1 [Report This]Date: December 13, 2020 09:48 pm Title: Chapter 30: A Date
I neglected to review this one as I initially read it as well. Whoops.
You’ve done really well here establishing these characters – the description of Pam having “grown up” into not getting too excited about good things or reacting too much when things go badly is just brutal. And “He’d always gone through life with an insouciant attitude; he found that for the people whom he could charm, it worked, and for the people he couldn’t, it didn’t matter, and it amused him, so he clung to it whenever possible” is Jim to a T… in all his awesomeness and deep-seated, clearly-going-to-get-him-into-trouble lack of perfection.
The trip through their immediate bonding was a good ride – the way they connect, start plotting together, navigate that nervous tension, it just works.
Your version of Roy here is very realistically awful – the way he’s still forgetting about her years after the hockey game, hanging up the phone (file that under things that should justify homicide), him being jealous but flirting with and actively comparing her unfavorably to other women, it paints a vivid picture of the world’s crappiest boyfriend. The description of Roy as her fiancĂ©e but not her friend really hits home, and tells you so much about that relationship. It’s a guy who could easily be our canon Roy, and it’s hard to think of her having to live with that for three more years.
I do love the way you develop their breakup, and how it’s very much about Roy’s failings – Jim is Pam’s future and the catalyst for what happens, but he more reveals the problem than causes it.
And the way you walk them down the line towards getting together was lovely as always. The apartment-seeking sequence was a lot of fun, and I love the touch of still having their first date at Cugino’s after all that.
Author's Response: I am so glad you liked this. Roy is just...I love making him the worst, and making the breakup natural that way, but sometimes I feel a little bad about it. So it's nice to have the reminder that other people appreciate that version of him too (as a story not as a person). Thank you!
1 [Report This]Date: January 06, 2020 08:14 am Title: Chapter 30: A Date
I've really enjoyed this! Glad to see it finally working out for them. I particularly liked the car park showdown parts - partly because I take an indecent amount of pleasure in seeing Roy get his comeuppance, but you've also made a really good job of dealing with all the various characters' responses here, and made it really colourful.
I also really liked the apartment hunting, and meeting Jim's teacher. She was lovely!
Super work, and thank you.
Author's Response: Thanks for this feedback! Sorry I took so long to get to it. Thanks especially for the specific point on the teacher; I was concerned that might not have worked so it's great to hear.
Date: January 01, 2020 04:00 am Title: Chapter 30: A Date
Nice to see this all wrapped up (& sad to see it end all the same). I love the call back to the initial phone call/chapters & the mention of the University of Scranton account. I’ll admit, I wouldn’t have minded if you wanted to flesh out the date & everything that proceeded waking up the next morning in more detail, but it didn’t feel too rushed that it disrupted the flow - I just would have loved to see it. Thanks for taking us on this journey into what could have been!
Author's Response: So I forgot to respond to these last reviews on this one, sorry. Thanks so much for your feedback; I probably could have fleshed the date out but I'm always nervous about portraying that particular moment in their lives so...I tend to gloss over it. It's a habit/failing of mine. Thanks for all the reviews along the way!
Date: December 31, 2019 05:50 am Title: Chapter 30: A Date
Wonderful way to wrap this up. Thank you so much for taking the whole Nerd!Pam thing and running with it like this. The way you wrote it added depth but also a lot of fun to their interactions. We all love classic JAM banter, but to have through the filter of Marvel vs. DC was really a treat. The last one here though with Captain Marvel vs Captain Marvel was a master stoke. I do like that even though it's a friendly debate, neither one really backs down. They know what they like, they'll stick to it. Of course they're, well in this case more Jim than Pam, also willing to explore the other studio a bit. To broaden horizons. Which of course is another great way to bring them closer together.
The other detail I liked it that glimpse into Pam's artist mind at the start. How she remembers the date by colors and how those colors make her feel. Lovely way to show how she thinks, not just what she thinks.
Yes it was kind of a slow burn to get to this point, but it was wonderful to see the development. Pam coming out of her shell some more, Jim finding his groove in this new world of Dunder-Mifflin. It was all just a ton of fun throughout.
Superb as always my friend. This one was a joy to read as it progressed.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Author's Response: I realized I never responded to this! Sorry for that. I always appreciate your detailed feedback, especially (for this one) on the Marvel!Pam elements. I'm glad those worked for you because they were a total blast to write. Thanks as ever for your incredibly valuable help in conceiving this through the prompting of your reviews. Si Quæris Peninsulam Amœnam Circumspice.
Date: December 25, 2019 06:44 pm Title: Chapter 29: Parking Lot
Ah, I love that this Jim gets that Pam is asking him out in her own quiet way. And that they both then refer to it as a date (leaving no place for miscommunication). Wonderful. Really looking forward to seeing how you wrap this one up.
Merry Christmas! All the best to you & yours.
