1 [Report This]Date: September 03, 2020 08:02 pm Title: Chapter 12: In Which Pam Swears a Lot
*fight, fight, fight* Ohhhh I can’t wait. I really liked how you had Pam dissect her relationship with Roy and kind of come to the understanding that she’s been putting up with (and excusing) crap for a really long time.
Also, I love the Beeslys!!! Your dialogue for them is just so, so good.
Excited for the next one!
Author's Response: Thank you! I had a lot of fun with the Beeslys (there's nods to both Oscar Wilde and John Mulaney in there) and I'm glad you liked them!
Date: September 03, 2020 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 12: In Which Pam Swears a Lot
Ah, I love seeing Pam starting to get her fight face on.
Author's Response: Thanks! More to come, though we go back to Jim for the next chapter.
Date: September 03, 2020 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 12: In Which Pam Swears a Lot
Ok, so I'll start out saying I loved the Beesly's here. Helene raging against all things Roy. William calmly cooking brisket and ribs. Then stepping up with the fatherly duties. Both his attention to detail in cooking and eating well cooked BBQ. Plus 10 Dad points to William there. Seriously, I'm sure he's had a shotgun, 40 acres, and an alibi lined up since WELL before even the first hockey date. Add another 10 Dad points to William. And of course Penny being wonderful supportive Penny. Absolutly great to see that kind of family support.
Pam figuring taking in all that information and distilling it down to what it truly means. Roy doesn't care about her. He only cares that she's there to take care of him. Since Roy has someone to take care of him, he has no reason to care about anyone but himself, and thus the cycle continues. Yeah, enough to make anyone pissed.
Also a little moment there that I really loved. Pam refusing to think of Katy as "the Purse Girl." Lovely bit of parallel thinking between her and Jim.
If there's one thing I'm a little critical about it's the title of this chapter. Pam didn't swear once. At least not out loud. With that title and the set up of Pam emotions, I was kind of expecting a rightious anger explode out of Pam. The kind that would trigger a Michael Jackson eating popcorn gif as you watch Pam rightly unload on Roy. Kinda hoping we still see that. Figured I'd let you know. She thought swear words a couple times. Which for early seasons Pam could be considered a lot if you think about it.
Roy's still an ass and you write him being an ass really well. That part was great too.
Author's Response:
Thanks! Writing ass-Roy is my gift, what can I say.
I titled the chapter after realizing that I don't usually say "fuck" in any of Pam's chapters in S1, so it felt like a lot of swearing--but you're right, it was all in her head. Maybe that means a future chapter will have to have her swear out loud. Maybe it won't. You'll just have to see ;)
I'm glad you liked the Beeslys. I had fun writing them (there are nods to both John Mulaney and Oscar Wilde in there) and I thought the biggest thing that might help S1 Pam move on from Roy would be if her family was at her back. Thanks for the review!
Date: September 02, 2020 10:53 pm Title: Chapter 11: In Which Pam Makes a Phone Call
I thought that only season 3 material could hurt that much. I couldn't be more wrong.
I join Pam in her request to the universe; there was enough punching in the face. And the last hit was just... ugh.
But, to be honest, I was thrilled to see that glimpse of CN, and, even though I knew pretty well how Jim spent his evening, I hoped against hope that he showed up. Oh, well. But Penny was so lovely, and I'm glad that Pam had someone to talk about her troubles. And I'm glad that she was angry, not depressed and defeated. I really hope that this won't allow her to forgive Roy (or, at least, forgive him quickly).
I'm curious if Roy will notice Pam's absence, and if yes — how soon? That's terrible of me, but I hope he'll do something dumb that will simplify making The Decision for Pam...
Thank you!
Author's Response: I mean, I'm sorry to hurt you but glad I could? If that makes sense? I think you will enjoy this next chapter...at least I hope so! Thanks for the review!
Date: September 02, 2020 03:21 pm Title: Chapter 11: In Which Pam Makes a Phone Call
A big puzzle piece falling in place here. That Roy is an insensitve jerk. Hopefully she doens't stay to angry at Jim once he tells her everything that happened with Steve and Katy. Hopefully she also doesn't let Roy off the hook either. I mean here he just showed how little he's invested in their relationship. Good for Pam to keep going down the though line of Roy is a jerk. She is still kind of making excuses for him. "but that's Roy," over and over. But she was really hurt by him and what seemed to be intentional disregard for her feelings. Get out of there Pam.
Also you know me well, what with my long chapters and all. Though I do have two 1,000ish word per chapter stories too. What can I say I like delving into detail.
