Date: April 15, 2008 12:23 pm Title: Cocktails - The Job
I hope you do this from Jim's POV. It would be really interesting.
I'm catching up with reading a bit and I thought I'd check this out, particularly since it's such an interesting premise. You're doing a really good job with this, especially showing Pam figuring out how she feels.
Date: April 08, 2008 05:14 pm Title: The Convict - Business School
These are so fascinating. You are doing a great job of capturing the essence of Pam's feelings in very few words.
There was a violent turbulence inside her that poured out of her eyes and down her cheeks. If this is what he had felt like for years and years she suddenly loved him even more.
She couldn’t quite explain why it didn’t feel like an accomplishment until he acknowledged it. His obvious selfless joy reminded her of a day of gold medals and blossoming love.
A dance outside with someone familiar and comfortable reminded her that she didn’t have to feel as broken as she did most days. She left with him and caught her breath, feeling better and worse all at once.
Just absolutely brilliant :)
Date: April 05, 2008 05:43 pm Title: The Secret - Take Your Daughter to Work Day
Really good job with these episodes. My favorite: She’d never felt more disappointed—in herself, in Roy, and in the sting she felt at the lack of anything new to add to her shoebox. Such a heartbreaking little sentiment.
Date: April 04, 2008 02:19 pm Title: The Client - The Injury
As soon as she got home she got in the shower, knowing she smelled like citronella and something warm she couldn’t quite place. The citronella washed away easily but nothing else did. -- Awesome. All of these chapters are great, but this is the line that struck me the most.
Date: April 02, 2008 08:13 pm Title: Season One
I really love this idea. I didn't, however, like some of the earlier sentences, just because they were so aware of Pam and Jim's Torrid Love (Alliance and Basketball being the worst). A minimalist reading of Pam has to address a transition into those sorts of thoughts. But the one for Hot Girl was really interesting and also my favorite. It's about her and small revelations in smaller moments. (I'm pretty pigeonholed, far as fic goes.) Looking forward to more! And congratulations on posting your first fic- I've been too cowardly to do so yet, and I hope the criticism I offered was friendly enough.