10 [Report This]Date: February 11, 2010 12:15 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
WHY do I cry over everything?? I... yay!! I loved this! I was all "YAY! clap,clap,clap YAY!"
"...and I’m thinking maybe Daniel needs a sibling right damn now." Yup.
I hope I find more first-person on my quest to finish all of your stuff today! If not, get on it!
Author's Response: Yikes, sorry, no more first person stuff that I've written (but there are some good ones in these archives by other folks). I really appreciate your reviews so big thanks to you for taking the time to leave them. It makes it much more fun to write when people respond. Thanks!!!
10 [Report This]Date: November 08, 2009 02:27 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
I thought this was one of those, serious-life-isn't-the-way-it-should-be stories, and I've never been so happy to be wrong! The shopping cart conversation was priceless, and just another reason why JAM will always make it. Such a good story, I'm sorry to see it end.
P.S.Maybe I'm just mean, but I loved the mental image of Jim making a mess with the syrup and then trying to act business-like in the middle of it :)
Author's Response: I'm glad to hear you say that you liked the shopping cart conversations - I hemmed and hawed on that but finally decided it was something they might do. And yeah, I admit it, I enjoyed writing Jim standing there holding his sticky hands over the sink getting the bad/good news. (I wrote a peanut butter covered Jim in a previous story, so go figure.) Thanks so much for your comments, and for taking a chance on my little story.
Date: November 08, 2009 07:14 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
You know, I was just thinking about this chapter some more and I realized more fully what a cool thing you did with Mr. Harris' daughter. In the first chapter, he was pretty offended when Jim suggested obliquely that he could fill the pranking shoes of Harris' employee who'd passed away. At face value, that was a pretty thoughtless thing of Jim to say.
But Laura clearly told her father about her interaction with Jim and the "open fly" story in a way that showed Jim really WOULD fit in with the work family that Harris created. That Jim wasn't some poser but had a good heart and was funny. Laura must've really talked him up to get her father to see past the affront he felt Jim had committed.
I was so hung up on all the grammar and flow stuff when I did the beta read that I somehow missed this. Now I like the chapter even more!
Author's Response: Oh thanks VB, I'm glad you liked that twist. I'll be honest, the real fun of writing this stuff for ole nonverbal right brained me is the plot, and when somebody "gets" it, it makes my little heart glow.
10 [Report This]Date: November 07, 2009 10:13 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
Phew...so glad Jim got the job. And how cool is it that his new boss is also named Michael? Is cool the right word? I loved the fact that you managed to put something in this about Pam drawing again. One question though: Are you going to write an epilogue of Jim and Pam later that night? Just curious. ::whistles innocently::
Overall, I enjoyed this story a lot. Great job!
Author's Response: I really don't have plans to write an epilogue - smut is not my strong suit and your imagination is probably a lot better than what I would write. But yeah, I betcha things got amorous between our kids that night. I think having another boss named Michael may be a nightmare for Jim, but he just doesn't know it yet. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing - and sticking with it despite the depressing early premise, bkwrm.
Date: November 07, 2009 04:47 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
Jazz, this came out GREAT! Soooo much more fluid than v1!! Just beautiful!
And the winner for most improved turn of phrase?
The light changes rapidly from a rosy glow to fiery orange and soon we’re engulfed in a raging frozen fire.
Just love that!!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the frozen fire. *grin* I seriously love it when you get out your red pen - it makes me realize how lazy I am and that I need to really, really work at this. Thank you so much for your help.
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2009 05:15 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
Dudette, that was freaking awesome, so lovely. The phone call with Mr.Harris was brilliant. I love that someone "got Jim," if you know what I mean :) Really enjoyed it :)
Author's Response: Hannah_Halpert, I'm glad you liked the prank - what goes around comes around, you know? (I certainly had fun with it) Thanks for taking the time to comment, much appreciated.
Date: November 05, 2009 04:34 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
When that man gave Jim the job (when MICHAEL gave Jim the job) I almost couldn't get to the end of this fast enough because I needed to congratulate you on a job freakin' well done! Wow...has anyone ever gotten Jim like that? I don't think so! BEST PRANK EVER.
And if all that wasn't enough...Nature Boy - in my top 5 favorite songs EVER.
This was very well crafted my friend. Go you!
Author's Response: So, couldn't wait for the story to end, eh? *gets a melodramatic wounded look* I'm really tickled you liked the prank. Somebody (ahem nan) thought it was too mean, but after all the crap he's pulled it seemed like poetic justice, and it all turned out okay for old Jimpert in the end, afterall. If you dish it out... Oh yeah! Nature Boy is a phenomenal song. If you get a chance to watch that Elling version on youtube, he will blow your socks off. Thanks for your comments!
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2009 01:16 pm Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
I know I commented before, but I have to tell you again how GREAT this story is! This is probably one of my favorite stories. You're a fantastic writer, just the way you showed how strong their bond is that no matter what they go through, they'll get through it together. I absolutely love what Pam drew in her sketch book. I thought it was so powerful without being overstated. Well done.
Author's Response: Thanks Deedldee. I went back and forth on the whole sketchbook idea, so I'm glad you liked it. I appreciate the feedback tremendously.
10 [Report This]Date: November 05, 2009 07:37 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
You, lady, are quite a wonderful writer. Even though I've read this before, I didn't enjoy it any less this time--more, in fact. You're great at nailing little details of domestic life. Your Jim and Pam have such a strong bond, despite adversity. Even though their situation was heartbreaking, I never doubted that they would be fine as a family.
I love this most of all: The light changes rapidly from a rosy glow to fiery orange and soon we’re engulfed in a raging frozen fire. Then the sun moves a little higher and everything in sight begins to sparkle white. Even the trashcans on the curbs of the street glitter and glint like diamonds. Makes me wish that I was there to see that sunrise. Awesome, my dear.
Author's Response: Not wonderful by any stretch, but I'm trying. We get a lot of ice storms where I live, and although they are a pain to deal with on a practical level, they are so very, very magical to see - glorious really. I hope you get an icestorm this winter - gotta get up early to see the show though. *grin* Thanks for your help on this one and all the others.
Date: November 05, 2009 07:07 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
*Dedeen stands up and gives jazzfan a standing ovation* This was awesome, you tied up the knots pretty well here. I just hope (I know I'm being needy here) that you would continue with another chapter. I wanted to see them with Daniel. But it's all good! This was amazingly written and its one of my favorites!
Author's Response: Thank you, thankyouverahmuch. /Elvis impression I don't have plans for any more at this point, but I'm flattered you'd like more. Thanks for the review, Dedeen.
Date: November 05, 2009 06:31 am Title: Chapter 3 Nature Boy
SO good!! Keep going with this, this was such a relief, and I just loved the opening with the ice. Mornings like that are so incredible, words can't even describe it. Such a good job!
Author's Response: Thanks very much JHalpert. I actually plan to end it here, unless something I'm not able to think right now of hits me. (I don't want to wander into fictionland without a direction) I'm glad you liked it.