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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: Hi guys.  This story is un-beta'd, and I'm pretty sure there are some major things wrong with it (a major overdose of sugar, for one thing) but I'm sick of looking at it so here it is for your reading pleasure (or not).  All comments welcome!

 

"Good god, woman!  Get those ice blocks off of me!"

"Sorry, Dwight."

"I'm sorry, but your feet are freezing!"

"Well, it's your fault.  You're the one who keeps his thermostat set at 'arctic'."

"It's 90 degrees out!"

"Yes, but in here it's 90 below.  Oooh, wait! Rewind that...I missed what he said."

Jim sighed with mock exasperation and reached for the remote.  He hit pause.

"Actually, I've missed the whole scene, thanks to you, Miss Frozen Feet.  We'll have to watch the entire thing again."

Pam gave him an endearing smile. 

"You know you love me."

Jim couldn't resist her when she looked at him like that.  Actually, he couldn't resist her, period.

"Yes, I suppose I do."

They grinned at each other for a moment, still happy even after two months just to be together.  Two happy, breathtaking, and sometimes terrifying months.  Jim still had trouble believing it was true--he sometimes wondered if he would wake up to find it had all been a dream.  Or, worse, that Pam had changed her mind.  He loved her, and he knew that she loved him (he did--he did know that),  but all the same there were moments when he was utterly paralyzed by the fear that he could still lose it all.

This, however, was not one of those moments.

It was a Wednesday night, and they had opted to stay in after a long day at work.  Currently they were holed up in Jim's apartment, trying to watch Lucky Number Slevin for the third time.  It wasn't that it was a bad movie, Jim reflected.  It was just that when he and Pam were alone together, they seemed to get sidetracked rather easily.  So tonight they had vowed to get all the way through the movie, no excuses.  And that meant sitting on opposite ends of the couch.  Which meant that Pam was in a perfect position to tuck her rather chilly toes under Jim's legs.

"I do love you," he finally said.  "But I do not love having my legs threatened by frostbite.  Why don't you put on some socks?  Then you can put your feet on me all you like."

"I wore sandals over here.  I don't have any socks."

"You can borrow some of mine, but only if you'll pay to have them dry cleaned."

Pam laughed.

"Deal."

Jim started to stand up, but Pam put her hand on his arm.

"Wait.  What if I get the socks, and you go make us some toast?"

"Cinnamon?"

"Well, you know you do make the best cinnamon toast I've ever had..."  She clasped her hands together and batted her eyelashes up at him.

"You know, flattery will get you nowhere with me..." 

But Jim was already halfway to the kitchen.  He looked over his shoulder to see Pam bouncing on the couch, clapping her hands with delight.

"Yay!"

"Go get your socks, Ice Princess.  Top drawer."

"Okay."

Pam sprang up off the couch and headed towards the stairs leading to the bedroom loft.  Jim could hear her footsteps above as he entered the kitchen.  He couldn't help grinning inwardly at the mental image of her in a t-shirt, shorts, and kneesocks which were bound to be about ten sizes too large for her.  The image was very cute, and somehow at the same time oddly sexy.

Get a grip, Halpert.  Still have about half an hour in the movie to go.

He shook his head and set his focus on the task before him. 

He was buttering the third piece of bread when it hit him what he had just done. 

Oh, shit!

Panic taking over completely, Jim threw down his knife and made a mad dash for the stairs.  He had no idea what he was going to say to her, but he knew he had to stop her from opening that drawer at all costs.  His only hope was that she had decided to use the bathroom first.

It only took him a few seconds to reach the top of the stairs, but he saw immediately that he was already too late.  Pam stood frozen in front of the dresser, her mouth slightly agape as she stared at the small box in her hands.  Jim got the distinct impression she had been holding that pose for some time.  

After a few moments, Pam finally looked up and held out the open box to him.

"Jim, what is this?"

Oh, god.  It was over.  It was all over.  He grasped desperately for a viable story, but could think of nothing to tell her but the truth.  He took a deep breath.

"It's an engagement ring."

