10 [Report This]Date: December 17, 2011 08:43 pm Title: Chapter 3
You said this was your first foray into writing hardcore smut. Might I say you did it wonderfully? :)
10 [Report This]Date: April 22, 2007 06:14 am Title: Chapter 1
I'm only just getting into Office fandom, so I'm discovering a lot of stories from the past. It seems you've abandoned this one, but I sincerely hope not--I think it's not only one of your best, but one of the best JAM stories I've read. You capture the dynamic between them so perfectly, with spot-on dialogue. I love how you make the moments between them both sexy and sweetly funny.
Date: December 13, 2006 01:27 am Title: Chapter 3
Do not fear the smut, girl7, for you are a virtuoso! In character and on the livingroom floor! Nice! I love how the sex wasn't the end of the chapter, because what makes Jim and Pam so wonderful are the little moments of banter, and what you've written suits them perfectly.
9 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 11:38 pm Title: Chapter 3
This was so fantastic! There are two things I wanted to comment on:
1) that moment you've written where Pam knows she has to say something because Jim's about to walk out on her really brought me back to the parking lot scene when Pam doesn't give in response to Jim's comment about the awkwardness. Lots of people on TWOP say that Pam's "playing dumb" to make Jim initiate the conversation. Anyway, I was really scared in your story that that scene would replay itself! How weird is that? This is a longwinded way of saying that you've captured their dynamic so well that I felt the way I did watching the parking lot scene. Thankfully your story ends better!
2) your post-sex, in the bed dialogue (love the knees creaking thing - totally a weird bed-time conversation!) - okay, so the staying up until 4am, sleeping, etc. part reminds me of all the "little moments" Pam and Jim haven't had. There is a weird moment when you've hooked up with someone you have strong feelings for that's a sweet "what now?"/"there's so much I don't know about you" moment. I'm not describing it well but I think you've captured it here.
Long winded review! whew, I'm done ;)
9 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 07:13 pm Title: Chapter 3
This was excellent! First class smut and beautiful rapport between Jim and Pam.
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 04:30 pm Title: Chapter 3
I'm reviewing this chapter again, because I'm more coherent now, and I wanted to say that what I really loved about this chapter was that even though I have absolutely zero personal experience, I thought the sex in this chapter seemed so real. It wasn't "perfect" like what a lot of people seem to want to write in fanfic. I mean, it wasn't clumsy or anything either, it was just... real. For some reason, my favorite part was actually when Jim tells her she feels so good, and she responds in kind and then arches her back and lets out a little noise and he pulls back for a second and asks if she's okay. Now in a lot of other fics, I think that would be a Jim-reading-her-mind kind of moment where he doesn't have to ask what her little yelp was about, but it seemed so much more real this way that she would be overwhelmed with the sensation and suddenly verbalize it, and Jim would just want to make sure he wasn't hurting her or something.
Anyway, brava again!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, PuffingNoise, for taking the time to do this - I really appreciate such specific feedback about what works and what doesn't (particularly when it comes to writing sex scenes). I'm so relieved that it came off as real, because that is what I was going for with it. So again - thanks for taking the time to review (again)!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 11:19 am Title: Chapter 3
wow...wow...see you're freaking killing me with 'Ice' and then this gorgeous little gem of jam angst/fluff/smut...ahh i love you're stuff girl7 absolutly i do! and i just want to say i was one of the people who read all of you're first epic and i just want to say wow that was good and you've come a long way to an even greater place....
Okay so how about i review this, this was simply so good, the voices are so spot on! I can really see them sitting there: double talking head about dawsons creek, that i thought was a high point but then this, you've really captured Pam here, in the inability to verbalize what she needs to say. and gotta say i thought the whole not talking but going at it on the living room floor is a definite senario, sometimes you have to get that tension out in order to talk. then the conversation was so spot on, i thought Jim definitly sounded like Jim during the little fluff nugget at the end with the tooth brushes! Ugh so very very good....
anyway you need to stop reading this so you can go write more...because i think i'm addicted to you're fic girl7
PS-I'm a dork so i looked up the lyrics to song/title, and umm i'm so glad you've incorpotrated the I want to be inside you line....and i got shivers just typing that....guess its time for the reread....
Author's Response:
My god, what a sweet review - thank you so much for all the feedback! (And thank you for having the patience to make it all the way through "What Happens Tomorrow" as well.)
And you know, I didn't really think about it, but you're right - sometimes you do need to get the tension out before you can move forward and really talk things out.
