY in character! Jim and Pam's thoughts, the things you have them doing and saying ... everything about it feels believable. At no point do I ever find myself thinking, Pam would never say that or This feels like a stretch to me.
I'm really hoping that you were wrong in your author's notes: ...in order to truly be welcomed into the fold of MTT writers, one must present a first date story. Because I tell you, girl, you have totally ruined the concept of writing a first date fic for me! I will never have the guts to attempt one now. Nothing I'd ever come up with would reach this standard.
Author's Response: This is a record, thank you! And thank you for the great compliment, but I think it's a testament to how well the characters have been created on the show. They feel so natural, both in the writing and the acting, that they're easy to identify with. And you must write a first date fic. And more importantly, update CC!
10 [Report This]Date: September 01, 2010 11:45 am Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
Omigosh, I loved this chapter so so much! I love the little flirty banter. The horror story and the very vivid image in my head of the daisy, hilarious! I especially loved the sweet sweetness at the end. I could see it in my head, the haughty look on her face, her tone when she says "You liked it." and the adorableness of him reaching under the table and taking her hand in his. So great! I'm looking forward to the next update so so much.
Author's Response: Thank you! The daisy was a last minute add-on. I figured Tom and Pete would be as hideous as possible.
Date: September 01, 2010 06:47 am Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
Cruel, cruel woman. Yes, technically, that was naked Jim but NakedToddler!Jim is not truly naked Jim...and you know that. I expect you to make it up to me. *grumbles* Despite that bit of deception, I still love this story, and Jim's penis, dearly.
These two are in the zone, and it's delightful. They are working their way through the pain, while still managing to laugh and that is so "them."
“Yeah,” he says, and his tone is amused and serious and honest and low and almost gravelly and it’s, she blushes, really, really, sexy, like even sexier than his voice normally is, and he has a very sexy voice, that’s just a fact, “I loved it.” *shivers* Continue please...
Author's Response: I'm sorry! It was way too tempting! Forgive me, please. I promise, I shall find a way to make it up to you at some point.
Date: September 01, 2010 05:18 am Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
Oh, and your author's note at the beginning was just mean! ... Getting our hopes up about naked Jim and all... You KNOW that's why I read this when I should be heading out the door!
Author's Response: Hahahaha!!! I'm sorry! I have a sick humor sometimes.
10 [Report This]Date: September 01, 2010 05:06 am Title: I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find
Another perfect chapter! I should be leaving for work, and here I am reading this... I love how smoothly you move from giddy, to sad, to pensive, to sexy in this one. Surely, this can grow to at least 20 chapters, can't it? (Oh, and I think your chapter end note should end with "who" not "whom." "I know" is a parenthetical phrase; NanReg is the subject, hence "who." Ya? Sorry, had to do it, word geek!) ... I suppose I should get to work now. (BTW, I'm using Chrome, so everything comes out as one run-on paragraph. I should just stop using Chrome for MTT...)
Author's Response: Egads! Yes ma'am, you are correct. Mea culpa. The proper edit has been made.
Date: August 31, 2010 06:35 pm Title: Why can't we give love one more chance?
I'm sorry to see your reviews have dropped off :( I am certain, however, that it is not a reflection on your story because I just re-read all your old chapters and then your new one and I am still COMPLETELY hooked. You write so beautifully and inspiringly, I am really amazed. Can't wait for more!!
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words!
10 [Report This]Date: August 28, 2010 08:00 pm Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
Just read this today, on a lazy rainy Saturday. I am somewhat floored by your take on the break-up scene, because it is so perfect and familiar, somehow: not that I've read it before but that it seems to be such a natural extension of the characters that it seems real. I am a big fan of this, and of you!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad the break up scene seems to be ringing true to character for people because God knows I struggled with it. I'm a big fan of yours as well. Thanks so much for reviewing. Hope to hear from you again.
Date: August 28, 2010 03:12 pm Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
Sorry it took me so long to review this latest update. No problems at all with your past and present tense. I loved your version of the break-up. I feel bad that I didn't feel worse for Karen. Probably because she was always just an obstacle for me. You did a great job though of making it seem so real. I hope we get more soon!
Author's Response: Thank you. Yeah, by the end, I didn't feel too sorry for Karen either.
Date: August 28, 2010 10:24 am Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
Well you did it. You made me feel bad for Karen! That's never been done before. I have to say I didn't even flinch at the tense change. Which means that the flow is perfect and I loved it. Him telling Karen I can't is just so ironic, and I really think if they had this on the show this is how it would have gone down- exactly as you've written. I adore how he pulls her into his side of the booth. Soo cute!! More please! :)
Author's Response: See, I never felt bad for Karen because Jim broke up with her. I think by the end, she deserved it. I felt bad for her because I think he got involved with her for the wrong reasons. Thank you so much for your thoughts.
10 [Report This]Date: August 28, 2010 06:32 am Title: Why can't we give love one more chance?
