10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 06:22 pm Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Once again, Talkative, you've outdone yourself. The entire premise of this fic is lovely and unique, and your spin on the development of each item in the teapot is so thoughtful and subtle. You understand these characters inside out and backwards, and that's a challenge for any author, fanfiction or original source material. Very, very well done - I am, once again, thoroughly impressed!
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it. :)
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 06:21 pm Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Well I've damn near run out of adjectives to use in your reviews, my friend. Perfect? Lovely? I feel like those have been used so much, and also aren't nearly accurate enough.
I love how you fast forward a little to their happy ending, and I especially love that you didn't actually write out the card. I think we can all imagine what Jim would have written, and that's enough.
You really capture Jim's...emptiness, sadness of S2. It hurts a little, actually, if I'm being totally honest, but it's okay because it really makes us appreciate where they are now, doesn't it?
I just love your writing. There isn't a think you've written that I didn't just adore. You are truly gifted, and we are lucky that you chose to share it here with us.
Author's Response: Hey, kells - Thank you. I actually *did* write out the card, but I decided not to include it. A weird analogy, but it's like a horror movie: anything that you can imagine is going to be better than what I show you. Thanks for noting what I was trying to do with Jim. There's something detached and a bit sad about him in that Christmas episode and I wanted to play with that tone. From my perspective, it's what drove this entire chapter. Your reviews always flatter, dear. I sincerely appreciate it.
Date: October 22, 2008 03:47 pm Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Aw! So sweet! I love that he kept the card and that she found it. Such a sweet little moment between them. Nice job with this whole story. I loved it all.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review, Azlin. I'm glad you liked it.
Date: October 22, 2008 02:16 pm Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
I especially liked this chapter. Others have already mentioned lines/parts I thought were wonderful, but have to say the non-moment, where he leans into her outside the breakroom, was especially touching- captured that whole S2 in-denial vibe so well. Also, when he watches Mark put his arm around Melissa while watching tv and longs for that ordinary affection/connection with Pam - reminded me of FR and how content he seemed just to be able to finally hold her hand. Great dialogue throughout, very natural. And I'm glad you didn't divulge exactly what he'd written in the card - I like that being private, just between them. Nice clean language, lots of emotion without overwriting it - really a satisfying read, much enjoyed.
Author's Response: Hey, Colette - it's always great to get a review from you. I wrote and re-wrote that scene that you pointed to. It's actually difficult to hit the correct S2 tone - Jim's tendency to occassionally overstep his boundaries; Pam's refusal to acknowledge it; and the reader/viewer's overwhelming desire to strangle both of them - so I'm glad you think I've managed it. Thank you for the compliment on the dialog and for affirming my decision to exclude the contents of the card (even though I did write it). Looking forward to something new from you, hon. *nudge*
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 01:32 pm Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Jim had begun composing death threats to the members of Mannheim Steamroller and emailing them to Pam, requesting that she print them out on company letterhead and leave them in Dwight's inbox for his signature.
YES!
"This whole time. Really."
Perfect. This is so awwwwwwwwww. I love the fact that first, you pair the writing of the card with Jim and Pam's happily-ever-after, and secondly, that you preserve the tradition of never telling us what the damn card actually said. :D Well done.
Author's Response: See, he gets to complain about Phyllis' awful music, mess with Dwight, and prank/flirt with Pam ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Wow. As I've said to others - I wrote the card. I know what it says. And, now, I completely understand why glossing over the contents of that card has become a tradition: it's much too personal to share. Thanks for all of your reviews, NEJ. Sorry my WIPness had to keep you away for a while.
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 01:26 pm Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Gorgeous. And a nice Jim insight. Loved the ending, which was executed perfectly.
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.
Date: October 22, 2008 01:21 pm Title: The Boys Who Loved You
Pam told herself the whole story for the first time.
I love the way you put that. Yes, first you have to tell yourself the story, before you can tell it to anyone else. Good insight!
Pam imagined the kisses getting longer and slower until the spaces between them disappeared.
One of the most erotic sentences in this entire collection. :)
Author's Response: I also wanted to underscore her denial; that she was really refusing to acknowledge anything beyond unconnected incidents between them. To admit that there's a backstory, that something was *happening,* is admitting a lot. I always assumed it would take her quite a while to do that, perhaps even after she had made the choice to leave Roy.
Date: October 22, 2008 01:09 pm Title: Nothing Like It Was in My Room
So sweet, so sad, so Jim. Love every moment.
