Date: February 11, 2011 07:55 am Title: Chapter 3
Excellent that you're continuing with this! I've been busy at work and haven't had time to dig into the archive. Nice to have two chaps to read :) There's a lot to love about this ready-made "family."
Author's Response: Thank you NanReg. I have a clear path for this story and know exactly how I want it to end. I'm very happy to see that you like this. I have more on the way.
Date: February 10, 2011 09:08 pm Title: Chapter 3
I like how you have Jim concentrate on winning Jack over rather than focusing directly on Pam. The way you've written it feels honest, not like he's being duplicitous about it. He really wants to work his way into both of their hearts. The close is just lovely and shows his intent:
When they return to Pam’s apartment after dinner at Chuck E. Cheese, he can’t help but feel at peace when she locks the door behind them, kicks off her shoes and picks out a Disney movie to play. And when Jack falls asleep in his arms, he wonders how he did not have any of this yesterday, wonders how he survived without it.
I just love that image.
Author's Response: Thank you Vampiric Blood. That's what I was trying to get across. I think Jim would seem too over the top if he fawned over Pam too much. I'm glad you thought it was an honest approach to their characters and I'm really so excited that you liked the ending part. There is more on the way.
10 [Report This]Date: February 09, 2011 11:23 am Title: Chapter 3
You know, I did think at first that Pam was slightly OOC , BUT then I thought about it, and I actually think she did have a reason to be that mean to him. But even more so because it was so out of the blue. I think this chapter was great, how she was so annoyed in the last chapter, more so because she was so flustered, but then once she had had time to get her head around it, she'd calmed down.
The interaction between Jim and Jack is adorable.
Cannot wait to see what you have planned :)
Author's Response: Thank you Hannah Halpert, I'm sorry that I made Pam too OOC in the second chapter. I dont think I did a very good job of explaining why she was angry in the first place. I should have had a chapter in there from her perspective I guess. Hopefully I can recover and get back on track with this.