Date: January 05, 2007 08:33 pm Title: Chapter 3
This is really well written, but I just find the whole "giant angry fight" premise to be pretty OOC.
Date: January 05, 2007 08:05 pm Title: Chapter 4
Wow, I love Karen calling him "Jekell and Hyde," there is definitely something "off" about Jim, and I could really see Karen getting it. I like that about her -- she's not stupid; she gets it; and she doesn't beat around the bush. Pam and Karen's approaches to life are like oil and water, and ... yeah. Man, I can't wait for what comes next. OOOOOOHHH.
Date: January 05, 2007 08:04 pm Title: Chapter 4
You are really working this symbiotic LC Pam/LC Jim thing to great effect. And then some. I like how efficiently you dispensed with Karen too. And Pam thinking about Jim in the tub...well, who wouldn't? Looking forward to their next confrontation and to Pam in the driver's seat (I think that's where you said you were headed.) Still at your mercy here...
10 [Report This]Date: January 05, 2007 07:44 pm Title: Chapter 3
excellent, just excellent - even if Pam ran away.... :-)
Date: January 05, 2007 07:36 pm Title: Chapter 4
Ooh nice job with this one (although I was hoping that it was Pam ringing the doorbell, hehe). The Jim/Karen breakup was very realistic, just excellent.
Could you by any chance link me to this picture??
Date: January 05, 2007 07:32 pm Title: Chapter 4
Ooh, another nominee for 'best Jim/Karen breakup scene'!! And you are definitely covering new ground with Pam's thoughts on LC Jim -- and her tentative grip on her own self-control. I'm happy to see that all the recent discussion of Scruffy!Jim and LC!Jim is being put to good use ;o)
8 [Report This]Date: January 05, 2007 02:02 pm Title: Chapter 3
Pam, Pam, articulate! So close...
The emotions here are good - anger, disgust, contempt, disbelief. I like Jim willfully not hurrying to please her. And yay for brave Pam, and for her not allowing revenge sex.
I wonder where this will go?
And also: Fangirl!Shan thanks you for Teh Scruff. Damn.
8 [Report This]Date: January 05, 2007 01:26 pm Title: Chapter 2
Nice - the displacement of emotion, and yet an undeniable attraction to Roy. How tough to love one person and not be able to break cleanly free of the last one. Good dialogue here, too.
8 [Report This]Date: January 05, 2007 11:55 am Title: Chapter 1
Nice - I'm interested to see where you take this. Love that he's almost trying to drown out the noise of Pam's words with frantic sex (yes, please?).
Some (hopefully) constructive criticism: you have Jim feeling the beginnings of rage for the first time in 2 different paragraphs (3 + 10) and settings. Also, maybe introduce those feelings as anger, and let them build to rage.
Date: January 05, 2007 12:57 am Title: Chapter 3
You have to come back and write more. OMG OMG. I seriously am hyperventilating. That was simply amazing. Totally and utterly amazing.
Please come back and write more of this awesome stuff. Please tell me there is more because I could seriously scream very loudly if you tell me that this was it. That cannot be it.
Oh and great job by the way.
Date: January 04, 2007 11:29 pm Title: Chapter 3
wow girl7 - I have to admit that I was afraid that this was veering into typical Harlequin romance fare. I was enjoying it immensely until the moment when Pam says 'no' to Jim and he doesn't stop because deep down she really wants it. I'm SO glad you ultimately pulled these two apart because I didn't want to see them going down that road. I'm looking forward to the next chapter to see how this goes. But, I freakin' loved the sexual tension bordering on anger tinged with desperation and hurt.
Date: January 04, 2007 08:59 pm Title: Chapter 3
Wow. Just, wow. How do you do that??? Usually I find scruffyANDdrunk!Jim to be obnoxious but that was just...awesome. Talk about diving into the Jam psyche. Wow. Please continue this!**begs**
Date: January 04, 2007 08:37 pm Title: Chapter 3
I'm so sickeningly in love with this story. Drunk, scruffy, angry Jim! Oh. So hot and cathartic and painful all at once. Well done.
Date: January 04, 2007 07:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
Angry bitter Jim is hot.
He keeps putting it on the line and Pam just keeps pulling back. I wish she'd let it go and take what's hers.
Date: January 04, 2007 04:07 pm Title: Chapter 3
Oh my, you're fucking brilliant. Please, plase, PLEASE, update asap!!!
Date: January 04, 2007 03:53 pm Title: Chapter 1
I've been wanting to see a fight like this! Nicely done.
Date: January 04, 2007 03:23 pm Title: Chapter 3
"I'm done with this."
Omg. omg. *squee*
SO hot and anguished and desperate. Poor Jim. Oh, poor Jim.
And he is SO not done with this. Not by a long shot.
Date: January 04, 2007 03:13 pm Title: Chapter 3
Oh, man, I read that whole thing with my hand over my mouth, leaning towards the screen. This was an excellent manifestation of all the anger growing between them.
Date: January 04, 2007 03:04 pm Title: Chapter 3
Thank for writing them angry at each other. I honestly need them to finally see them fight to clear up the air, because all the unsaid has become such a cancer between them.
Date: January 04, 2007 03:00 pm Title: Chapter 2
but had anyone tried to treat the mark before it became a stain? Oh, Pam, if only you'd tried to get the stain out sooner, you could be hainvg sex with Jim, instead. I like Pam's scattered thoughts here, how she's still finding substitutes for her real problems so she won't have to think about them.
9 [Report This]Date: January 04, 2007 02:49 pm Title: Chapter 3
I like the anger you've brought into this; it will make everything come out into the open and eventually clear the air...right? I have faith in you for a happy ending.
Date: January 04, 2007 02:34 pm Title: Chapter 3
Okay, you. Smoking - inhaling and everything. I am SO ready for the next update (do you seriously need to sleep? Sacrifices must be made for art, after all.) Please tell me that LC Pam will have her way with Jim (with totally consensual overtones, of course!) Is it wrong that I want to see her loss of control trigger his loss of control...and then all hell breaking loose? I remain putty in your hands....
Date: January 04, 2007 02:00 pm Title: Chapter 3
Okay, I know I just reviewed but I just had to re-read their whole dialogue. I love that Pam came over with the pretense that Jim would be all submissive and apologetic and then he totally surprises her by getting angry. Favorite line I think? "Don't push me."
Again: So. Frickin. Hot.
Am I creeping you out yet? Alright, I'll stop. hehe.
Date: January 04, 2007 01:58 pm Title: Chapter 3
wow. That was so incredibly intense. I can't WAIT to see angry Pam!
Date: January 04, 2007 01:46 pm Title: Chapter 3
Phew, wow, really. That was... so hot. haha. Is that wrong of me? The way you wrote Jim in this was amazing. Please please more angry Jim!