1 [Report This]Date: September 21, 2019 10:07 pm Title: Chapter 1
I agree with warrior that Pam maybe goes a little fast between emotional states, but overall I quite like this setup. I'm interested to see what you'd do with it: particularly, what else is different in the world where Pam was willing on Casino Night. Is it just that difference, or are there other minor differences Jim will notice? Does he think he is misremembering, or does he know it's a different world? How will Pam feel when she finds out he didn't think that night went the same? Where's her Jim--is that poor man in a world in our world now? These and others might be interesting questions to explore.
1 [Report This]Date: August 25, 2019 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well yes. Yes, we do need a new chapter. This was short and sweet, and I think this story has lots of potential. How did Pam end up with Jim? Is it just a very vivid dream? And what happens when she returns the ring? Will Roy react violently?
So many possibilities. Hope you do write another chapter
Date: August 23, 2019 09:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
Short but it's got good bones. I think Pam going from giggling and laughing to crying and back again so quickly was a little out of character. Anxious or worried that she'd made a mistake, but I'm not sure she'd get to full on crying so quickly. I get what you're doing though.
I will admit I'm curious to see how this pans out.