9 [Report This]Date: August 16, 2009 06:01 pm Title: 4:28 AM
It's not bad or, clunky, as you'd put it. Little moments are needed to set up bigger ones so it's actually a good thing you're not rushing and providing details.
9 [Report This]Date: August 13, 2009 05:42 pm Title: 4:28 AM
I know you said you had trouble with this chapter, but I think it was pretty good - it needed this, something to connect it to the rest of what you are going to write, which, by the way, I can't wait to read. Great work so far. Looking forward to more!
Date: August 13, 2009 04:00 pm Title: 4:28 AM
wow, this is a great story, i love it! nice details and descriptions (sorry, they're very similar!) and i love the characters' names. i can tell jim is going to be a great help to pam in the near future. great job flonkertonchamp! (btw, i love your pen name!)
Date: August 13, 2009 02:56 pm Title: 4:28 AM
I can so see Jim getting all grrr with the lady on reception, loved loved loved!
Really hope Dr. McNulty can help :(