Author's Response: I know. Poor Jim. Fortunately, things have been looking up for him as of late.
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 01:02 pm Title: 180
The blindfolded yogurt may be the cutest thing I've read in a month.
More brilliance:
The timer had disappeared, removed before it could have run out, the moment suspended in the dark of his pocket or the warmth of his hand.
I love every word of this one.
Author's Response: I was worried it was too twee, so I'm glad you liked the yogurt joke. I literally wrote that last line three minutes before I posted the chapter. It was driving me a insane and I had sort of reached a "fine. here. whatever." point with it. In retrospect, it's a nice little line.
Date: October 22, 2008 12:54 pm Title: How It Must Look
the quick, hot shame in the twist of his neck knocked something loose in his head.
Brilliant line.
Creed and Meredith were executing a sloppy tango down the length of the parking lot
I want to see that in the show. Really. I fell off my chair laughing.
I love all of this. Again, you've captured their voices so, so true. Envious...
Author's Response: People keep finding my favorite lines today. Makes me so happy... and, yeah, I want some drunken dancing from those two, pronto.
Date: October 22, 2008 12:47 pm Title: Sales Call
This is OUTSTANDING. I am so jealous of the ease with which you have captured Jim and Pam's banter. It really sounds like them. And this? Is very insightful:
The easy, happy way in which he took her abuse was one of the several dozen things Pam really liked about Jim.
So very Pam. Well done!
Author's Response: First off, thank you for reviewing the individual chapters. The formatting in the author's response leaves something to be desired, particularly when dealing with big ol' reviews (note - please don't hesitate to write big ol' reviews). Second, thank you! I spend the lion's share of my time writing tweaking the dialog, so thank you for noticing.
Date: October 22, 2008 12:15 pm Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
xoxoxo joked in her latest fic intro that there should be a subgenre of laundry fic. I propose that there should be a subgenre of Secret Santa fic dealing with The Card. This was spectacular. I had no idea that's where you were heading with this one. There were a lot of lovely little turns of phrase, like the "inexact science of box layers". And I love the word "ephemeral".
Author's Response: Cardfic, yes. Especially cardfic that doesn't include the contents of the card - sweet, sweet torture. I'm glad you liked it, belsum. Thank you for your review.
Date: October 22, 2008 09:51 am Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Me again. I was just over at general fanfic discussion on the MTT forums. The lovely and talented sweetpea just clued us in on the meaning of the title of this last chap. Wow. Love that.
Author's Response: Me, too. It was a last-minute thing, but I think it fits.
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 08:22 am Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
I'm SO upset to see this finish and can't wait for your next one!
This chapter was sweet and a really nice way to end the story. I liked that you still kept the contents of the card a mystery, because I tend to cringe when people try to write it.
Also, love this line..
Pam rarely said hello when she called. It made him want to take her pretty face between his hands and kiss her.
Author's Response: You found one of my favorite lines. Thanks so much for your review, flonk. Like I told Callisto, I *did* write the card, and I spent a long time trying to decide if I should include it. As always, less seemed liked more. I'm glad others are agreeing with me.
Date: October 22, 2008 08:18 am Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
There's so much to love here and this is going to be one lousy review, but I'm at work and can't go into too much detail. Two things that I really loved:
Pam rarely said hello when she called. It made him want to take her pretty face between his hands and kiss her.
Just perfectly Jim and perfectly wonderful. I also loved how Pam loves all the paperwork of being married! God, that is such a great little detail and SO TRUE! i love the ending and the whole chapter felt like a giant embrace, your writing is so smooth and warm. Really lovely.
Author's Response: Eep! Sweetpea! Who's writing "Write To Me"! And I haven't reviewed yet, even though it's blowing me away! Does this count? No? Okay... well, thanks for *your* review. I have so much respect and admiration for your talent, so your compliment of my style means a lot to me. And thank you for pointing to one of my favorite details in this chapter - it makes me feel like I have a pretty good sense of what I'm doing right. Cheers.
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 07:26 am Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
P.S. ::Greedy pixie pulls up chair, waits for smut or barn dance:: Can't let you rest of your laurels for too long...
Author's Response: Don't worry. Angela is already descending the stairs in a certain farmhouse, hastily zipping up the back of her dress...
