10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm just blown away. This was amazing!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 04:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
1) This is amazingly well written.
2) Architecture in Helsinki! Yay! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Office fans tend to have amazing taste in music.
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 03:02 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow! This has some really wonderful characterization. A lot of writers tend to exagerate (sp?) the voice of the characters (you know, making dwight a little too crazy...if that is possible) but you captured it perfectly. I especially like Karen, Jim, and Michale's. Terrific!
Date: December 12, 2006 02:15 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow, you just captured everyone in a little moment so well. I noticed they were mostly moments when they weren't interacting and jsut being reflective, and you depicted their thoughts so well. Well done!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 12:12 pm Title: Chapter 1
This was simply amazing. You captured each character so precisely, and still the story itself has a kind of flow, where all these incredibly different lives seem to come together as a coherent whole. A sad, beautiful whole.
You really nailed this one.
(That's what...oh, nevermind.)
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 11:03 am Title: Chapter 1
Fantastic job. I find ensemble pieces so difficult to write myself but you nailed each and every one of the characters. The voices are perfect. Thanks so much for sharing.
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 09:03 am Title: Chapter 1
I love it. I love reading about the "outside" life of our office staff that we never get to see. Please write more like this.
Also: a side note, I loved the bit about Karen and the music and how she just doesn't "get it" but she's trying so hard to fit into what she thinks he wants; I can't tell you how many times I've done that before and every time I did that it was wrong; the person was just wrong, and I think that's the best way to sort of explain why Karen is just not right for Jim, you know? It's endearing that she's trying so hard to impress Jim of all people. That's what really funny and interesting about that bit. We, as the viewer, always had this perception of Jim as this slacker, laid-back, easy-going kind of guy, not some indie hipster with a taste for the eccentric and unattainable - but to Karen, who doesn't know him the way we do, she feels like she has to try to impress and/or "fit in" to his scene, which... I don't know, I just think that's so funny. I loved that bit.
Man, I liked them all. Please write more!!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 08:19 am Title: Chapter 1
Every line of this was so amazingly in character. This line is pretty much the most perfect way to describe Michael: "...and in the absence of people he feels strangely listless..."
And there's so much subtlety in this, too. The little details like Jim going all in on a bad hand in online poker. Or Jan moving out of the way for the cleaning lady. Just all of these little things that add so much depth to each vignette.
Great job.
Date: December 12, 2006 06:49 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow. Just - wow.
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 06:09 am Title: Chapter 1
That was dead on with how I would picture everyone's lives away from DM. I like how Angela "found" the rosemary in her purse, Michael gets his jokes from AFHV (Saget version) and Karen doesn't seem to get Jim. Wonderful writing.
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 05:57 am Title: Chapter 1
Oooh, I loved these!! They're all so true to character.
And oh man, in Michael's section with the "America's Funniest Home Videos" where the little kid asks his mom to kiss his butt, I totally remember seeing that one when I was like, 10 years old and thinking it was hilarious! lol.
I loved that you saved Jim and Pam for last, that they both did the same thing when getting messages from each other- looked at it once, put it down, and then read it again. And I'm a little confused, though- at first, I thought Jim had actually texted Pam first, she answered him as Karen pulled into the driveway, and then he replied to her as he was walking out the door. But when I noticed that in Pam's section, it was 1 AM when she got Jim's message, so did Pam text him first, and then he didn't finish texting her until after the concert?
Also, despite the awesomeness of this story, I did notice that there are some dropped words, or extra words in some places that make some sentences confusing.
Author's Response:
Thanks! I really do need to find someone to read these before I put them up -- it's a cliche but it's true that it's really hard to edit your own work.
As for the chronology of the texts, yeah, it was that Pam texted him first, saying she had a new prank, and Jim didn't respond until they were leaving the concert.
My e-mail is listed in my author profile -- please, e-mail me with the dropped/repeated words, so I can clean it up. Thanks again!
9 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 05:47 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow. I really like this. The little glimpses are fantastic; I love Angela's, and Kelly's and Jim's and, I lie, I love them all.
Amazing.
9 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 05:34 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, another fantastic piece! I am a firm believer that ensemble fics are the hardest ones to do, but you make it seem so effortless! All of the voices are spot on, and I have to say, I have a soft spot for Stanley so I'm glad he's who you led with. I also enjoyed how the Angela/Dwight and Ryan/Kelly stories connected. Terrific job!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 05:00 am Title: Chapter 1
This is simply amazing, just incredible. You've done the impossible here: captured so many voices in one fic, with not a false note in any of your vignettes. On top of that, your prose reads like poetry. That last line? Gorgeous. Honestly, I could go on and on about this; it's just amazing.
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 03:32 am Title: Chapter 1
You nailed each of the characters so clearly. Too many lines/touches to list, but I found myself thinking 'yes!' like ten times as I read. I especially love how Kelly's section takes on her voice - long rambling sentences, then the short succinct one (Ryan's hand) that stops her cold. Also like how you've interconnected the bits on the related characters. Really well done.
9 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 02:04 am Title: Chapter 1
klepto Angela - what a great detail!
and dials China. priceless.
Michael's inspiration is AFV and Bob Saget. Kiss his BUTT!
Jurassic beet farm. Best. Line. Yet.
Loved it!
10 [Report This]Date: December 12, 2006 01:05 am Title: Chapter 1
Dude, it is SO sweet that you mentioned Architecture in Helsinki, and of course that's where your title comes from. Too cool.
She is never startled by him.
I love that line. Says so much about Angela.
I love Jim and Pam texting one another at all hours. That's so ... Mulder and Scully of them.
And of course the Jurassic beet farm idea is just solid gold genius. I envy anyone who can come up with ideas like that, or your lovely last line. Thanks for all of this.
Date: December 12, 2006 12:22 am Title: Chapter 1
I read this whole thing with my mouth hanging open. Every line is perfectly in character. I couldn't begin to list all my favourites here, but the last line was so, so, perfect and hopeful. Amazing.