So this made me feel all the things. Sadness for Kelly for being in the position she was in. Rage at Ryan for well everything. Quite impressed that Pam and Karen were devious enough to plan everything out. Relief that Jim was actually taking Pam seriously, first about Kelly and then about Ryan.

Delightfully wicked slow burn for Jim and Pam for this one. It took awhile, but the sparks were there from the off. Even without a direct bedroom scene between them you could just tell how things would have been.

The epilogue killed me. Each explaining how they knew most of what the other had done. Well done.

You know my thoughts already but I would like to highlight the ways you made my Wednesday infinitely better:

Wine tasting in Carbondale. The audacity.

Gorgeous and unruly dark hair popping into the room and then this "Jealousy looks really good on the already handsome detective. Almost as good as the rolled-up sleeves of the button-down he’s still wearing despite the late hour of the day."

Cookies and Cocoa for Christ Christmas Party

Emily Blunt and 'that weird indie movie that everyone thought was going to give her some sort of legitimate actress cred' followed closely by her co-star that she made out with that is in all those dirty book movies

Danny
Danny and tequila
Danny and tequila and Karen

Mevin Kalone

the entire Epilogue

Anyway, this was perfection and I'm sure I'll be back later with more delightful parts I adore after I reread it a dozen more times.

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Oh AG. No lie, I've had to stop and take a break from reading this through to the end so many times because you wrote it so beautifully and realistically that it hurt too much to read in one sitting. It's so, so good though.

I was hooked the minute you used "he was so much older and wiser" which is quite possibly the only time the word wise was used to describe Roy.

"She sits on the edge of the bed, after dressing in tight fitting leggings and a shirt that is a size too small, clothes that are difficult to remove. She does so strategically." This line kills me every single time. I just need you to know that.

Oh and then there's this: "ut that’s what you do in a relationship, right? You tolerate the few traits that you don’t quite agree with because the good outweighs the bad. It’s what she knows, anyway. She’s seen her mother put up with her father’s distaste of household chores because he does in fact handle all of the yard work. She’s watched her father bite his tongue when Mom goes on one of her rants, because in the end, her sweet words are what he fell in love with in the first place. Relationships are a compromise. And she’d been in what felt like a mature, adult relationship for over a year now, which meant making mature adult decisions.

And besides. He’s mentioned tolerating a few of her quirks, too." OOF. I'm not okay. I'm really not.

"But a blow to the cheek didn’t exactly spell out love, and she found herself spending more and more time trying to figure out what had taken their perfect little puzzle and scattered all of the pieces." Hey, when are you going to stop killing me with the way you string words together so beautifully and perfectly? Just wondering because I'd like to live.

I just -- the progression this takes, from telling the slow decline of the Roy/Pam story and the slow build of the Jim/Pam story -- for real, I ask once more, how do you do this?

"Hey, that yougurt is expired." FINE. This is where I fall in love with Jim in this story too. I hope you're pleased wih yourself.

AG. He. Took. Her. To. His. Parents. Again, how dare you do this to us.

I'm really sorry that I'm just spitting my favorite lines of yours at you here, but there's just so many in this story and honestly, you've destroyed my brain with it and I can barely form coherent and original thoughts when you write things like, "She sits next to him on the couch, not quite touching, but not quite far away either. Her savior sits in blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt, the gold in his green eyes swirling tentatively as he waits for what comes next."

June 10th. I hate you. No I don't. I love you.

1

This is a really fascinating dark take on the Pam-Roy relationship. Whether or not you think canon Roy was capable of this sort of violence towards Pam, I think you've given us a lot of insight about how their canon relationship developed. You can see, even amidst the horror, how they managed to last as long as they did and make it work in the first place. Ironically, this feels like a very plausible version of the happy high school days of Pam and Roy. I actually really appreciate you giving us and her that before what she goes through next.

I also thought you did well with the frog-in-the-pot descent in domestic violence as seen through Pam's eyes.

The hyper-awareness of him feels scary and realistic, and the details of how they plan her escape are spot on - the code, the slow process of getting her things out of the house.

The way it impacts her relationship with Jim and the escape he provides, how much sharper it makes the contrast between the two of them, and the lack of big dramatic scenes - it's a slow boil in its own right.

And that it ends on June 10th is the cherry on top of this very depressing sundae.

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That was so beautifully written 👏

Author's Response: Thank you so much! 

1

That was a hard reading (and I had to make a few pauses to respire a little), but wow! That's fantastic. I love its realism and Pam's escape (I'm a sucker for 'Pam saves herself' and 'Jim in shining armor' tropes, and here we have both! yay!), and the structure with presence and memories is amazing. Thank you!
I'm dying to know what happens after June the 10th, but, of course, it's up to you. Thank you once more!

