Date: January 04, 2020 07:14 am Title: Chapter 9
Ok beautiful ending, as I expected. I'm particularly fond of the nod to Jim's vacation in canon, but the whole thing is very well done. Great story, thanks for sharing it!
Many thanks - I'm glad you've stuck with it and enjoyed it. Glad you liked the ending too, because I wasn't very confident about that.
Currently enjoying 'A Dollar Short', and will leave a review and some beans shortly. Thanks again!
Date: January 02, 2020 01:01 pm Title: Chapter 5
Oh man now I remember why I always end my fics at the happy ending because I hate the ominous looming what will go wrong.
And yet I am living this, so maybe I just hate writing that. Yours is very good at evoking a sense of temporary happiness. It's impressive in the dual emphasis on both halves of that term. Well done.
Author's Response: I'm kind of with you on that...happy ending to come though. Eventually... ;o)
Date: January 02, 2020 11:58 am Title: Chapter 1
I really enjoyed this setup, which makes me feel bad about myself because they're both so unhappy but it's really well done. I like the little changes to canon (and the one big one) and I'm interested in where this goes!
Author's Response: Thank you every much for reading - I'm glad you're enjoying it!
Date: January 01, 2020 03:39 pm Title: Chapter 9
Oh I’m so glad this finally came together for them! It’s so lovely to see Jim have his revelation and it drive him to action. It makes all the sense in the world that once he thinks about it, it’s clear that Pam marrying him says all that needs to be said. I love the idea of him speaking with her parents and buying a ring.
Huge congrats on finishing your first fic before the end of 2019 - a wonderful accomplishment! I hope you’ll share more with us this year.
Author's Response: Many thanks for all your encouraging reviews, Jenna; it's much appreciated, and it's really helped me keep going when I've been struggling to pin down the words and ideas. Great to be able to concentrate on reading other people's stuff again, and I've really enjoyed your recent stories! Thanks again.
Date: January 01, 2020 12:06 pm Title: Chapter 9
This story has been a real ride. Lots of ups and downs. For your first fanfic though, superb! You created interest, curiosity, hope, a touch of fear here and there, but then with this last chapter pulled it all together.
It was so wonderful to see them talking like this. To get over their own hang-ups, their fear, their doubt and just jump into each others arms. i really love the character growth that this chapter shows. They've learned from themselves, their family, and friends just how important it is to be open with each other. Now that they're done assuming things they've found a much more wonderful place to be.
The retreat at the lake-side cabin seemed the perfect place to do that. Away from all the noise and distractions they can just focus on each other. In more ways than one. ;)
Wonderful job throughout all of this. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with next.
Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat
Author's Response: Many thanks, Warrior, for all your (extremely comprehensive!) comments. It's been a great encouragement as I've gone along. Looking forward to catching up on your recent pieces, now I'm not stressing about getting this finished!
Date: December 21, 2019 08:36 pm Title: Chapter 8
I hate when they are so miserable, but I absolutely love the chapter! Can't wait to see what's going to happen next!
Unless I'm struck by falling masonry, you are promised a happy ending - hopefully before the year is out.
Thanks for keeping with the story!
Date: December 21, 2019 04:43 pm Title: Chapter 8
That cliffhanger! I mean, just....please don't keep us hanging to long. Not after all of this.
I LOVED your supporting cast here. Mark, Larissa, Penny. Just wonderful all around. It was great to see them laying into Pam and Jim like this. They clearly needed it. Hopefully help shake off any lingering fear or doubt. If only we could have seen some scenes like this in canon. Great writing. Great way to build everything up throughout this chapter.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the other characters...I wasn't sure if I had too much 'other people' content, or if it was justified. I'm glad you enjoyed them.
Date: December 21, 2019 04:15 pm Title: Chapter 8
I feel you on the Christmas delays. Totally understandable. I can’t believe the next chapter is the last! In a way, I’m glad, because it will mean we’ll get some resolution to the funk they’re in. But, I’ll be sad to see this one end.
Pam’s aunt sounds completely delightful, in that eccentric family member we all have somewhere in the family tree sort of way. Living with her is definitely a terrible idea though.
Penny was just wonderful in this chapter. It’s lovely to see more of the sister dynamic that we don’t really get in canon. This version of Penny is great. The right amount of supportive sister, versus the cold hard truth (which sisters are just so good for).
