1 [Report This]Date: June 23, 2021 11:15 am Title: Bras on the Bar
I feel like there's definitely not enough out there about Penny, and specifically Pam and Jim's relationship with Penny - I loved this! I really like the way you've written the sisters' relationship, and fleshed out their backstory: it feels like it makes total sense for them to not have been that close before Pam broke up with Roy, partially because of their different personalities and partially because of circumstance. I also love that Penny has Pam's tendencies with men, hee. And the way you've written Pam's protectiveness of Penny, and Jim gently teasing her for it but supporting her when he needs to. Also adorable: Jim's bathtime routine with Cece and Phil. Finally, Penny investing in David Wallace's company (and benefiting from it) is just genius. This was so much fun to read!
Author's Response:
Well thanks - guess sometimes when you think you are wasting time you are actually filling a fan fic hole.
I really enjoyed the little glimpse of Penny (fan of Anna Camp since her True Blood days) and with a sister of my own felt I had a little personal experience to gleam from (write what you know and all).
I never did put together the Pam catchphrase - "Suck It" with the DW company until this fic started forming but made me appreciate the show writers even more.
So glad you enjoyed this one - thanks for sharing you did. Always a thrill to get reviews and I always enjoy yours.
1 [Report This]Date: June 16, 2021 02:39 pm Title: Bras on the Bar
Why in the world would anyone kick you off the site for this? It was adorable. I loved getting a little insight into Penny’s love life and I think it is totally appropriate that she was involved with a rock star.
The twist at the end with David Wallace was perfectly done and you set it up so well. This was super cute, Max!
Author's Response:
Aww well thanks - tongue and cheek comment but I guess it was the far-fetched ending - but now that I think about it much more far-fetched things happened on the show, but also since it was was so random.
But I'm glad you enjoyed it. Penny's delusional rock star boyfriend was the plot device to get her to where she might cross paths with DW or cross paths with someone who might cross paths - ala his kid's drum teacher. Glad you liked the set up and the glimpse into Penny.
I had a lot of fun taking a little break to write this one. Thanks for always taking the time to read and review - I love hearing from you.
1 [Report This]Date: June 12, 2021 08:18 pm Title: Bras on the Bar
This was well worth the procrasti-writing! I feel like you've done a good job showing-and-not-telling here about what Penny is like, her relationship with the Halperts and about the thoroughly domestic home life of Jim and Pam. (Their dialogue feels very lived in here.) And the background to the development of her and Pam's sisterly bond feels true to what we know of Pam.
I also really like the note making the connection between Pam's bad relationship, her mom's bad marriage and Penny's current struggles with men - maybe it's because the bulk of fanfic was written before we found out about it, but I feel like the idea of the Beesly marriage having a lot of explanatory power for why Pam and Roy lasted so long is important and underexplored, and it makes perfect sense that that would end up hitting Penny, too. Had not thought about that before and it may be part of my head-canon now. (Plus it explains one of the few things we DO know about Penny in canon - that her boyfriend apparently did not see fit to accompany her to her sister's wedding.)
Penny having made her fortune investing in David Wallace is HILARIOUS and perfectly chosen... and another connection I had not made before.
If this is your procrasti-writing, please share more of it.
Author's Response:
Go figure, writer's block has its advantages. I guess this could be seen as my entremet, a little palate cleanser that is quite delicious on its own.
It was fun writing this bit - I'd been wanting to put out a kind snapshot piece, a little lighthearted romp, if you will. While hitting a wall with everything else I was working on I came up with a name, a time period and a tertiary character I wanted to shed a little more light on, but not quite a story. However, once I got writing it just happened. I have a sister (4 years my junior) and I guess that helped with the backstory, as was my thoughts about how the examples you see in your parents often affect how you go about your own relationships (not just with opposite sex, with things like money and jobs and ambition too). I love that you connected the boyfriend who didn't come to the wedding - it was in my thinking too when I had her having lots of bad relationships. Hopefully, now with the role model of her sister's marriage and move to NY she'll find her Mr. Right, just not a Hogs and Heifers. (I assume you had heard of the place- curious if it was legend outside the tri-state).
I will be honest I came up with her making her fortune with DW's company but had not put together the name of the company with Pam's little retort she loved to use until I got into writing and when I discovered that I was in awe of the brilliance of the show's writers. SO well done (I'm still not convinced you were not one of them).
This little diddy has helped me past the block so onto other things but hopefully I've taken away something in how I let this one come that will reflect in future stories.
Thanks as always for the insights and encouragement you share.
Date: June 12, 2021 05:55 pm Title: Bras on the Bar
Thanks to Noble Land Mermaid and you both for teaching me Procrasti-writing. The benefits of writing 55's, drabbles, and one shots are well known and should never, ever be denigrated. So glad you wrote this. It's smooth.
It is so well written and flows effortlessly. Even the jump from “another Beesly bra adorning the walls of the New York gin mill. “ to “Did they go down okay?” The facets of modern family life – youthful indiscretions (I know Pam would have been chronologically older at Pratt, but she still had college kinks to work out) to raising babies -- exposed in a single paragraph shift.