1

Hoo boy that was...well that was intense. The slow slide of what Pam had hoped for with Roy into the nightmare was heartbreaking. However the slow build up with Jim helping her to rebuild herself was the perfect counterpoint. I loved that Jim is just there for her. He's not pushing any agenda or making demands of her. He's just there to be there for her. Exactly the kind of slow quiet strength she needed to finally get herself out of her situation with Roy. Even though she still has a long way to go there at the end, she knows there's is hope, healing, safety, and just maybe that love her heart has always craved. Well done as always.

1

oh, AG. This is beautiful and sad and you did it so well. I have a significant number of emotions about this, which is a hallmark of excellent writing. This really gave me an emotional response and honestly helped me name some emotions and thought processes and feelings that I’ve struggled with in a similar situation that really does feel safe. Thank you for sharing your talent with us, friend.

Oh Sprinkles, I am in love with this story from the very first sentence. To open with Dwight is genius and you wrote him so very well here!

For like, 2 seconds, you had me feeling a little guilty about being a super fan but then I remember that I've never actually thrown lingerie at Jim... I'm not saying I wouldn't have, if given the chance, but the point is, I haven't. So I don't feel so bad anymore.

Mark is such a dude here and I kind of love and hate him for it. I'd say poor Jim, but then I got to Pam's section and ugh.. poor Pam! I'm really sad that Jim didn't reach out to her through all of it.

"The camera zoomed in on his face, and Pam got lost in a well-worn fantasy of Jim’s arm around her shoulder as they walked somewhere by the ocean, him looking down at her with those eyes, and smiling…" Ooof, that line killed me.

"Jim hung up the phone and paced his apartment, his thoughts racing. Was she ok? Was she freaking out? What would Roy do when she told him?
He thought he should call her. Or at least text. Just to check in and make sure she was ok in all this insanity." Okay, I'm not quite so mad at Jim anymore.

Love Isabel here - you know how I feel about Pam's Wild Summer.

I don't know why, but knowing that Karen fast forwarded through the Scranton parts of the show and only watched the Stamford parts made me laugh - it's so perfectly in character.

"“Why did you break up with Roy if you weren’t interested in Jim? ‘Cause watching the show, it seemed to me like you were pretty into Jim all along.”" DANM KAREN. Okay. I love this.

Michael's "Family Dinner". You nailed every single personality at that table.

Ooh, the idea of a fan catching Jim and Pam having this fight? I'm sad we didn't get that on the show now, but this entire scene more than makes up for it.

You write angry, pining JAM so well and I never want you to stop because we're so lucky to read these gems you keep coming up with.

"It wasn’t long before they were in a dark room being shown footage of Pam on tiptoes kissing Jim on the cheek by the vending machine in the break room." One of my all-time favorite scenes of the show, I'm so glad you added it here.

"Ready?" No ma'am. No, I wasn't ready for this story to hit me in all the feels.

Author's Response: I was here to enjoy the reviews on your chapter and then I saw this. You are so kind and I'm happy that you loved my quirky take on this. Thank you for giving me the gift of a long review!

1

Lady.

Don't you ever tell me not to get excited about something you have written ever again.

This 10000% embodies this song and my goodness did it hurt in the best ways. The "I can't stay" "I can't leave" part brought imminent death. And their nicknames. And how comfortable, yet painful, and also complicated, their relationship is.

I loved it, so so much. Really truly. You're a genius.

1

Okay. I have some questions.

Who do you think you are?

What gives you the right?

No but seriously: you broke my heart with these two and their longing and their willingness to talk about what divides them and their inability to get beyond it. This relationship felt very lived in, and it's interesting to read a Jim and Pam who are able to communicate... even as it's hard to read them able to communicate and STILL can't get past it.

Really good use of canon references here, too.

But mainly, props on giving them the unhappy ending. This did not feel like a version of them that one day is going to be solved by a big dramatic gesture, and while I resent you for that immensely, I like it a lot.

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I love this song, and I knew that the fic to go with it was going to be deadly. But this takes it out of the potentially sappy Christmas season, and into the darkness of mid-winter. The feelings you invoke with your words are perfect for the song and for the place Jim and Pam find themselves here.

I love that we don't have a lot of details - like where she lives now, did they ever really date - and yet we do have some backstory because you've written it in perfectly.

The sex is so hot and steamy and yet it's not the centrepiece. You just fold it into the story so that we get the searing pain of how much these two like each other, and how well they fit, and yet how this is just not their time.

The way you set a scene is masterful. The bar, and then Jim's house, and then the goodbye in the driveway. Even though this chapter is long, I feel like you say so much with so few words.