Looking forward to more as always.
Author's Response: Thank you! I decided while writing this that this is kind of like the snowball that starts an avalanche, or a butterfly flapping its wings to start a hurricane: Pam's just that little bit more annoyed at Roy, who's just that little bit more of a jerk, and things go haywire. Fast. As I think you'll see coming up...
Date: September 02, 2020 02:16 am Title: Chapter 10: In Which Jim Makes a Date
Ok, so an extra long chapter usually means we're in for a treat. So let's just dive in.
Jim's musings as he walks in sets the tone nicely. I also like that he wants to know her name, not just remember Katy as "The Purse Girl." Good job respectful Jim.
There's something really funny and very appropriate about thinking that Kevin needs to reboot after seeing Katy. His systems have crashed due to being overwhelmed. Great little piece there. Same goes for Michael when Jim points out their connection.
Really interesting scene there in the break room. Roy seems to be even more of an ass than he usually is. And being oblivious to Pam, which seems in keeping. I have to remind myself this Roy puts in minimum effort, which includes in guarding his mouth. Good on Pam for calling him out even more.
Kind of nice to set Katy up with Steve. Though Jim loses those brownie points for not telling Pam what he's up to. Seems like he's left himself up for some misinterpretation there.
Really looking forward to seeing what Pam thinks of all this. Great chapter. I've got a feeling the events played out here will really kick start more changes.
Author's Response:
Thank you! It's accurate that this is an extra long chapter for me, but also hilarious thinking about the contrast with something like, oh, I don't know, "Silver Wings," where this would be an "accidentally put it up 1/10 written" chapter.
I really appreciate all these specific comments: I hope you enjoy the changes that kickstart with the very next chapter and Pam's POV.
Date: September 02, 2020 12:42 am Title: Chapter 10: In Which Jim Makes a Date
I'm happy that Katy had a proper date with a man who was clearly interested in her not just because of her look (to be honest, Jim's behavior with any other girl he dated who was not Pam was rather... meh).
But otherwise, I felt so my compassion for Pam, I had a lump in my throat reading about her because this day everyone around her showed that she was not good enough, that she was always a second place. I think Pam, at this point, desperately needed validation, but instead, both people what important to her and people she didn't pay special attention to chose someone over her, and there was no one to stand by her. Perhaps, I took all of this too much to heart, but I felt like Pam was here at her lowest point. Good news: there's only one way left — up and up! Hope she'll find some strength to move forward...
Thank you for such a thought-provoking chapter, and sorry for my rambling.
P.S. And, as usual, after reading your chapters, I have to do a little research. I get a blue shell joke!!! Yay! Thanks to a random letsplayer on YouTube :DDD
Author's Response: Thank you! I agree that Jim was not the best boyfriend...so Katy can get a better one and also Pam can get a better life. Not a better Hot Girl day--that probably sucks worse--but, well, you'll see. Thank you for the review, and I'm glad you get the reference!
1 [Report This]Date: September 01, 2020 11:33 pm Title: Chapter 10: In Which Jim Makes a Date
Oh Michael. Not recognizing someone he’s done a play with has to make his list of lows.
“his type was very specifically one person.” This a great line. So very true when it comes to Jim (I’m overlooking the fact he actually dated Katy in canon because nope, this is a better narrative).
Aww, well that’s the sweetest twist ever! I am so here for Jim setting up Katy and Steve.
Author's Response:
It just still felt pretty Michael for me to have him forget her because, well, he didn't really pay attention to her as a person in the show, so...
And thank you! I'm always glad to provide heartwarming moments that open the way for more JAM...
Date: September 01, 2020 11:03 pm Title: Chapter 10: In Which Jim Makes a Date
I really love this take on Katy! It's totally realistic to think that he would want to make Pam a little jealous, especially after witnessing Roy being, well, Roy all day. I know he kind of does that in the actual Hot Girl episode, but this way he gets the reaction and also doesn't have to awkwardly break up with Katy on the Booze Cruise! Haha
Oh and the blue shell line at the end was awesome. I loved it so much.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm quite happy with getting Katy out of Jim's romantic life, and hopefully Pam will be too...
Date: September 01, 2020 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 10: In Which Jim Makes a Date
Well, I am officially a Staty shipper for life. You're a good friend, Jim Halpert.
It's a nice touch finding a way to spark Pam's jealousy while also actually leaving Jim available as Pam works through her feelings.
Author's Response: Well, this is a firmly Staty story, so I'm glad you're on the ship with me! Thank you for the review!
