Same disclaimer...

*** 

Half of the lights in the office were still dark when Pam arrived. She hadn't slept well; her new bed felt cold and empty after the night she'd spent with Roy. She'd decided to come on into work early and get some filing done before the phones started ringing. Since the two branches had merged, the phones were much busier and Pam found that she actually had to work for a much greater percentage of each day. 

The shadowy stillness didn't really help her, though. Much like her bedroom in the night, the quiet office gave her mind too much space to run. She thought about Roy, and Jim, and Karen. She thought about Craig and wondered if Roy and Jim were the only good guys out there. She'd ruined things with both of them. Pam filed invoices and thought about choices and didn't hear the elevator. 

"You're here early, Pam." Any other voice would have made her jump a foot, but not Jim's.

She turned to him and noticed that he looked like he'd slept as poorly as she had. "You, too."   

He nodded but didn't smile. He turned to put his things on his desk, but just as quickly turned back to face her. "Can I ask you something?" On her nod, he continued. "I heard- I mean. Are you back with Roy?" 

"No." Pam wasn't sure why he was asking, but something in Jim's tone made her pulse race. Her forehead contracted in confusion as a look of relief- sheer relief- passed over his features. 

Jim nodded. "Okay. It's none of my business, but I-" he trailed off. "Okay." He turned around and sat down at his desk.  

Pam watched the back of Jim's neck and wondered if anyone had ever looked so tired. Her blood pounded faintly in her temples and along her throat as she started to speak. "It was, um, Wednesday, about a week and a half after...after you left, one of Stanley's clients had sent a fruit basket as a thank-you gift. He didn't want it, so he left it here for everyone." Pam placed a hand up onto the counter, next to the candy dish.

"I was bored so I started to sketch it. I was sketching the orange and the apple first. Michael saw my sketch and immediately announced that I was drawing 'boobs'."

Pam's heart pounded even harder when Jim turned his head just a little bit. "All day, he kept it up. He just wouldn't give it up. He just went on and on, and Dwight encouraged him, and Angela was...it was a really bad day." Pam drew a deep breath. "When I got home, I tried to tell Roy about it. He didn't make a joke, he didn't sympathize. He just said, 'I guess that proves you're wasting your time on that art stuff if an apple and an orange looked like boobs.'“

Jim finally turned his head and looked at Pam. His features were perfectly still. She forced herself to look directly into his eyes as she finished. “I cried myself to sleep that night and in the morning I called off the wedding. It was such a stupid little thing, but it made me realize…anyway. I’m not back with Roy. Saturday night was a mistake- Roy’s not the one I’m in love with.” 

Jim just stared at her. With one slow nod, he turned back to his computer. Pam felt the tears surge to her eyes- not a word? He had nothing to say? 

And then, he did. 

He still sat with his back toward her as his voice cut quietly through the gloominess. “Whatever did or didn’t happen with us, Pam…I’m glad you didn’t marry him. He was never…never good enough for you.”   

**** 

The night before, Karen had felt better. She could sense that Jim was conflicted, but their long talk over pepperoni and cheese had convinced her that he was willing to try. This morning, though, from the moment she’d entered the office, she could sense something had shifted. He seemed so sad. Karen braced herself; she thought the sadness might be contagious.