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 07:21 am Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
What a perfect ending to this fic, Talkative. I'm still feeling all tingly and full of holiday cheer (like a good little pixie). I was delighted to realize that you had skipped ahead to Jim and Pam's future. You had me thinking I was casually observing a mundane moment in the life of the future Mrs. Roy Anderson, you trickster. Why is it so appealing to me that Jim is Jewish? I suppose because it's kind of out of the ordinary. I love that he keeps it to himself but that Pam knows. So sweet that she would quietly honor the holiday for him. You've captured Jim's personality so well--the sweetness, sincerity and awkwardness. So thrilled that he wrote Pam a love letter and is embarrased at it being discovered. Extra points for mentioning It's a Wonderful Life. I'm such a sap that I could watch it every day and still not tire of it. Your mentioning the swimming pool scene brought a smile to my face, as did your reference to Linus' speech in A Charlie Brown Christmas, another perennial favorite (of course Jim would like that).
Love this awesome exchange: "Well, I'm totally reevaluating my plan to earn extra money for holiday gifts, but I'm fine."
"You'd make a lousy Santa. You're too skinny. Bony lap." He could picture her face, the glint of anticipation in her eyes as she waited for his comeback.
"Oh, yeah? When have you ever -" quickly, he corrected his course, "An elf, then."
This warranted a laugh. "Freakshow elf."
"See? I could charge extra."
"Clever. Very clever. I'll see you tomorrow, Halpert."
"I'll be the one in the curly shoes."
He hung up and sat staring at his phone for ten minutes.
Excellent job, darling.
Author's Response: A review from NanReg! Hanukkah came early this year! I'm fairly certain that Jim won't be Jewish in the canon (if they ever address his heritage at all), but, given his last name and certain things about him, it makes sense to me. I refuse to come back and edit when TPTB undermine me. Thanks for each and every one of your wonderful reviews.
Date: October 22, 2008 07:15 am Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
Nooooooo! I don't want this story to be over. But I suppose it is time. Oh well. Hope to see much more from you soon!!
Author's Response: Thank you, nbyevu. There's more in the pipeline already. I'm looking forward to working on it.
10 [Report This]Date: October 22, 2008 07:14 am Title: Nes Gadol Haya Sham
I feel like I should feel cheated that we don't get to see what he wrote, but I don't--this is better. In fact, this is just...perfect. I pulled out a few of the passages that
really struck me:
He considered asking Melissa's advice and came close to doing it, but that would mean having to pick through a veritable minefield of loaded questions and knowing smiles. He was laying on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate resting on his chest, his eyes half-focused on the tree lights, and a blanket across his legs. He didn't need his own mounting certainty that he was in love with Pam to be vocalized by the well-meaning matchmaker in the easy chair, not while Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed danced into the swimming pool underneath the gymnasium floor.
--I really liked the visual there; I can see him, and smell the hot chocolate, and feel his resignation to what's happening to him.
Her inner anthropologist wonders if this box was packed and taped shut during the move he made without her, because of her.
--Okay that appeals to the anthropologist that I am. But without her, because of her is the kicker.
Of course, she opens the envelope, with one small, guilty glance in the direction of the living room. She can hear an adroit string of obscenities being directed at the most abused member of the household, the Playstation.
--Again, nice visual of home. "Of course" she opens it. Yes. :)
And then this whole exchange is wonderful, just spot-on:
"There was a lot to say."
"It's really romantic."
"Well, thank you." He smiles.
"And, uh, kind of dirty in places."
"Pam, please - the word is passionate." He doesn't seem to be able to look at her.
"Oh, really?" She reaches for the card, "Isn't there something in here about wanting -"
He is on her in an instant, pushing the card out of reach and pressing her down to the floor. "Nope." He brushes his lips against hers and she knows that he remembers every word.
Gorgeous ending to a really great story, Talkative! Thank you for it. :)
Author's Response: Thank you for your detailed review, Callisto. I know you know how much it means when a reader (esp. one as respected as you) takes the time to comment. I went back and forth wrt to the card the entire time I was working on this. In fact, I even wrote the whole thing, just in case. This might sound strange coming from someone who has written Pam and Jim into a series of compromising positions, but the card just felt too personal to share. So I didn't. Thank you again.
Date: October 14, 2008 10:41 pm Title: The Boys Who Loved You
Wow - this is truly fine. Your story is so eloquent, and I can close my eyes and see it all as it unfurls. It just keeps getting better and better. I am so hooked.
-Mint
Author's Response: I love sucking people in. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Let me know what you think of the final chapter.
Date: October 14, 2008 11:13 am Title: The Boys Who Loved You
This one strangest hit home in a couple of odd places for me. The line "the only door that was ever hers alone" really did because I can relate to that. And now the sleeplessness of pregnancy.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, belsum. There was some pretty personal stuff in there for me, too (including one of the things you pointed out).
