Date: April 06, 2010 05:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
Beautifully written and so heartbreaking. I need a glass of wine now too!
Date: November 28, 2006 12:10 pm Title: Chapter 1
Man, then angst and the helplessness of two people who don't take charge of their own lives. Who let things happen even though they want more and won't take that step... You've captured it perfectly. Now I think I need a good cry and some wine!
Date: November 25, 2006 10:56 am Title: Chapter 1
Very nice -- I really like the structure of this piece, and the details.
10 [Report This]Date: November 24, 2006 08:14 pm Title: Chapter 1
Angsty, yes, but so beautifully written. this line especially - "Words bounce back and forth against his skull until they turn into sounds without meaning"
9 [Report This]Date: November 23, 2006 07:44 am Title: Chapter 1
Beautifully written but this broke my heart! Pam crying in the stalls at work, and Jim being so distraught over coming back & then over what happens.
10 [Report This]Date: November 23, 2006 04:45 am Title: Chapter 1
He can do whatever he wants, because they’re friends and they’ll always be friends. Words bounce back and forth against his skull until they turn into sounds without meaning
I'd say that pretty much nails it. As usual, this was a beautiful thing - efficiently goes right to the heart of it, but poetic too. Fantastic last line.
10 [Report This]Date: November 23, 2006 02:23 am Title: Chapter 1
"and she felt like all of the air had been let out of her and she wondered if Bob Vance had that sort of air pump" - that line, right there? That's what we call a ringer. Wow.
Allover great, really.
10 [Report This]Date: November 22, 2006 10:33 pm Title: Chapter 1
Ay yi yi! Just realized I read this thinking you were nqllisi - sorry, unfold! Gorgeous stuff.
10 [Report This]Date: November 22, 2006 10:29 pm Title: Chapter 1
Loving the angst!
So she goes back to an old favorite, just applies a little bit more.
Go, Pam. And, nq, I could see Jim eating that pizza, staring at the cabinets, then leaning on the counter.
We already knew this, but drabble suit you nicely :)
10 [Report This]Date: November 22, 2006 08:00 pm Title: Chapter 1
It’s four and half, the half for the time she cried in the parking lot because she was sure she wouldn’t be able to make it to the bathroom and she felt like all of the air had been let out of her and she wondered if Bob Vance had that sort of air pump.
I thought this was so beautiful and sad. The whole thing was, actually. It was so real.
10 [Report This]Date: November 22, 2006 07:24 pm Title: Chapter 1
I don't mind the angst. This was really really good. Last week left me with a big hollow pain in my stomach. This kinda rehashes it -- but it a good way! ;) Thansk for sharing a great story! ;)
Date: November 22, 2006 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 1
My God. This: with someone who hasn’t seen him leak until he’s empty. (Hands on backs and all that.) totally broke my heart.
And this: she felt like all of the air had been let out of her and she wondered if Bob Vance had that sort of air pump.
Holy cow! So many great lines.
He watches them line up, one after another, like days and has to stop for a moment before he can start on his ties.
I had to stop for a moment, too, because I felt this so strongly.
Just eats it while standing at the kitchen counter, staring at the doors to the cabinets.
This is such a great image, I can almost hear him chewing.
Great job!
Date: November 22, 2006 06:50 pm Title: Chapter 1
Love how Jim hurries through his 'date' to check his phone. That fickle phone....
Oh, the angst! Don't those evil writers know that we have to feel it too? At least Pam & Jim are fictional characters -- what are the rest of us supposed to do? Oh, that's right, write and read fanfic....
10 [Report This]Date: November 22, 2006 06:04 pm Title: Chapter 1
I love how Pam's hopefullness the night before contrasts with Jim's nausea...and how they both feel the same (waiting for a phone that doesn't ring) the night after.