Author's Response: Thank you! A quick wrapup, but hopefully one you enjoy! Happy New Year!
Date: December 25, 2019 04:36 pm Title: Chapter 29: Parking Lot
Lots of fun there at the end. The awkwardness that seemed to pervade the first part of this chapter is more than made up for with the realization that he's taking her out on their first date. And it's to Cuginos. Wonderful way to tie into canon yet still remain in keeping with this AU. Very nicely done. Looking forward to seeing how this all wraps up. Hopefully with at least one more Marvel vs. DC debate between the two of them cause those were such fun throughout this tale.
Author's Response: Thank you! I really appreciate all your thoughts and feedback along the way!
Date: December 24, 2019 05:09 pm Title: Chapter 28: The Office Again
Very good introspection here on Pam's part. I like that she's working on getting things squared away in her mind. OF course there's that nibbling fear in the back that her feelings for Jim are how you described them. But I doubt she'll give much credence to them what with all this thinking about things. As always I'm on pins and needles waiting for one of your updates.
Merry Christmas to you too. Hope you have a good one.
Author's Response: Thank you! I enjoy writing their introspection, especially around key decisions, so this is my favorite point in the story to write. Merry Christmas! Mine has been great so far, hope yours is too.
Date: December 23, 2019 12:13 pm Title: Chapter 27: Office
Very cute. I think it's a nice bridge chapter. Let them both relax into a nice friendship where they can be happy. A good base to build off of for something more romantic. Lots of fun seeing Pam be devious like that about the yearbook. Must have been driving Jim mad in all the right ways to not be able to talk about it. Though I get the feeling that seeing that picture just about near melted his heart.
Author's Response: Thank you! I find this story is coming out in smaller bursts than usual, but I desperately want to make sure it gets done so there may be more short ones. Thanks for the comments!
Date: December 23, 2019 10:56 am Title: Chapter 27: Office
Yes! Ready for them to get together! I have no more jellybeans to send, so imagine I sent you 20. Love this story
Author's Response: Thank you! Onwards we go!
Date: December 22, 2019 02:35 pm Title: Chapter 26: Apartment Hunting
Of course Jim Halpert is the kind of guy who would rent an apartment from his third grade teacher. Which leaves me wondering if Jim in third grade would have been lovely & charming or a complete an utter terror (but in that adorable, too cheeky for his own good kind of way)... Regardless, I’m glad to see it looks like Pam will have a new place to call home!
Author's Response: Thank you! We'll hear a little more about that coming up :)
Date: December 22, 2019 12:04 pm Title: Chapter 26: Apartment Hunting
Very cute. I think it's adorable that it seemed Jim was keyed up for the first apartment, but then it's the second one that fits so well. More and more thoughts from Pam's point of view about Jim and all good things. Nice way to get things set up for the future. Lovely chapter. Can't wait to read more.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think of Jim as really wanting her to end up in the one where he doesn't have to expose her to his past, but obviously that's the right one for her.
1 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2019 02:16 am Title: Chapter 25: The Batmobile
Oh, that's a wonderful chapter! I love so much to see them just being themselves, silly and simple, without obstacles. Want to see how it'll end!
And the line 'but they were laughing, and she was happy, and all was right in the world,' - is the best.
Author's Response: Thank you! I think we all know how it's going to end, but the point is the details, isn't it? :)
Date: December 17, 2019 01:35 pm Title: Chapter 25: The Batmobile
I wish I could leave more than 5 jellybeans. Love this story. Wouldn’t mind if you kept it nice and long. I am definitely going back to read the whole thing once it’s complete.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm going to try to get this done by the New Year, FYI :)
Date: December 17, 2019 11:47 am Title: Chapter 25: The Batmobile
Another sweet chapter. Things are definitely looking like they’re headed in the right direction! I’m with Pam in the tea verses sugary concoction debate... Very cute banter there.
Author's Response: Thank you! I always worry about the banter, so thanks for the reassurance!
Date: December 17, 2019 10:46 am Title: Chapter 25: The Batmobile
Wonderful banter back and forth between them. When I read Pam's choice of tea I thought she might use the line, "tea, Earl Grey, hot," that Captain Picard so famously uses in "Star Trek: The Next Generation." If it's just a matter or word order error there and this IS a Picard reference, it's delightful. Let's face it, it's delightful either way considering how you've got them bouncing off each other like this.
Wonderful as always to see an update for this story.
Author's Response: Thank you! I should have quoted that more accurately, but I think I'll let the misquote stand. It was a lot of fun to create this banter, and I'm glad it worked for you!
Date: December 11, 2019 09:21 pm Title: Chapter 24: Corolla
Definitely adorable. It’s nice to see Pam coming to a bit of realization that there is an attraction there. Also great to see her defaulting to humor & it working very well to defuse whatever awkwardness/difference to Roy that may exist. Bring on the apartment hunting!
Author's Response: Thank you! Apartment hunting will commence shortly!
