Date: February 25, 2008 06:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
See more reviews. You're just lucky you are a good writer :)
(PS: if you get tired of my weird reviews, well, you can't really do anything about the ones I've already given you, but just tell me to shut up, kk?)
ut th wh wh bu bt ph (aka me stammering trying to find words)
Okay, they are talking. Again.
Wow.
(also I always want three kitchens because that way I could take more time between cleaning them up. However, there is more to clean. Hmm. May have to rethink that)
I don't care if I am not even halfway through, I so friggin love this - that she would try to call him back after that phone call. I mean, because it does sort of seem like something she would do, and be freaking out about doing it, and then, it happens. Yep. Pretty perfect. Conversation included.
I remember once when I went up to the top of this water park ride, and freaked out and had to go all the way back down the stairs.
Its one of those moments, you think you can. And then you become a little kid again and want to run.
:(
Hmm.. View of water is much better than view of Dwight. However, I do believe view of Pam is much better than view of water. Makes view of Dwight bearable.
(Yes, I am just way to happy that those two are finally happy TOGETHER)
Pam, don't worry. Jim was just experienmeting with Tuna. He will always come back for Ham and Cheese.
(I however, would eat tuna all day and all night. And then realize I probably ave very stinky fish breath)
Pam! Karen is not you! She will never be you
(fictional characters never listen to me)
And then the end.
Wow.
9 [Report This]Date: October 28, 2006 09:38 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh Pam. So in character for her to call and then not say anthing again. Sigh. So perfectly bittersweet, girl7. Now get back to Only! Please?
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2006 03:40 pm Title: Chapter 1
"Just a little longer – and then I’ll get there. I swear" - Poor Pam. Still not enough courage even though she may only have so many chances. Very well done, just like all of yours are!
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2006 02:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
I've read nearly all your work and I definately like how you tried something new. It was so poetic, and so real.
Loved the ending. For some reason, I had an odd sort of deja vu- the images in my head were so lifelike that I thought I'd seen them before.
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2006 12:23 pm Title: Chapter 1
primarily because it brought with it a consciousness of the fact that she'd apparently been taking for granted that he would just be different somewhere else. That he'd somehow cease to be himself when he wasn't with her.
This is exactly how it feels when your ex-whatever is away from you. Great description:)
This is great, a good look at how Pam is her own biggest road block. I loved the dream at the end. Is this seriously a one-shot? Because you could continue it, you know. You know you want to.:)
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2006 10:38 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow. Lovely prose, realistic characterization, haunting tone...and the imagery (particularly your description of the high-dive) is stunning. This is simple and very effective. Welcome to the wonderful world of the one-shot!
Date: October 27, 2006 09:23 am Title: Chapter 1
Painful and poignant and yay for stepping out of your comfort zone. It's tough not to give people the happily ever after. It kills me everytime I do it. It worked so well where you left it. Great job!!
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2006 09:21 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh, ouch. This is so Pam. So paralyzed, even though she wants to move. Great characterization.
Date: October 27, 2006 07:19 am Title: Chapter 1
I really liked this. I thought the spare use of language made it more powerful, and the way that you selectively included some of Pam's thoughts (particularly when she's promising herself that she will say something...soon) was great.
Also loved that you explored the very real possibility that Pam continiously chickens out and never takes a chance on Jim--it's not easy and not happy, but it's great to read about.
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2006 06:17 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow. Very deep. I liked the dream allusion, and the symbolism. I wish Jim would stop being such a jerk!
10 [Report This]Date: October 27, 2006 05:29 am Title: Chapter 1
Very different for you, but also very good. I like your use of metaphors here and, as with all good fics, the last line just answers all questions.
8 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2006 09:23 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow that was different. I so wanted to pull the words out of Pam's mouth. I hope you decide to continue this.
Author's Response:
Thanks for taking the time to review (you're so great about that). Yes, it was different for me; usually when I write it's less of a conscious effort - just let it flow - but this one was more of me trying to deliberately pare it down.
Thanks again!
10 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2006 08:32 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow. This really is a departure for you. Really powerful - not that your other stuff isn't (you know I dig it much!) but this was really spare and just so close to the bone. I like Pam's determination to get past her Pam-ish-ness and also Jim's mixture of resolve/realization that she still owns him. Bothof their conflicts are just right there on the page (or screen, as it were.) Well done. Seriously.
Oh and, I'm glad I'm not the only one who went over to the angsty side of the street post-phone call!
(btw, there's a great short story by David Foster Wallace - actually it's in Brief Interviews, fave of our old friend JK - called Forever Overhead which also uses the imagery of a high diving board re: taking a leap into the unknown/next phase of life. One of my favorite stories, really poignant (and quite different than much of DFW's other work, so even if you don't usually like him, you might like this!)
Author's Response:
As always, thanks so much for the thoughtful review.
Yes, I decided I'd try something a little different - just slightly. Obviously, the spare narrative/prose doesn't come naturally to me, so this was more of a little exercise than escape. But oh well.
I have read Brief Interviews, actually, and I liked that story as well. The high dive inspiration for this one, though, came from something that happened to me at the rec department when I was about seven or eight (except it involved being hassled by two older brothers and yes, the water did hurt like hell when I hit!).
Thanks again for the review....
10 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2006 08:01 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well done! This was so heartbreaking. I wanted to pull the words out of her mouth:) Great characterization.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Yeah, if I were Pam, I'd have blabbed it all a long time ago - and thrown myself at him, too, but that's another fic entirely.
10 [Report This]Date: October 26, 2006 07:50 pm Title: Chapter 1
A one shot? OMG I so wanted her to call him back. Balls in her court baby!! Nice story all the same. But now I have to go and read some fluff to get me through the night.
Author's Response: Sorry not to leave you with a nice happy feeling - you know I'm fond of those. :o) Thanks for the immediate review, though!