10 [Report This]Date: October 13, 2008 10:46 pm Title: Sales Call
Really, really great!
Author's Response: Thank you!
10 [Report This]Date: October 11, 2008 03:14 pm Title: The Boys Who Loved You
Oh, you just made my day. Once again, you have done it. Where to begin, so much to love.
I thought the telling of Pam dealing with her breakup and move where just beautiful and perfectly in character. I love your take on Pam’s thought process. I can see Pam going through all of her past treasures and silently coming to terms with the reality of her time with Roy. Just beautiful and subtle. Also, I was moved by her finally, though hesitantly, admitting to herself and a perfect stranger that she loves Jim and that you mention that she really only allowed herself to think about him “that way” a few times. I feel this slow realization is very true to her character. As much as we the audience wants her to see and feel what we want regarding Jim and Roy, she had made a serious commitment to Roy, and it took a long time for her to come to grips with the truth.
I’m also glad that you addressed how angry she was at him for giving her an ultimatum. While I completely understand Jim’s motives, what did he really expect? I always thought that anger and perhaps a reevaluation of his feeling for her had to play a part in why she didn’t contact him.
Also, I’m just curious about your thoughts on the unexplained timeline between S2 and S3 that has left all Office fans wondering, if you wouldn’t mind sharing or perhaps you want to leave this up to our imaginations. How soon after Jim’s confession did Pam break up with Roy? And I want to make sure I’m reading this correctly, but does your story have Jim leaving for Stamford after he found out about the canceled wedding?
Once again, what can I say, your stories are wonderful and beautifully, perfectly written. I can’t wait for the next installment.
Author's Response: Hey, WhatAWaste - thanks for this lovely, thorough review. I agree (obviously) that she must have been pretty angry with Jim and that this anger played a part in how long it took them to get back in touch. I also assume that she must have been confused: he says he's in love with her and then he leaves? Pam's not the most assertive person in the world, even now. I imagine she would have had a hard time figuring out how to respond to that. As for the S2/S3 timeline - I didn't want to nail it down, but I'm pretty sure that Pam would have called her wedding off in short order after Jim confessed his feelings. I can't imagine how hard it would have been for them to be at work together after that night. And, yeah, in this story, Jim leaves with the knowledge that Pam has canceled her wedding. My assumption here was that he had already made the decision to do leave before he got the news, and decided to go in spite of it. It seems to me that he's basically throwing a giant, months-long fit in S3. It had to start somewhere, right? Thank you again.
Date: October 11, 2008 10:22 am Title: The Boys Who Loved You
Aw, Flonkerton stole my favorite line:
"Pam told herself the whole story for the first time."
But really, all of this is wonderful. I must admit, I didn't pick up on all of the lyrics, but I'm terribly impressed at what you accomplished here. I do hope you come out and list them at some point for those of us who are lyrically challenged.
I also like that this moves forward in time a bit and shows how the mix tape continues to be a part of Pam's life as she begins to change it. It was so moving and sad to see her dealing with the aftermath of calling off the wedding.
Talkative, your writing continues to amaze me and you are still one of my favorite authors on this site. I always know when I see an update from you that I'm in for a treat and you haven't let me down yet. I look forward to the final chapter of this (as well as that post-premiere barn dance that you hinted at earlier - or is that being greedy?).
Author's Response: Now, now, now... we can share favorite lines. :) Thank you for the kind words, Blanca. I'll be posting the track listing when I post the final chapter in this story. I've been listening to Jim's mixtape on my iPod for a couple of weeks now, and, I must say, it's a good one. Thanks for noting the time jump - we're going to move back for the last chapter. And, as for the post-premiere barn dance, I'm actually more excited about that than I am the last chapter of this. You'll see why. Until next time, dear.
Date: October 11, 2008 12:40 am Title: The Boys Who Loved You
Yep. You killed me.
Guh. I don't think I've ever read a more heartbreaking look at Pam, post-calling it off. It was tragic but beautiful.
This is one of my favorite things I've read:
Pam told herself the whole story for the first time.
Author's Response: *nudges flonk with her toe* Great. I wonder if Dwight has room in the family plot? Thank you for your review. The section with the power outage and the walk down the street was the first thing I wrote for this chapter. In a way, it's autobiographical, as are quite a few things I included here. I'm glad you enjoyed it, even if it means I have blood on my hands now.