It just keeps getting better and better. I really felt for Karen, which is a tribute to your writing as I just wanted her to go away in the show.
Please post again soon. I'm on pins and needles here.
Author's Response: Aww, thank you! I really hope to update soon. Just have to figure out what's next.
Date: August 28, 2010 03:32 am Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
*waves* me again! I just re read this again this morning, and I don't think I quite emphasised just how awesome I thought the flashback was to Jim and Karen's breakup. It's like you climbed in to my brain and stole my thoughts. The way Karen tried to kiss him when he arrived at the fountain, how she broke down once he'd left. This honestly could not have been written better. Keep 'em coming!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for helping to talk me through it! You're a star!
10 [Report This]Date: August 28, 2010 12:05 am Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
Oh, Ivy, read my mind much? That is exactly how I picture their breakup happening. Short, to the point and really kind of painful. As much as I'd love for Jim to jump to Pam's defence at Karen's bitchy remarks, it really wouldn't have been appropriate to and he's much wiser leaving well alone. I even felt a little sorry for Karen as she broke down like that. And it's always tough making me feel truly sorry for Karen. But the way she tried to joke it off feebly and got mad but not violently so - yes, that's perfect.
I think the inclusion of the italics flashback and tense change worked really well so don't worry about it at all. I like that Pam hasn't asked what happened and that Jim hasn't told her. But more than that, I like that it makes the Jim and Pam interaction even sweeter because you know no matter what insult Karen makes or doubts that might have come up, there is nowhere else he'd rather be than sitting in the dinner with his lady.
Author's Response: Thanks! I know there's a tendency to want Jim to be all heroic and wax romantic about how amazing Pam is, and how dare Karen besmirch the name of his one true love, but I just don't see that happening. A) Jim's not an idiot. He knows Karen has a right to be pissed, and he can't take much of whatever venom she might have hurled without a grain of salt. B) He's not a man of many words. He doesn't make big dramatic speeches. When he's saying something that really matters, he's economical with his words. One of my favorite Jim moments on the show is when Karen asks him if he still has feelings for Pam, and he just says "yes."
10 [Report This]Date: August 27, 2010 11:13 pm Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
Thank you for updating so quickly! It all worked for me. But, I am looking forward to getting back to JAM. :-)
Author's Response: Me too! And as soon as I figure out what happens next, you'll get more. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: August 27, 2010 10:33 pm Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
Yes, ma'am, EVERYTHING works about this chapter. The italics, the names, the past tense. Everything.
- I love your version of the breakup scene. I love that Karen is bitter but won't beg because Jim doesn't deserve it. I love how heartless he is – breaking into a run, surely still within eyeshot, because he has a chance to make it back to the office before Pam leaves.
- I love how much you tell us about Betty when she's at the table for less than five seconds.
- I love Jim's delight at being able to pull Pam into the booth beside him. That she's awestruck by how many times they've kissed and he hasn't even taken her home yet.
- That Karen tries to beat around the bush when she knows, she knows the reason he withdrew his name. When she finally says tell me it's not about her I actually sucked in my breath. I love that Karen refuses to say Pam's name.
- And, of course, the I can't.
I just love everything. Sigh... This is like a drug.
Author's Response: Thank you! I love your note about how heartless it is for Jim to start running even though Karen can probably still see him. I didn't even think of that. I'm glad you appreciate Karen's desperation. I really felt like her asking him if he would move was a last ditch ultimatum, like she kind of knew the relationship was heading toward an end. Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful reviews.
Date: August 27, 2010 08:58 pm Title: I'd rather take a blow, at least then I would know
So, much to my irritation, I got sucked into the computer waaaay longer than I intended this evening. Thought I'd log in over here before heading to bed and, and...you just made all the wasted time worth it, ivy :D This was riveting. I was shocked when it was over. I don't think I blinked. You handled the break-up narrative beautifully. I think it flowed seamlessly from present to past and back again. I enjoyed the further insight into Jim's day and how crazy it was. You made me feel bad for Karen while still loving Pam and Jim. And since I feel the need to mention this in just about every review for this story, man, do I love it. Love. It. So, in closing, I hope that knowing before bed that this was well received by one person right off the bat (even though I'm your bitch these days), will bring you some sweet dreams...and inspire you to update again really, really soon ;)
Author's Response: Hahaha!!! You crack me up. Will you give my boyfriend instructions on being my bitch?
I'm glad the tense change worked. I have these lofty ideas... "if it's in the present tense it means they're in the moment, and if I just say she and he it shows they feel like they're the only two people in the world..." and I might just be really douchey for thinking that makes sense to anyone other than me.
And I'm so glad the breakup scene worked for you. I agonized over how to write that part. I don't have the Karen is the devil mentality and honestly, I do think Jim wasn't fair to her sometimes. Hopefully the scene seemed true to character. As always, thank you for your wonderful reviews. I look forward to knowing your thoughts.