Rejected Cold Opens by darjeelingandcoke
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Summary: Some of the greatest cold opens to ever come out of the writersí room of The Office never actually made it onto our TVs. A recent hack of the personal emails of several NBC executives from that time have unearthed these lost classics, and revealed why we didnít get to see them.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Present, Episode Related
Characters: Andy, Angela, Creed, Darryl, Dwight, Dwight/Angela, Ensemble, Erin, Gabe, Jim, Jim/Karen, Jim/Pam, Karen, Kelly, Kevin, Meredith, Michael, Oscar, Pam, Phyllis, Ryan, Ryan/Kelly, Stanley, Toby
Genres: Humor, Workdays
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Challenges: None
Parent Series: None
Series Type: Closed

10 Stories
Rated: K [Reviews - 11] 15
Summary: "About five weeks after Jim started at Dunder Mifflin, he and Dwight went 15 hours and 42 minutes of work time without fighting. We haven’t come within a full workday of that record since… until now."

(A cold open circa S4. #1 in the Rejected Cold Opens series.)
Categories: Jim and Pam, Episode Related
Characters: Dwight, Jim, Jim/Pam, Kevin, Oscar, Pam, Phyllis
Genres: Humor
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1273 Read Count: 585 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: August 15, 2020 Updated: August 15, 2020
Rated: K [Reviews - 8] 8
Summary: A prank years in the making finally comes to fruition. Pam convinces Jim to live his dreams. Erin makes $10 doing something Kelly and Andy would’ve done for free. And Angela reveals some surprising depths. A cold open, circa Season 6. #2 in the Rejected Cold Opens series.
Categories: Other, Present
Characters: Andy, Angela, Dwight, Ensemble, Erin, Jim, Jim/Pam, Kelly, Meredith, Pam
Genres: Humor
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1880 Read Count: 781 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: September 22, 2020 Updated: September 22, 2020
Rated: T [Reviews - 7] 8
Summary: Dunder Mifflin has a lot of employees who might be considered a liability. But are any of them actually capable of… murder?

Their co-workers say yes.

(A cold open circa Season 6. #3 in the Rejected Cold Opens series).

WARNING: There are comedic references to the death of an animal in this fic. No graphic description (or any - I would say there's nothing here near as disturbing as Sprinkles' death in canon), but if that’s a trigger you might want to give this a miss.
Categories: Other
Characters: Andy, Angela, Darryl, Dwight, Ensemble, Erin, Jim, Kelly, Kevin, Meredith, Michael, Oscar, Pam, Phyllis, Ryan, Stanley, Toby
Genres: Humor, Workdays
Warnings: Major Character Death, Possible Triggers, Violence/Injury
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1594 Read Count: 375 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: September 26, 2020 Updated: September 26, 2020
Rated: K+ [Reviews - 13] 18
Summary: Past Featured StoryJim’s been visiting reception five (or 10, or 15…) times a day for years. It turns out it’s become a reflex, and one it will take some work to get rid of now that Pam sits next to him. She’s got a plan, though. (Also: the story of how Jim lost his virginity.)

Jam-flavored fluff set post-Michael Scott Paper Company arc. #4 in the Rejected Cold Openings Series.
Categories: Jim and Pam
Characters: Erin, Jim, Jim/Pam, Pam
Genres: Fluff, Humor, Workdays
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1694 Read Count: 934 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: October 19, 2020 Updated: October 19, 2020
Rated: K [Reviews - 9] 13
Summary: “Healthy ecosystems all have a natural balance. If you take something important out of the ecosystem, that balance falls apart, and the consequences for its inhabitants can be disastrous.”

Jim’s on a sales call. Pam’s taking a sick day. Karen’s getting a taste of life in the Scranton branch ecosystem with them gone. A cold open set mid-Season 3. #5 in the Rejected Cold Openings series.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Past
Characters: Dwight, Ensemble, Jim/Karen, Jim/Pam, Karen, Kelly, Michael, Oscar, Phyllis, Ryan, Stanley
Genres: Humor, Oneshot, Workdays
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1612 Read Count: 513 ePub Downloads: 2
[Report This] Published: October 25, 2020 Updated: October 25, 2020
Rated: K [Reviews - 6] 7
Summary: Jim and Pam have been in the pranking game for a long time, and their schemes usually go off without a hitch.

Usually.

A cautionary tale of a cold open circa late S2. #6 in the Rejected Cold Opens series.
Categories: Other, Jim and Pam, Past
Characters: Dwight, Jim, Jim/Pam, Michael, Pam, Stanley
Genres: Humor, Workdays
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2506 Read Count: 511 ePub Downloads: 1
[Report This] Published: November 29, 2020 Updated: November 29, 2020
Rated: K [Reviews - 8] 19
Summary:
Gabe has a very special new mug. For totally unrelated reasons, Erin needs Pam’s help with… something! In the kitchen! Right now!

A cold open from the second half of Season 7. #7 in the Rejected Cold Opens series.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Episode Related
Characters: Erin, Gabe, Jim, Jim/Pam, Pam
Genres: Drama, Horror, Humor, Kids/Family, Suspense, Workdays
Warnings: Other Adult Theme
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2657 Read Count: 331 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: April 30, 2021 Updated: April 30, 2021
Rated: T [Reviews - 7] 10
Summary: Kelly talks a lot, so she’s learned to just tune herself out. Jim and Pam… have a different strategy.

A cold open set in late Season 2. #8 in the Rejected Cold Opens series. Spoilers for Season 2 of Grey’s Anatomy. And also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAX.
Categories: Jim and Pam, Other, Past
Characters: Jim, Jim/Pam, Kelly, Pam, Ryan/Kelly
Genres: Humor, Workdays
Warnings: Adult language
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2255 Read Count: 340 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: September 25, 2021 Updated: September 25, 2021
Rated: K [Reviews - 21] 21
Summary: …did I stutter?

The cold open (well… really the B-story) that might have been for The Deposition. #9 in the Rejected Cold Opens series.
Categories: Past, Jim and Pam, Episode Related, Other
Characters: Angela, Darryl, Dwight, Dwight/Angela, Ensemble, Jim, Jim/Pam, Michael, Other, Pam
Genres: Claustrophobic Spaces, Humor, Workdays
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 3260 Read Count: 557 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: October 04, 2021 Updated: October 04, 2021
Rated: K+ [Reviews - 7] 8
Summary: Well, sort of. Which Dunder Mifflinite gets this high praise? The answer may surprise you… for a minute. A totally meshuganah cold open set mid-Season 5. #10 in the Rejected Cold Opens series.
Categories: Past, Other
Characters: Creed, Dwight, Jim, Pam, Phyllis
Genres: Humor, Workdays
Warnings: Possible Triggers
Series: Rejected Cold Opens
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 1262 Read Count: 218 ePub Downloads: 0
[Report This] Published: November 02, 2021 Updated: November 02, 2021