"Yes, I can see that.  But what is it doing in your sock drawer?"

"Please don't freak out."

Pam looked back down at the ring.  She couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from it for long.

"I'm not freaking out.  I don't think.  But I don't understand...is it...?"  She couldn't seem to finish the question, but Jim didn't need her to.

"Yes.  It's for you.  But I swear, I wasn't planning on giving it to you yet."

"When...were you...going to to give it to me?  Jim, it's barely been two months..."  Her voice was weak.

"I know."  Jim took a step towards her.  "I know that.  I know you're not ready for this, Pam.  I didn't mean for you to know I had it."  He kept talking, desperate for her to understand.  "I know it's weird that I have a ring already, but I was shopping last month and I saw it and I just thought it was perfect.  For you, I mean.  I knew you'd love it.  And I don't know...it was just an impulse.  I..."

Oh, god, I am screwing this up so badly.

Pam still looked completely stunned.

"You bought this a month ago?"

"Yes, but..."

She cut him off, piercing him with her eyes.

"You...knew...a month ago?"

He didn't need a translator to understand her meaning.  He took a deep breath and returned her gaze.  He couldn't lie to her.  All he could do was tell the truth and pray it didn't scare her away.

"Pam, I've always known."

There.  It was all out there, for better or worse.  (No pun intended.)  A few painful moments passed in silence as they stared at each other across the gulf of his bedroom.

Pam finally ended the moment by looking back down at the ring.

"When were you going to give it to me?" she asked, her voice low and broken.

Jim shrugged.

"I was going to try to hold out for at least six months.  Christmas, if I could stand it."

Pam looked back down at the ring, running her finger over the diamonds.

"Christmas," she whispered.

Jim stood his ground, trying to take comfort in the fact that she wasn't running just yet.  If he could just convince her that he knew she needed time...that he understood...and that he wasn't trying to put any pressure on her...

Her voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"It's such a beautiful ring," she said, contemplative.  Then she looked up at him, a small smile on her lips.  "Jim, I don't think I can wait until Christmas to wear this."

He was completely stunned.  Surely he had misunderstood her meaning.

"What?"

"Will you give it to me now?  I don't want to wait," she said.

"Pam..."  Now Jim was the one at a loss.  "I don't understand."

Now Pam's smile was an all-out grin.

"It's not hard, Jim.  First, you get on one knee, and ask me to marry you.  I say yes, and put the ring on this finger, and then at some point in the hopefully near future we get married, have babies, and grow old together."

Jim could only stare at her, speechless.

"Okay, you have to give me a second on this," he finally sputtered.  His knees felt weak, so he took a few steps over to the bed and sat down.  "This is totally not the reaction I thought I was going to get from you," he said, looking up at her.

"What do you mean?" she asked, her smile fading.  She put the ring down on the dresser and came to sit down next to him.  "How did you think I was going to react?"

"I thought...I was afraid it would send you running," Jim said honestly.  "I didn't think you were as...deep...into this as I was."

It was a lame way to put it, but he knew she would understand.

"Why did you think that?  Don't you know how much I love you?"

"I don't know...it's hard to explain," he said.  "I knew you loved me, but I just felt like sometimes you were holding back a little bit.  I thought it was because you'd never been in another serious relationship besides Roy, and that maybe you were scared or something.  I was hoping that if I gave you time..."

He shrugged and looked down at his hands.

Beside him, Pam giggled.

"Jim, we have got to stop doing this!"

He looked at her.

"What do you mean?"

She took both of his hands in hers and took a deep breath.

"We've got to stop trying to guess what the other's feeling or thinking, and just talk about it.  God, Jim.  I've been holding back because I thought you were holding back!"

"What?" Jim said.  "Why would I hold back?  I'm crazy about you--always have been.  You know that."

"Yes, but I also know that I hurt you really badly.  I made such huge mistakes, and I thought maybe you were still a little gun-shy.  Afraid to trust me or something.  I thought I was giving you time."

Jim looked at her, incredulous.

"So you mean...all those times you went home instead of spending the night here...?"