I liked your take on Penny's backstory. It also added nuance to Pam's history with a younger sister's POV in a few words. Your economic use of words is one of the things I really respect in your writing.
From the first mention of Hogs and Heifers, my thought snapped to Line Dancing My Life Away by beth9501. It's a stretch, but most of the time I have no control over what connections my brain makes. At least this time I didn't click directly to Line Dancing and read it first.
All hail, Procrasti-writing! Good onya
Author's Response:
Aww, Once, thanks so much. I guess procrasti-writing has its place and I'll never doubt its value again.
Okay, so I was sure you were going to have some crazy Hogs and Heifers story from the way you began that sentence and I so wish you had since as I mention I don't except I was in the bar and paid a crazy amount of money to have a beer there.
As for the flow - well I've been there - one minute your sharing a crazy story about your younger days and next you have to change a diaper or attend to a toddler who cries for mom while you're entertaining guests. You've made my day that you felt it flowed so well and was a story worth reading. I should hope for writer's block more often (no- I take that back).
Penny is a Beesly, right and I just adored when she said 'don't squish the baby' at the wedding. Wish we had a little more time with her so I've created it.
Thanks for your kind words and your fun review. I'll have to add Line Dancing to my getting heavier by the moment bookshelf.
1 [Report This]Date: June 12, 2021 12:48 pm Title: Bras on the Bar
Kind of fun little slice of life type story here. I can fully get behind that Penny is the way she is here. Outgoing almost to a fault and not really sure of what she wants or where she's going. The bond she and Pam share is great fun to read here. Giving as good as they get from Jim. Nice job for a quick little story that shows a good relationship between the three of them. I liked it.
Author's Response:
I always enjoy your slice of life stories (the one with the razor in particular but all are fun) so I decided to try my hand at one while struggling through a block around my other in the works pieces. Probably not the best way to do things but the name came first (maybe inspired by an airplane - and also a video from when my son was younger) and then I had to build a story around it. I guess it worked out well then...and it was fun the write the sisters, paint what the relationship between Penny and Jim was like and tie in a catchphrase/company and make Penny some dough. Hopefully she'll meet her 'Jim' in New York City, let's hope at a coffee bar and not a bar like the one from the story.
Thanks for always reading and sharing your thoughts. Always love hearing your thoughts.
1 [Report This]Date: June 12, 2021 10:30 am Title: Bras on the Bar
This was amazing. I loved the background you gave Pam and Penny's relationship, how they weren't always super close but now are. I love how protective Pam got and the little jabs Penny and Jim made at her for it. Most of all, I simply adore that Penny invested in Suck It. That is canon now and I will accept no arguments. I laughed so hard and am still giggling just thinking about it. That was genius, Max!!
Author's Response:
I'm so happy you enjoyed that - to be honest, I wanted to keep writing during a block I was having and thought I'd try my hand at a shorter piece...the title came to me first and with that self prompt I constructed this little story. I enjoyed writing the sisters this way and the how they all would interact (but could you imagine how it would be if it were Roy and not Jim - a very different story indeed.)
During the writing I realized how brilliant the name of the company was - the writers for that show were amazing - in that Pam had told Jim to suck it (I think on more than one occasion, but it was during the episode The Fire I am thinking of) and it all came together.
Thanks for reading and bringing a smile to me face with your review.
1 [Report This]Date: June 12, 2021 10:20 am Title: Bras on the Bar
Okay, I know nothing about bonds, but this is hilarious! I like the way Beesly sisters bonding (and it feels very real!), and also, I quite like David Wallace, so it's nice to bring him into the story!
Thank you for sharing :)
Author's Response:
Savings bonds - the simple explanation- you buy them from government either at less than face value and wait for them to mature to full value (or beyond) or at face value but with a higher interest rate. Either way they are a low-risk investment that encourages saving.
My dad bought them for me (and my sister) when I was little - I still haven't cashed mine in. They were also once given as a gift at milestone events like graduations, bar/bat mitzvahs, etc.
Anyway, I'm so touched you enjoyed the sisterly love and it felt real to you. Me too about David Wallace- he was always such a good man, nice to see things worked out for him after DM. Glad I could have his fortune touch the Beesly girls in more ways than one.
1 [Report This]Date: June 12, 2021 07:23 am Title: Bras on the Bar
"It seemed, however, she wanted to hear the sordid tale right from him, probably so she could tease him about his oozing sex appeal and irresistibleness to females, which would somehow lead back to her telling Pam how lucky she was she ditched Roy and chose Jim instead, something that always made him blush and had him correcting Penny as to who was the true lucky one."
Ooh, this was great.
And oh my god, for a minute I thought Penny had invested in Suck It and I was shipping her with David Wallace, lol...
Maybe I still am.
Author's Response:
She did invest in Suck It! Did that not come across by end? Please let me know if I need to make more clear. Like I said this was some mind suck I got caught up in that maybe I didn't spend enough time on editing for clarity.
oh but I'm loving the idea of Penny and David Wallace, too bad he's married.
Thanks for reading my nonsense.