I just discovered this and think this forst chapter here is really excellent. The portrait is a really nice metaphor for Pam's life.
Well done losing your creative writing virginity! It usually isn't so good your first time!

Author's Response: Thanks desert island!  Yes, it may have been my first time, but it was still awkward and I was nervous, but I it was also exuberant and left me wanting more.  (Oh gosh, I've got to stop. )

7

Beautiful chapter. I can't believe it was written by someone who says "I'm not really a writer" because "absolutely you are". I love the little details and the comparisons between Pam's life and her art. And this line was just so perfect:  "It was years of denial and hard labor in an effort to force something to work that was never working to begin with that did her in."

10

You may claim "I'm not really a writer" in your end notes, but this story disproves your theory. You are very much a writer. There is such a gentleness and grace to your style, which is perfect for Pam and her art. 

How did I miss this story when it first came out? I'm at a loss, but I'm glad I found it now. It reminds me a lot of "Quantum Mechanics," which you just reviewed for me, but focusing on art instead of science.

I just thought of something pretty cool. Follow me on this.

The random story of the moment led you to Quantum Mechanics, which you hadn't seen the first time around, and your review led me back to this story, which I hadn't seen the first time around, like one great circle. So, the question is: was it really "random?" :) (my head hurts now just thinking about it.)

Anyway, have I mentioned that I thought this story was amazing? You really need to write more. Like, soon. For real. 

This was beautiful and gave a lot of insight into what Pam must have been thinking after the art show. I'm not an artist at all, but I really liked the details like "cross-hatching". Made me feel like you got Pam's voice right. Nice job!

Author's Response: Yeah, I had to dig into my old art-vocab and try to delve into what it's like to get something all wrong.  I'm glad you feel like I got Pam's voice right.  That's the part that makes me most nervous.  These character's are so well written, I worry that I'm putzing around with a masterpiece and I don't have the skill to match the creators (of these characters).  There's a reason that I haven't written any dialogue.  :)  (Yet)  Thanks again.  

10

BJB, even better than the first time I read it. Bravo!!! I can't wait to read the next one. :)


Author's Response: Thanks so much, Scotty!

This is so simple and beautiful. I love how you use Pam's interest in art to look at the bigger picture. I can't wait to see the rest! You know you want to become a creative writing slut!

Author's Response: Yep, I'm beginning to see that once you've had a taste, it's hard to give it up.  I'm really enjoying the whole creative writing process.  The only things I've really written before were papers and reports.  This is definitely more fun and I'm finding it a little relaxing and cathartic.  I think I'm well on my way to becoming a creative writing slut!  Who knew!

Excellent start, BJB!

I love the connection you made between Pam and her art.

Here is my fave part:

It was then that it became clear that it was not the mark of a man who was careless and un-thoughtful that had effortlessly ruined her drawing.   It was years of denial and hard labor in an effort to force something to work that was never working to begin with that did her in.  And the truth was, it was her own hand that had guided those lines. 

I can't wait to read more!