Date: August 18, 2011 06:30 am Title: Management
Yikes, I was reading along all happy like and now you've added drama? Loved Dwight's talking head.
8 [Report This]Date: August 05, 2011 02:51 pm Title: Management
I loved The West Wing and Nancy Grace references. We kno Pam likes to watch crap while pregnant (and I'm not calling TWW crap, hell noooo)
One thing, I don't think American's say toastie, I think they just call it a grilled cheese :)
Hope you write more soon
8 [Report This]Date: August 05, 2011 07:20 am Title: Management
You have nailed Dwight's voice in this and I really like the pranking ideas. I'm a little confused at the end though... (and please don't take this in any other way other than constructive) you rush too closely between Pam being in pain with a tear and her giggling. It may take a bit longer for pain to pass. I'm really enjoying this overall though and hope you'll post more soon.
Author's Response: I wrote the giggle in later, actually because I wanted to steer away from it being a melodramatic ending. Firstly, Pam's in a little bit of pain but it's too bad. Also, it's one of those times when you have a sort of odd natural reaction to pain or shock, so you laugh instead of cry. And, like I say within the text, it's sort of a sudden rush of pain so Dwight sort of distracts her from it there.
I'm glad you're enjoying it though - I am looking forward to getting a couple more steps ahead with it because I think it will become a whole lot more interesting soon. And, you have no idea how hard I try to nail each characters' voice - it's so hard without the actor actually saying the lines, so thanks for that. :) xx