Date: July 11, 2007 05:39 pm Title: Chapter 1
So descriptive, and this line... There are traces of him everywhere, yet he’s never really here.
So amazing.
9 [Report This]Date: February 25, 2007 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 1
This is why you're one of my favourites: the ability to make something so short say so much.
10 [Report This]Date: January 17, 2007 11:02 am Title: Chapter 1
Wow. I love this.
Date: January 17, 2007 09:22 am Title: Chapter 1
He's walking away and he was never really there. Sorry, Karen.
Your details here are lovely, as usual. The warm water on her skin, the syrup sticking to the plate...just wonderful.
Date: January 17, 2007 12:39 am Title: Chapter 1
very short and sweet
love it
Date: January 16, 2007 08:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh, much love to you for writing Karen--and writing Karen so beautifully. The whole story was so evocative. You really managed to capture exactly what you were going for: the feeling/not-feeling of Jim's (non) presence. Really lovely. Oh, Karen.
9 [Report This]Date: January 16, 2007 08:33 pm Title: Chapter 1
What a sad but meaningful look into their relationship as of right now -- really, I just find everything about Karen interesting because there are so many ways her character could go and so much we don't see of her. The imagery and sensory detail you have in this short piece is great -- the sun coming through the window, the water over her hands, the sound of his shoes on the sidewalk (nice alliteration, by the way!). It's an excellent ending line because it continues with the sensory detail but it's obviously an excellent metaphor as well; you don't mention whether his footsteps are coming forward or receding, but that could be because you want to leave it up to the reader to decide, or because Karen might not be too sure whether he's coming or going either (emotionally, I mean, not physically).
Lovely job with this, as always.
9 [Report This]Date: January 16, 2007 08:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
Gah - this is really atmospheric - you can almost feel the lingering warmth of him. And that even when he's present, he isn't present? Exactly. Karen's in for some pain, I'm afraid.