10 [Report This]Date: October 16, 2009 05:37 pm Title: Chapter 1
I'm so glad that this story was on "Story of the Moment" on the fanfic archive home since I would have missed it entirely.
This alternate ending to "Benihana Christmas" is just perfect since it ended with Jim and Pam together...in bed :D I loved how you wrote this, starting with the "In a rush of weakness..." and expanded on how Jim and Pam spend the whole night with each other.
And this ending: "And it’s not so much a weakness anymore."....so perfect!
Date: September 25, 2007 03:42 pm Title: Chapter 1
Gosh, I'm freakin' running out of good things to say about your writing. Why can't you write something poor, or something, so, so... yeah, I GUESS I don't want that.
Excelent work, though! Too short ;_; And I think if anything I'm noticing a reticence to really go for that 'explicit' warning, which is fine, especially because it comes out so nice and poetic like.
But seriously, you can do it if you want. And you know that the people want.
Why do I feel like doing a David Brent face right now? Ah.
9 [Report This]Date: January 03, 2007 08:54 am Title: Chapter 1
Because like the yellow line at his feet, there are boundaries and lines not to be crossed.
This is gorgeous. Nice work :)
Date: December 26, 2006 12:57 pm Title: Chapter 1
And he thinks nothing ever felt this good and this right.
What a beautiful line. Loved it.
Date: December 25, 2006 07:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I just ... gah. I really like the song title that you chose for the title of this story. Not usually a songfic kinda-gal but your choices were great and sparsely placed and it worked, and I give you credit for that. And I just love watching the story progress ... first the parking lot ... then "coffee" ... then hanging out ... and, man, I felt my stomach go weak when he pulled her close because I just knew that was it. *sigh*
Date: December 24, 2006 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
I've never heard this song, but just reading the words makes me realize how perfectly it fits with the story. I love how their relationship progresses here, what a sweet wonderful ending and the last line is just perfect.
Date: December 21, 2006 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 1
Woooo!! I'm totally taking the hotness of the last section as a shout-out to me, to meeee, and my obsessive "position" discussions on the fanfic thread!!
Ahem.
Got a little giddy there. This line is terrific:
Because he’s not engaged but he is spoken for and she’s single but she still talks in circles and he’s not willing to do that dance anymore.
Author's Response:
It's too funny because I actually wrote this mere hours before the position discussions started on the fanfic thread. And I was laughing as I was reading because I agreed with missionary probably being their position their first time, but it's my story and I think Jim would want to be able to get a good look at her.
Heehee...thanks for the review!
Date: December 21, 2006 10:50 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, another great one. I loved the little details like Jim noticing that Pam's eyelids shimmer. It's those little touches that bring such warmth to your fic.
Speaking of, are you going to update "Intentions"? One of my favorites and it's been hanging there for awhile!
Author's Response:
Thanks! I don't know when I'll get to "Intentions," hopefully over my Christmas vacation I'll get to update it. I read over it yesterday and I just felt so "blah" about it, but we'll see!
Thanks for the review!
Date: December 21, 2006 08:46 am Title: Chapter 1
I thought it was beautiful. It just felt slow and sweet. I'm really not a fan of lyrics in stories nor do I know this song, but I thought it really worked well in pacing the story. I think you found the perfect last line.
Author's Response:
Thanks, MA...to be honest this is the first fic where I've incorporated lyrics, but the song was just too perfect and it really inspired me.
Thanks for the awesome review!
10 [Report This]Date: December 21, 2006 06:48 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow, I loved this. Wonderful job!
And as soon as I saw the title, I started singing that song you used. Now it's stuck in my head. ;o)
Author's Response: Haha...trust me, after writing this, the song was stuck in my head all night until this morning.
Date: December 21, 2006 05:04 am Title: Chapter 1
I like how you go from Jim not being willing to do that dance anymore (well put!) to his realization that his feelings for her aren't going to go away and really aren't about weakness at all. By the time he thinks nothing ever felt this good and this right you've made his transformation clear, in a really subtle, poignant way. Very, very nice.
Author's Response:
Thanks Colette. My interpretation of Jim is just that, that his feelings aren't going to disappear simply because he moves or finds a new girlfriend and he's now coming to the realization of that.
Thanks so much for reviewing!
Date: December 21, 2006 01:52 am Title: Chapter 1
This is beautiful. It was actually hard to pick a favourite moment, because they all flow together so well. I'm going to have to choose: He thinks about times where he’d tried to explain to other people what it was about her but he could never put it into good enough words where anyone would understand. Because, it doesn’t really make sense when you say that the girl you love is so completely amazing because she never tries to do things. I liked this because it's so real, he doesn't think "Oh, she's the most beautiful ever. For instance, when he tries to tell Michael why he likes Pam, it's hard to explain to an outsider.
Also, when I recognized the lyrics, I put The Walk on while I read and got shivers. Great choice. Imogen is a really great artist to write to, I completely credit her music for my fic Hide and Seek.
Anyway, amazing job.
Author's Response:
Thanks! I think that's why I love Jim and Pam so much. There's nothing about her that a normal guy would be impressed with but yet he is, and it just makes no sense and perfect sense all at once. Arrgh! 15 more days!
I love, love, love Imogen Heap, and the lyrics of this song seemed to fit in so many ways. The context of the song may be a little different, but the parts that I included in the story seemed to really speak to me as something Jim would be feeling.
Thanks again for the awesome review!
Date: December 20, 2006 11:05 pm Title: Chapter 1
she’s single but she still talks in circles and he’s not willing to do that dance anymore.
Well put!
there’s yearning, and hunger, so much hunger
Yummy line!
Pam’s hand nestled in the soft hair of Jim’s chest
oooo what a lovely image.
Thanks for all of this.
Author's Response: Thank you, nej. I had to bring the chest hair into the story one way or another.
10 [Report This]Date: December 20, 2006 10:35 pm Title: Chapter 1
If I could leave a coherant review, I would.
But I cannot. And so I drool and babble and sacrifice to you on the alter of awesome. You = win = YAY.
Author's Response: Heehee...thanks fireworkfiasco. I'm glad you liked it. I think this is my first story where Jim and Pam actually get together. It's hard not to get carried away in the moment!
Date: December 20, 2006 10:27 pm Title: Chapter 1
Really great story! I loved the progression, it flowed very nicely.
Author's Response: Thank you! I really appreciate the review.
Date: December 20, 2006 10:26 pm Title: Chapter 1
WOW. Absolutely my favorite Imogen Heap song, and it works so well for this story...I can completely see that happening.
Wishful thinking, yeah?
That, and it was INCREDIBLY hot. ;)
Author's Response: This song has been on repeat for me for so long. And it may be wishful thinking but I can imagine that when Jim and Pam finally do get together it will be nothing but hot. LOL...thanks for the review!
Date: December 20, 2006 10:22 pm Title: Chapter 1
whew! That was hot! I loved it!
Author's Response: Yay! Thanks for reading!