"I was desperately hoping you'd ask me to stay," she finished for him.  "And the time you went to visit your grandmother and didn't invite me along to meet her?"

"I was trying not to put pressure on you," he said.

They stared at each other for a moment, and then they were both laughing.

"Oh, my god," Pam giggled.  "We are so ridiculous."

"Yep, I think ridiculous about covers it," Jim smiled.  "You know what else is ridiculous?"

"What?"

"It's ridiculous how much I love you."

Pam rolled her eyes, but her grin still stretched from ear to ear.

"What's ridiculous is how cheesy you can be sometimes," she teased.

"Cheesy, huh?  I'll show you cheesy."

And with that nonsensical statement Jim attacked her, pushing her back onto the bed and covering her mouth with his own.  Pam pretended to struggle for a moment, then surrendered, putting her arms around him and pulling him closer. They stayed locked together like that for a while, and for Jim it was better than it had ever been (which was pretty fucking great), because now he felt no fear.  No fear that she would leave him, or change her mind.  No fear that she didn't love him as much as he loved her.  And he could tell that Pam was feeling the same sense of release.

She gave a contented sigh as he trailed his lips across her face and down to the sensitive spot behind her ear.

"Jim," she whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"I really don't think so," Jim murmurred, moving his hand up to gently caress her breast.  She gave a small gasp, and he grinned into her neck.  But Pam was not to be so easily distracted.

"The ring, Jim.  I still want the ring."

Jim pulled back, propping himself up on his elbow.

"Wow.  I never knew you were so materialistic, Beesly."

"Shut up!"  She slapped his shoulder and giggled.  "That is so not what I meant, and you know it."

"I certainly hope not.  After all, I am but a humble paper salesman.  I hope you're not expecting marble mansions and diamond tiaras."

"Lucky for you, I am not a tiara kind of girl."

"Thank god."

"But I do like that ring.  And I'm rather fond of the man that comes with it, too."

Jim looked at her seriously.

"I want nothing more than to give you that ring, Pam.  But this is not exactly the setting I had in mind."

"Oh, really?  What did you have in mind?"

"Well, nothing specific yet, but I'm sure it would have involved flowers and candlelight and champagne.  You know, something romantic?  Certainly not my brightly lit apartment, with my dirty laundry in pile a few feet away, Lucky Number Slevin on pause in the living room and partially buttered toast sitting on the kitchen counter."

Pam smiled and reached out to touch his face.

"What if I don't care?  What if I just want to be engaged to you?"

Jim considered this for a moment, watching her eyes.

"Are you sure?"  Somehow he couldn't manage more than a whisper.  "It has only been two months."

Pams eyes were suddenly glassy with tears.

"I'm sure," she said, quietly but firmly.  "We've only been together for two months, but you've been my best friend for almost five years.  And I've been in love with you for most of that time, despite my actions to the contrary.  So yes, I'm sure, Jim."

He nodded, swallowing the huge lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat.

"Okay."

Although he was not entirely sure his legs would support him, Jim pushed himself up off the bed and walked over to the dresser.  He took the ring out of the box, and turned around.  Pam was still on the bed, but now she was sitting up at the edge.  Her hair was mussed, her Scranton High t-shirt faded, her denim shorts frayed.  Her hands were twisting nervously in her lap, but she was smiling trustingly up at him and Jim thought she had never looked so beautiful.

Could this possibly be happening?  Suddenly the evening had taken on a very surreal quality.  Jim found it took all his courage to take those few steps across the room and kneel before her.  He felt her eyes watching his every move, burning into him.  He kept his gaze lowered, afraid that if he looked up, that courage would fail him.

You idiot, she said she would say yes.  She asked you to do this!

Yeah, but still...

You're ridiculous.

He had always imagined that when this moment came, he would have a long, wonderful speech prepared to woo her with.  Right now, it was all he could do to speak a few simple words. 

He lifted his head and met her gaze.

"Pam Beesly, will you marry me?"

She smiled through her tears and nodded.

"Yes."

***********

In the end, it took them five tries to finally finish Lucky Number Slevin.



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