All in all, another wonderful update in that utterly heartbreaking kind of way...
Thank you so much...I'm delighted you aren't bored with it already! Hopefully resolution will be with you soon. If I ever do this again, I'll be making sure that there isn't a major event looming when I start... :o]
Date: December 08, 2019 12:08 am Title: Chapter 7
This chapter hurts. It's very well-written, the characters' struggles are palpable, their mutual uncertainties are natural and understandable. And yet...
I love supportive Meredith, by the way. It's the first story I've ever read where she has her voice of wisdom. That's nice.
Author's Response: Thank you! Glad you liked Meredith.
Date: December 07, 2019 08:59 pm Title: Chapter 7
Ugh. This chapter was absolutely delightful in a very angsty way. You know how there’s that whole concept of just lock them in a room together & force them to talk. You’ve essentially done that here, they’re locked in the room. But, for the love of all things holy, they‘re still not talking. It’s driving me crazy - in a good, really building the story kind of way. It’s going to be a hell of a relief when they finally figure things out though. If Jim actually goes to Stamford in this world I may just lose my mind...
Author's Response: ;o)
Date: December 07, 2019 07:33 pm Title: Chapter 7
Yeah, they're spending way to much time in their own heads here. I mean you're writing it great, but yeah you just want to reach through the screen and shake their shoulders till they come to their senses. Glad that Pam finally told Roy knock it all off. His whole "how dare you cheat on me" thing really wasn't holding any water considering his past here. Nice to have that over and done with.
Hopefully things start to look up from here on out.
Author's Response: Happiness is on it's way...
Date: November 25, 2019 03:09 pm Title: Chapter 6
Sam, I love this story and have read it since you started posting it and can’t believe I haven’t reviewed it yet! My apologies!
I’m not gonna lie, I’m really enjoying the angst on this one! I’m usually super annoyed at the fact that these two always seem to take FOREVER to just be honest with each other! However, with this story, I’m loving it!
Also, I’m from the UK too so didn’t really pick up on the British-isms until I saw them pointed out!
Maybe that’s why I feel like this story flows so well for me? Either way, excellent story!
Keep updating please! :D
Apologies for taking so long to reply, and thanks for taking the time to review. I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far. There's a bit more angst to come, but I promise they're getting there!
Date: November 23, 2019 12:07 pm Title: Chapter 6
Double review from me for this chapter. I also picked up that you're from the UK. The benefits of being married to a woman who was in love with the good seasons of BBC Top Gear, read with Clarkson, May, and Hammond, the David Tennant seasons of Dr. Who, and Shakespeare. I was able to pick up on the British-ness coming through too. So a few things in this chapter I found and their corrections if you're interested in making this more "American."
"Mould" British vs. US English here. Just like "watercolour" later in the chapter, in the States we would generally drop the 'u' in those words. That' kind of nitpicky I know, but it's one of those things. So it would be "mold" or "watercolor."
"Anti-clockwise" would be the British version of the American "counter-clockwise."
"Takeaway" = "Take out" in the US.
"Sackable" in the UK. "Fireable" in the US
I do like the idea that Jim is a fan of some BBC type shows which could lead to some British type words coming into his lexicon. I think it's bloody brilliant if "bloody" got mixed in from time to time. Also "dickhead" yes is used in the US. It's a pretty universal think. Arsehole/asshole same thing really.
I'm not at all complaining about the Britishness coming through. Yes, it's there because as writers we tend to default to words and phrases we're most familiar with. Getting things like slang down when you're unfamiliar with them can be tricky. That's okay. If you want to keep the UK vibe going, that's your choice and in my opinion fine. Makes this story a bit more unique and kind of fun to read.
I just mention those things about in care you'd like to use them so you know what the American versions would be. Hope it helps.
Thanks for taking the time to respond, Warrior. I'm with your wife on the David Tennant Dr Who! though I quite liked the Christopher Ecclestone one too.
I forgot all about the spelling thing. I should have picked up colour, though I wouldn't have known mould is spelled without the 'u'. Another spelling issue I've forgotten to Americanize is 'ise', 'isation', 'ising'.
'Take out' is actually one I looked up, and I've managed to get it right elsewhere. This errant (hopefully only...) one slipped through :o( 'Anti-clockwise' I had a feeling was different, but forgot to check. That's what I get for posting in the early hours...