Also glad you looked up the lyrics - I really wanted to post them all, because they're so sparse yet direct, but I think the consensus tends to be that oversaturating fics with lyrics isn't a good idea (and I've been guilty of that in the past). So I'm glad you read the rest of them. The song itself is also gorgeous - Michael Hutchence was simply the epitome of sensuality. Sigh. :o)
Thanks for the review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 10:27 am Title: Chapter 3
Excellent chapter and there could never be enough smut concerning Jim/Pam since we are so lacking it on the show.
Author's Response: I totally agree, gothkona; sometimes it almost pains me to realize that when they finally do get together (because they totally will), we'll only see limited glimpses of the good stuff. Then again, given how sexy that relatively chaste kiss was on Casino Night.... Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 10:00 am Title: Chapter 3
Yowza! Yeah. It should totally happen like that.
Wonderful job Ms girl7. Smuttiness absolutely suits you.
Um...that's meant to be a compliment - ;)
Author's Response: "Smuttiness absolutely suits you." Heh! I think you'll get what I'm saying when I tell you that for me it has been sort of a toe in the water kind of thing; I remember when I was too shy to get into any detail at all, then gradually started getting bolder and bolder and bolder. :o) I'm really glad you liked this, though! Thanks for the review --
8 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 10:00 am Title: Chapter 3
She’d had a glimpse of what true candor was like
Ooo. Shiver. Good line.
she’d known without question that this was going to happen
That moment is ...just...so....erotic.
right now, she didn’t want words; there would be time for words after.
Well, you know I'm definitely in the "they don't really need that conversation" camp, so I was all kinds of delighted to read this.
she was on top of him, her hair a curtain over their faces.
Spectacular image! Well done.
he knew what he was about to do to her…and it would be good
Whoa. I needed a cigarette after that sentence!
It was like slaking a horrible thirst, this; the words like water rushing through him, bringing almost instant relief.
Wow. I hadn't thought of this angle before, but yeah. Jim is a talker; he likes conversation. Not being able to speak of the one thing most important to him for three years drove him nuts; now he finally is free to say whatever he needs to. It would be a real relief for him. Good insight!
it had felt good to just keep moving; sitting still meant giving in to the panic, the ache.
Oh, god, that hurts to read. So real. So painful. So Jim.
you’re naked; I’m naked. I don’t think things can get much more okay than this
Oh, that Jim. Such a guy--so simple, so adorable. I love that line.
She knew she'd see that image every time she looked across at him at work later;
And not get one bit of work done for, oh, a month. Who could focus with that in front of her?
Well, I must congratulate you on smut well done. Except it wasn't smutty at all. It was erotic and loving and warm and totally believable. These two would never do anything so conventional as have sex for the first time in a bed. The living room floor even seems too tame, but I loved it anyway. Thanks for a well done story.
Author's Response: I had a recordbreakingly rotten day (spent all day at the E.R. with my great aunt), and then I came home to your review, and it just made me feel so good. Thanks for taking so much time with it and for giving such specific feedback. And getting the thumbs up on my smut from you is really high praise, as I think you do it so well!
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 10:38 pm Title: Chapter 3
::sigh:: that was great. FINALLY!!!! I was getting so angry with her! lol. I loved it when she finally just blurted "I think we could be great together!" and the images you created....her hair creating a curtain around them - I loved that too. Please say this isn't over!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! It isn't over, but I think there's only one more chapter yet - the morning after at the office. I'd love to write it in more of an episode style, but I don't know that I can pull it off. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: December 11, 2006 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 3
Holy Halpert that was an amazing chapter! I particularly liked how you explored Pam not being so "fancy" and having her continue to be insecure and battle her doubts, finally realizing that the rejection she is fearing is exactly what Jim went through.
At first, it seemed a bit off that they jumped straight into bed (or 'floor' as the case may be), but as their conversation unfolded afterward, it made much more sense to me and I really appreciated that you imagined a different scenario for how they reconcile than we have read previously.
BTW -- I think 'playing Yahtzee' is the new euphemism for JamSex...
Author's Response:
Heh, lisahoo - someone once suggested we do a chart of how the length of time before Jim and Pam get down to business (so to speak) has steadily increased from my first fic. (This was back before I was blathering on and posting a new fic every week.) Anyhoo, I went from eleven weeks to fifteen minutes! It's my opinion that they probably wouldn't jump right into bed with each other, even though they've got such chemistry. Because I think there'll be an awkward (yet wonderful) transitional period. And Yahtzee as a sex euphemism - heee! Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 08:21 pm Title: Chapter 3
"When you asked me if I was really going to marry him, I remember feeling so completely miserable that I had to say yes. It’s like that was the very first time that I realized that I actually didn’t want to marry Roy."
That may be one of the best explanations I ever heard. Great job!
Author's Response:
Thanks so much - that was just one of those weird lines that came out when I wasn't really thinking about it. But I imagine it would have to be an unhappy moment for her to turn Jim away for Roy, you know? Ugh.