Date: September 01, 2020 05:12 pm Title: Chapter 9: In Which Pam Orders Dinner
I'm with Pam here, the "competitive" side of Roy should definitely not be seen in any setting, at least not in the form we've seen it here!
I do like that Pam is taking time to paint still, even in the middle of these frustrating and confusing situations.
So I guess Hot Girl is coming up eh? I'm excited to see how that goes, you know that episode has a special place in my heart.
Sorry to review bomb, I've been busy and just now got all caught up!
Author's Response: Hot Girl it is indeed: there's a lot going on in my changed Hot Girl, so I hope you enjoy it. And I'm going to reply to all those reviews, so you get a counterbomb... thanks for them, I appreciate knowing your thoughts!
Date: September 01, 2020 05:08 pm Title: Chapter 8: In Which Trash Is Talked
All in all a pretty canon compliant chapter, though the added trash talk was a nice touch.
Author's Response: Yeah, I just wanted to get that little extra dig in; the rest is just setting up the emotional arc, which is still canon-adjacent if not totally compliant.
Date: September 01, 2020 04:55 pm Title: Chapter 7: In Which Pam Paints
Ah yes, Dwight's implicit trust of faxes...
Pam's and the "You can tell me anything" works well in this context.
I love that Pam is inspired to paint Dwight's disbelief, I hope she gets to share.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad this repurposing worked for you!
Date: September 01, 2020 04:49 pm Title: Chapter 6: In Which Caffeine is Provided
Jim and Pam syncing up with saving the prank by getting rid of the picture was really sweet.
Dwight's comments on fanfic were just right on point, that got a good chuckle.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad I could make you chuckle!
Date: September 01, 2020 04:38 pm Title: Chapter 5: In Which Pam Has a Quiet Evening At Home
Ouch, Pam's thought process and avoidance of thinking about getting a date set for the wedding really struck a chord.
Roy not getting the prank is just another reminder that Pam and him are on different wavelengths, and one can't help but wonder when they'll open their eyes and see the destructive interference that causes (physics analogies!? I guess I'm just in that mood).
Author's Response: I like the analogies! I guess that makes actual S9 Jim a wave of light, capable of interfering with himself? Thanks for the review!
Date: September 01, 2020 04:35 pm Title: Chapter 4: In Which A Secret Is Revealed (But Not To Us)
I love the insight that a third party can give to Jim, Steve's take on Pam's feelings from the day of the prank is a great perspective.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm having fun with letting Jim get a little different life because he knows Steve, including the perspective.
Date: September 01, 2020 07:55 am Title: Chapter 9: In Which Pam Orders Dinner
Ah, blessed context for the tub comments.
I think the slow process of Pam figuring out what's going on in her own head on Roy and Jim is working well and paced just right.
Author's Response: Yeah, I hate that comment. A lot. So I changed it. I'm glad you like the pacing! Thanks for the review!
Date: August 31, 2020 11:44 pm Title: Chapter 9: In Which Pam Orders Dinner
It's nice to see that Pam started to think of Roy's imperfections as a part of character instead of little quirks. And it's both great that she was not okay with that and so sad that she was enduring that for quite a long time, trying not to notice.
Another part — her thoughts of Jim and this slow realization that her attitude toward Jim was so much different from the rest of their coworkers. I like that she didn't just jump to the conclusion (this or that) but that this exploration of her thoughts and feelings is gradual.
And also thank you for saving Pam from having a bath with Roy! Spending this time with watercolors was much better for her!
Author's Response: Yeah, the slow exploration is important (though this next episode, Hot Girl, will be some faster exploration...). Thanks for the review!
Date: August 31, 2020 06:21 pm Title: Chapter 9: In Which Pam Orders Dinner
Another puzzle piece falling for Pam here. I really like that she's starting to think about all these things. Also that she's starting to realize that things aren't as good as she might have thought with Roy. She shouldn't have to apologize for him, make excuses for him, or any of that.
What might have been attractive as a high schooler is now just immature. Good to see that kind of reasoning become more prominent.
Author's Response: Yeah, there's a lot of slow progress I want to build up inside Pam (though this next episode, Hot Girl, will be some faster progress), so these little updates are there to mark it. Thanks for the review!
1 [Report This]Date: August 31, 2020 05:21 pm Title: Chapter 6: In Which Caffeine is Provided
Okay, I loved this chapter. I mean, I’ve loved them all and the idea of making Asian Jim the center of a storyline is awesome. But I’m always down for these kind of JAM interactions. The banter and the tiny details Jim remembers and knows about Pam are my favorite and you did a great job with it. Can’t wait to keep reading!