Anyway, hope it isn't grating on folk's nerves. Will try harder!
Date: November 22, 2019 05:35 pm Title: Chapter 6
You're British, aren't you? 40 degrees Celsius is unbearably hot, but for Americans it's freezing. Like 4 degrees for us. Also they don't use "shed-load" or "dickhead", but it's lovely to hear some Britishisms. Or Australianisms? I don't know.
Anyway, I adore this story. This idea of them getting "accidentally" married is a brilliant framing device, and I feel the usual frustration at them for not just bloody telling the other one that they love them already.
I also have a guilty pleasure for stories that make Roy into an arsehole. Because he is, to be honest. Anyway, love the story and if you need a beta tester to flag the Britishisms, I'm right here.
Oh, and have a jellybean.
First of all, thank you very much for the review, and for the jellybean! I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far.
Secondly...damn. I must be getting lazy. I keep Merriam Webster open (and American Amazon, which has been really useful for checking names of objects, because they do sell absolutely everything), and I've been religiously checking everything I think might be an issue. I'm annoyed I missed the temperature, because I know this. I'll change that. I've actually heard dickhead used in the US, though I should probably have known that it isn't standard. I reckon Jim is a bit indie, and he probably watches a lot of British TV / listens to UK bands etc..., so I'll give him that one :o) But...you don't have sheds??
I'm in Scotland, where you have to catch a plane if you want to see 40C. It made 30 (ahem, 86) here for the first time in recorded history this summer. People didn't know whether to go out and have look at it or stay in and hide. It rained for the rest of the day.
P.S. I would have caught arsehole and bloody! Don't know how you all manage without the latter, to be honest...It's been frustrating not being able to use it here.
Date: November 21, 2019 11:55 pm Title: Chapter 1
Apologies for not being up to date with responding to your reviews! I've been busy agonising (doesn't cover it...) over this chapter and trying to get it to work for me, and took my eye off the ball. I can't tell you how much of an encouragement it is, that you've bothered to read this. and that you've taken the time to respond and to leave lovely comments.
I'm on it....
Date: November 21, 2019 11:49 pm Title: Chapter 6
Ugh. Roy is just the worst. The absolute worst. But also, this version of him is great - in that he’s interesting to read & adds a whole layer of angst to the whole thing. I can see this version of Roy playing out, with all the emotional manipulation, etc. I’m kind of glad they went with a softer version in the show, but this version of his reaction is so damn believable all the same...
Penny and Mark need to have a chat & then lock these two knuckleheads in a room & force then to talk... I’m really looking forward to seeing how you resolve things when we emerge from the angst...
Thanks Jenna! I also wouldn't have liked them to paint this picture of Roy in the show, but there were definitely warning lights flashing for me. But, ultimately it's comedy, and an an openly abusive Roy would have been too heavy for it, I think. Something that does stand out for me about show Roy is that he's possessive and jealous without actually having much interest in or consideration for Pam, what she wants or who she really is. I can actually see him cheating, and also fiercely defending his 'property', without actually caring very much for her.
Or I could be entirely wrong 80)
I've spent the best part of a week agonising about Roy's role in this...I'm off to do something fluffy now, before I fix the next chapter, which is also angsty. In the one after that there should be signs of how things might resolve, and the one after that should be the epilogue.
Much appreciation for taking your time to review!
Date: November 21, 2019 09:01 pm Title: Chapter 6
Yeah lots of heavy emotions there. You've captured the dance-around-their-true-feelings-Jim-and-Pam do from canon well. Their old nemesis of fear has a powerful hold on them. Both Mark and Penny are there telling them both to be honest with each other and they're still digging in their heels. Great writing, even if it's a bit frustrating waiting for them to get a clue.
Very devious with Roy there. Clearly he's not taking things well and he still has a few hooks in Pam. Personally I think Jim should tell her about the picture. A big jolt to her system might be what's needed for her to finally break things off 100%. I did like that Jim was able to evade the punch and that the other warehouse guys were there to keep things under control. But yeah, Jim's right, Roy should have been fired on the spot for the picture. Great job keeping everything going with this.
Hope it's not too frustrating!
I actually spent the last few days agonising about the picture, whether or not to keep it in or take it out, and what Jim's moral responsibility is here (and my moral responsibility in introducing the revenge porn incident, and how to tackle its implications.)
Thanks again. It's much appreciated.