Thanks for reviewing!
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 08:21 pm Title: Chapter 3
WOW, that was so hot. Such a sweet, sexy chapter.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it, PuffingNoise - and I loved your latest, BTW!
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 08:12 pm Title: Chapter 3
delicious. and not just the smut... the whole build of the story was impeccable. and pam blurting out "wanna play yahtzee" instead of what she really wants to say is probably one of the most honest, most real, most canon-worthy things i've read in a LOOONG time. bravo.
ps: to me, there was nothing sexier than jim making sure she could come... just... AGH. it's times like these that i NEED my very own jim halpert.
Author's Response:
Okay, you could not give me a higher compliment than telling me this was realistic - so thank you! That's actually what I was going for - the kind of understated way situations like this often unfold, totally unlike the way we imagine them. I also think it'll take a lot of time for Pam to undo years of self-doubt, not to mention the whole Karen thing. So I really wanted to couch this in the context of her tendency to hide behind an almost adolescent friendship.
Thanks so much for taking the time to review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 07:43 pm Title: Chapter 3
Aggressive Pam. Dead sexy Jim. All the elements for a lovely evening read! Now, I seem to recall reading some fine smut by you before...but this did have a particular zing. When she asks him to tell her what he's thinking, and he asks if she can handle it...then his answer. Swelteringly hot. And how sweet is their dialogue afterwards? Just delicious, that's all.
Author's Response:
Ah, my faithful reviewer. :o) Glad you enjoyed it - don't know why writing smut gives me pause sometimes; it really mystifies me, actually. I think (or rather, I know it has a lot to do with the fact that these aren't my characters originally, so sometimes when I write the smuttier stuff, I feel like I'm violating them in some way.
Then I get over it and write anyway. ;o)
Thanks - as always - for reviewing!
And, um, where's your latest chapter of Inevitable? Because I seem to recall you suggesting there might be more....
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 1
You've done it again, Girl 7!
"Okay then." His gaze lowered from her eyes to her lips, then back again., his voice low and gravelly as he said, never losing eye contact: "I want to be inside you."
Gave me goosebumps. This may rival the last few smutty chapters of "What Happens Tomorrow"!!!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much, amyryd! That was one of the lines that gave me pause - like, Will this come off as squicky? So hearing your endorsement of it (heh) is really a relief. :o)
Thanks so much for taking the time to review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 07:23 pm Title: Chapter 3
Lovely - you managed the smut just fine, my girl! I knew you had it in you.:-D
Author's Response: Thank you, Moxie! BTW: Know how I'm spending my morning tomorrow? Catching up on all I had to miss of Distance Learning. Oh yes - I'm planning my life around fanfic! (And I should thank you for giving me something to look forward to...)
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 1
Great beginning. I love the last few lines, especially - "To her, it was fate, pure and simple."
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! You're such a consistent reviewer, and I have to say, that means so much - makes writing that much more fun. :o)
10 [Report This]Date: December 11, 2006 07:06 pm Title: Chapter 3
1. Why the hell is Deal or No Deal even on the air?
2. Anytime Jim backs anyone up against a wall...good.
3. Anytime anyone's sentences cannot be finished, or don't make sense...good
4. Jim getting to touch Pam's hair...sweet and good.
5. You writing smut...priceless.
You rock. Period.
Author's Response: Okay - most awesome review ever. ;O) (Although the story you told on TWoP was pretty damned hilarious!) Thanks for taking the time to point out the specific stuff you liked; it's really terrific to get such thoughtful feedback. :o)
Date: December 11, 2006 06:39 pm Title: Chapter 3
Okay, haven't even read it yet, but if it's really smuttier than anything you've ever written, I am very excited. Very.
Author's Response: Heh heh heh. ;o)
10 [Report This]Date: December 07, 2006 07:20 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is so good - I want more!!!
Author's Response: It's on the way! Thanks for reviewing!
Date: December 07, 2006 06:19 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is excellent! Continue...
Author's Response: Thanks so much - done and done, BTW!
Date: December 07, 2006 06:18 pm Title: Chapter 2
This is excellent! Continue...
Date: December 06, 2006 10:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
I do so LOVE this story and it's only on chapter 2. In the first chapter you just seemed so incredibly aware of their voices - I mean that Talking Head was priceless! Then in chapter two just the both of being so afraid of messing things up and getting into the same predicament they got into before...and the quiet trepidation at her apartment.....I just love it. Please keep up the good work.
Author's Response:
I so appreciate your taking the time to write such a thoughtful review - glad you liked it! BTW, am looking forward to reading your stuff tomorrow. (I just moved, so I've been forced to resist the fanfic for weeks and weeks...)
Thanks again!