Author's Response: Thank you! I have a lot of fun with these two, so it's a pleasure to sprinkle some of that into what is turning into a more angsty story than I had thought initially...
Date: August 31, 2020 11:16 am Title: Chapter 8: In Which Trash Is Talked
Lots of tension here. This feels like the usual tension between Roy and Jim has been turned up a notch. The way I viewed Roy in S1 and S2 was that he knew Jim and Pam were good friends, but he was never threatened by Jim. Roy's ring was on Pam's finger so what was there to worry about.
This chapter though seems like Roy is flexing his muscle a bit. Literally and figurativly. The trash talk, popping Jim in the face, cuddling with Pam on Jim's desk. In a subtley that usually seems rare for Roy, it seems he's at the same time challenging Jim to try something and also threatening Jim that any challenge from Jim won't go anywhere.
Considering this if from Jim's POV that's great writing to bring that out. Or maybe because it's Jim's POV, that's the feeling we get from Jim who is more subtle than Roy. So could it be Jim is reading into things that the usual Roy is doing by accident?
Maybe it's both. What is true is this was a great chapter to bring all that out. Well done my friend.
Author's Response: Thank you! My personal read on Roy is that after The Alliance (and this is just after that episode) he gets a little more wary until Jim gets a girlfriend in Hot Girl (which we will absolutely be getting to very soon). And here I think he's also jealous, both of Pam noticing Jim (the prank activates that a bit, I think) and of Jim getting to be lazy. So that's how I got to where you see him. Thanks for the review!
Date: August 31, 2020 01:36 am Title: Chapter 8: In Which Trash Is Talked
I laughed aloud at the chapter's title, but, otherwise, I felt rather sad reading it. It felt like Jim's efforts ended up with nothing, and Roy won this round. Ugh. I hope that Pam noticed Jim during the game and after.
'But to him it was just a reminder that Roy didn't get his pranks—and that Pam, who did, had chosen to be with a guy like that.' It's a bitter line, but, I guess when she'd chosen that, there wasn't too much choice for her...
Author's Response: Yeah, this story has some angst to go through before the happy turn. I do promise it's coming though...thanks for the review!
Date: August 30, 2020 12:01 pm Title: Chapter 7: In Which Pam Paints
I feel like there's a puzzle taking shape with Pam here. What with her love of logic puzzles and all. There's another piece falling into place here. Namely her musings as to why she felt off when Jim wasn't in the office. The thing about this puzzle is that while the pieces are coming together, the box cover to show what the completed picture will be has been placed face down on the table. So when the puzzle is complete and Pam finally realizes she had deeper than friendship feelings for Jim it's going to shock her. That is until she pushes the box cover upright and sees the picture's been like that this whole time.
Other than that, lovely chapter. Great introspection as usual.
Author's Response: Thank you! It's a good metaphor. I think the key for me to writing S1 Pam is that it has to be this kind of slow build--she's just not where S3 or even late S2 Pam is, and it takes her a little bit to get there...
Date: August 29, 2020 10:56 pm Title: Chapter 7: In Which Pam Paints
It's a pity that Pam still couldn't articulate her thoughts and feelings, but that's totally understandable. But it's nice that she acknowledged the fact that days with Jim around are better. Another point in the list 'Things I have to reconsider about Jim,' I guess.
'You can tell me anything.'
Oh boy, isn't that a line from 'Drug Testing'?? I wonder if Pam'd seen his face at that moment, what thought they might have provoked?
The fact that she could paint only when Roy is away is a serious warning that something is off, I think. It's okay to have different interests from your SO, but in this case... doing things that you like sneakingly, 'as long as she cleaned up the living room before Roy got home'. Yep, something is definitely off.
I found the theme of the painting endearing, and I hope Pam will find a way to show it.
'And that had to count for something, didn't it?'
I don't know why but it hurts, it hurts very much (maybe, that has to do something with low self-esteem). I hope things will go better for her...
Author's Response: Thank you! That is a line from Drug Testing! I decided I could just move things around since the situation is slightly different anyway because of the moved S9 prank. Thank you for noticing all the little details, as always...it's nice to be read that closely.
Date: August 29, 2020 08:49 pm Title: Chapter 7: In Which Pam Paints
"How did you tell someone you could recognize them blindfolded and muffled without making it sound like you meant something more intense than what she intended?" Oh, Pam.
I also loved the line about not being able to teach Jimness.
Author's Response: Thank you! We're still definitely in angst- and misunderstanding-land, but I do promise we will start moving in another direction soon (though not in this next update).