Date: December 11, 2019 12:51 pm Title: Chapter 24: Corolla
"We, Miss Pamela=what's your last name"
"Morgan"
Whoops. I'm sure it's just an innocent typo. (wordo? is that a thing since the incorrect word IS spelled correctly, but it's the wrong word for what you meant)
I also like it that Jim's using this as an opportunity to get to know her more. Find out what she likes to do outside of work.
Yes, they are all sorts of adorable here. Pam's still kind of overthinking things, but her thinking is starting to head in the right direction at least. Nicely done.
What's also adorable is the continuation of their Marvel vs. DC debate. That's just so much fun. I can easily see in this world that once they finally get together they try and rope their kids into things, buying Marvel or DC clothes to send into the other one telling them to say something like "Look what Mommy got me!"
Author's Response: Oh good catch! I've edited that. Thanks for the support on both the general adorableness and the comics stuff. I always appreciate your careful eye!
Date: December 10, 2019 09:02 pm Title: Chapter 23: Pam's Desk
This is nice. The balance between Jim wanting to move things to action & giving Pam time & space all the same. It’s good to see him find a few ways & a few moments to get some time with her without being too forward/it being too much.
And of course Michael made life difficult by saying far too much to their colleagues unnecessarily... Very fitting.
Author's Response: Thank you! I appreciate your thoughtful comments on the character dynamics, they're always much appreciated.
Date: December 10, 2019 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 23: Pam's Desk
These two are finally moving forward! Can’t wait to read how the apartment hunting goes. Great chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you! They are definitely going in the direction we all want now :)
Date: December 10, 2019 03:50 pm Title: Chapter 23: Pam's Desk
Interesting time jump here. Especially since the last time we saw Jim and Pam together it could be interpreted that Pam had tossed first aid supplies at him and then stormed off. Nice to see neither of them appear mad at each other.
This feels quite unique the way Pam's looking for an apartment. It's real in that it does take some time, so that's ok. I'm wondering why she didn't ask Jim to help her? Maybe she wanted to do this on her own, fresh new start and all. This is also fairly early into Jim and Pam's friendship so while they may be work-buddies at this point, maybe not the kind of friend you look to for something important like this. Until now that is.
Good on Jim though for giving her some time and when he does approach her, it's in a way that shows he's watching, he cares, and he's there to help her create her own adult life for her first. Great writing as always.
Author's Response:
Thank you! Yeah, Jim was watching across the parking lot, so I think he knew who she was mad at.
I think you are spot on on the reasons why I don't think this Pam would automatically ask Jim to help--add to it that even though they didn't have Casino Night she was still accused of cheating on Roy with him and so is going to be a little leery initially of confirming that suspicion even though she broke up with Roy. Thanks for the review!
Date: December 06, 2019 02:51 pm Title: Chapter 22: Pam's Choices
Oh my goodness, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love Pam in this chapter. This is the best version of Pam, bold, confident and able to acknowledge her own worth. There were so many great lines in this, but Pam’s realization that it wasn’t about her - so, so great.
I can’t wait to see how you get us to the HEA!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like her, and I hope you enjoy our run in home from here!
Date: December 06, 2019 07:13 am Title: Chapter 22: Pam's Choices
Great reaction from Pam finally!
Author's Response: Finally indeed! Thanks :)
Date: December 05, 2019 08:55 pm Title: Chapter 22: Pam's Choices
Loved the Ego the Living Planet reference there. Great job slipping that in. I also love how Pam comes to all these realizations. That Roy is not the kind of man she wants to be with and more importantly she's not a doormat to just sit back and take it.
Wish I still had some jelly beans left to give to this story but I ran out a while ago.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm trying not to forget my Marvel!Pam along the way ;). Hope you keep enjoying even if you're out of beans (for which, thanks!).
Date: December 02, 2019 09:52 pm Title: Chapter 21: The Same, Continued
Brief but vital is definitely an apt description. I love how well Pam has Jim picked. I hope Jim can see the significance of it. I bet if Pam thinks on it, she doesn’t have Roy as easily figured out - yes, his behavior is somewhat predictable, but does she really understand the creature that is Roy & the sometimes terrible decisions he makes?
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: I think Jim will have a lot to think about after these two chapters. I promise I'll let him do it (and her too). Thanks!
Date: December 02, 2019 07:05 pm Title: Chapter 21: The Same, Continued
Short yes, but full of impact. Clearly Jim and Pam have a strong connection here. That Pam can list off all of Jim's tells like this is a great way to show that. That Jim is flummoxed until he has no other choice but just spit it out is also a good choice. He's trying to be the nice guy but at the same time he can't deny what's he's feeling towards Pam.
Seems like Pam is off to have her own confrontation. Lots of heated emotions right now. Looking forward to more as always.
Author's Response: Yes, I think short but dense is the way this will probably go from here on in. Thank you for the review!