Date: February 14, 2008 12:21 pm Title: Electrical Storm
Aww, very cute! I'm glad they're back to normal. That was really sweet. =)
Date: February 23, 2007 10:40 pm Title: Electrical Storm
That was very sweet. I thought the dialogue was right on, vague but meaningful, like their relationship. Great job.
9 [Report This]Date: February 10, 2007 01:43 am Title: Electrical Storm
I like how slowly they are getting together, its not like one day they become completely different people and stop avoiding things. It is very realistic, great job!
Author's Response: Thanks!
Date: February 09, 2007 11:04 pm Title: Electrical Storm
Great job on the tension. Crackle, crackle. And I really like how you ended it nicely without "Then Jim and Pam Do It." It's hopeful and fiery and sweet all at the same time.
Author's Response: I was worried I was playing it too tensiony so thanks!
9 [Report This]Date: February 09, 2007 09:55 pm Title: Electrical Storm
" "It wasn't just a kiss."
"I know," she said, her voice barely above a whisper."
I loved that part. Gave me chills (the good kind).
Author's Response: Thanks!
9 [Report This]Date: February 09, 2007 07:21 pm Title: Electrical Storm
Noooooooooo! Please say it isn't over...?
First: "Electrical Storm" is just a chilling, haunting song - every time I listen to it, I want to write. Sigh.
Second: Gah, what I loved most about this chapter was how seamless and natural it was when they finally...shed all pretenses. It's sort of second nature to envision such a moment happening in the midst of a dramatic flourish, but based on what we know of this show (and its commitment to realism), I really see it playing out more like the way you've written it here - a calm, understated, unobtrusive moment that we don't see coming.
I really enjoyed this, sharky!
Author's Response: It's over, I'm sorry. I just can't do any better than that finish. But thanks for asking! And yeah, I was worried it would be too calm so glad you thought it was good.
Date: February 09, 2007 02:25 pm Title: Electrical Storm
YES!!!!
They gave in!!!!
And how was it that you managed to make a conversation about jumper cables so incredibly sexy? Because, really, the metaphor is perfect.
Thanks!
cheers.
--Lex
Author's Response: And I didn't even think about the jumper cable metaphor! Wow, I'm either a really bad writer or a really good. Thanks for noticing that.
Date: February 09, 2007 02:11 pm Title: Electrical Storm
Well, I'm a big angst puppy, so I definately loved chapter one. And those tiny, little gems - such as her shoes, her not trying to steal Phyllis's thunder and above all - the "it wasn't just a kiss, you bastard" angry throw - they showed how much the quality of a story depends on the details. I kinda missed that steam and emotional rush in the next two chapters though. Karen being promoted and soooo easily out of the picture - it doesn't really appeal to me. I did however like how Pam and Jim still couldn't/wouldn't even try to communicate even after Karen left. Are you going to continue? I would definately love to see how they start the actual relationship. Somethings seems to be unsaid in the last chapter, it looks like it was your plan, but I'd love to see a nice (read:angsty;-) resolution.
Author's Response:
You make a good point about the tone of the chapters. I tried to do that to make it more of a "fight and resolution" beginning to end story, which is also why it's done at this point. As for Karen, it will be so nice when she's off the show and we don't have to keep coming up with ways to write her out. It is indeed getting annoying. :)Thanks for noticing the details!
Date: February 09, 2007 12:47 pm Title: Electrical Storm
I love your reason for Pam's anger. Speaking of someone who has tried to write this scene herself I love when someone else puts a great spin on it and you, my dear, certainly do.
And the rest? Just YAY! Well done!!
Author's Response: I was worried that was going to be a little too much drama so thanks for liking that!
10 [Report This]Date: February 09, 2007 12:46 pm Title: Electrical Storm
awww.....I wish you were continuing this!! Great moment in the car.
Author's Response: It's done, but I promise to write more good moments in cars if that's what you want.
Date: February 09, 2007 12:20 pm Title: Electrical Storm
Yay! I love car problems. So many good fics come about because of them :)
Author's Response: You all seem to like car fics. I'm making a note of that now.
Date: February 09, 2007 11:07 am Title: Electrical Storm
i love the way you finished this. it's nice to know that they can just have a normal, short conversation without lots of drama. this felt real and still precious. very jam :)
Author's Response: Thanks!