Date: October 28, 2011 12:30 pm Title: Chapter 2
There's so much I like about this. The matter of fact tone just makes Jim's day seem even more empty. Ah, it makes it clear how he's totally not engaged. That's it.
I like how you introduce Andy and Karen namelessly.
I like how you close with the same phrase of the opening.
I'll be interested to see how far you decide to take this. Will the story end in angst-land? Go AU?
And, like Deedldee, schedule permitting, I'd be happy to help out if you need feedback getting back in the saddle on the other story. I'm not writing anymore but I still like to beta.
Date: October 15, 2011 07:37 pm Title: Chapter 2
Such a melancholy mood you've created here. Sad and beautiful.
Date: October 14, 2011 02:22 pm Title: Chapter 2
Poor Jim, I feel so bad for him. It sure seems like you have got inside his head and heart with this.
Date: October 14, 2011 12:01 pm Title: Chapter 2
I really like this story! It's the most realistic one I've read about what happened to Jim immediately after Casino Night. It's hard to read, that's for sure, but I have to keep reminding myself of the happy ending.
I hope you continue updating quickly! :)
10 [Report This]Date: October 13, 2011 03:26 pm Title: Chapter 2
Poor Jim. I want to give him a cuddle :(
10 [Report This]Date: October 13, 2011 01:55 pm Title: Chapter 2
UGH! You're making me tear up! Poor Jim. :( Great job describing Andy and Karen. She seemed awfully dismissive. I wonder how things changed from that to having the hots for him. I'm so happy you've updated so quickly. Looking forward to more!
Date: October 13, 2011 09:54 am Title: Chapter 2
It's interesting how Karen quickly dismisses him the first day, isn't it? Anyway, I'm liking the fast updates, I hope you continue to update this fast. Pweess :)
Author's Response: Yeah, pretty sure she didn't like him for the first few months he worked there. Silly girl. I promise I will update as fast as I can write! Which might not be much...but I promise I'll try.