As Jim bundled up and walked out to his car on a chilly December morning, he suddenly remembered what was planned for today: The infamous Christmas Party.
He didn't mind parties. Jim found himself surprisingly cheery during his ride on the elevator. But all that was soon to change when he strode through the doorway of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton.
The office was beautifully decorated, with colored lights and holly everywhere. But a quick glance at the Reception desk quickly brought back haunting memories from Christmas parties past.
"Are you sure you don't want the teapot?"
"Well, I mean, it's an iPod..."
The heartbreak and disappointment of that December night ultimately led to a newfound hope as Pam gave up her iPod to trade back the gift he picked out for her, the gift that he had spent too many nights thinking about.
Does she still use it? Were the inside jokes too personal? Too revealing? Does my yearbook picture still make her laugh? he wondered, the bittersweet memory coming to life again, a year later.
His memory came to an abrupt halt as Dwight paraded in the office, loudly proclaiming a Christmas miracle. Somehow, Jim was not too interested, the memory still holding him in its cold grasp. Jim was kind of in a daze the whole day, still transfixed by the teapot and the card. The card he took away. He wondered how lame it was to be obsessing over a teapot. He dismissed the thought, not wanting to think about it anymore.
He was quickly pulled out of his daze as Karen came up and sat on the corner of his desk.
"Merry Christmas, Halpert."
Karen had taken a liking to calling him "Halpert". He wasn't so fond of it. Maybe because Pam called him that, before that night...The kiss changed everything. Jim snapped himself back to attention. You have a girlfriend, Jim. Pull yourself together.
"Merry Christmas to you as well." he replied, giving her a halfhearted smile. He turned around. "What is going on in Michael's office?"
He heard the door slam as Carol stormed out, followed by a strain of what he was pretty sure was James Blunt.
"I have no idea. Michael is just weird." Karen replied. After a prolonged silence, she got up and returned to her desk.
Jim's natural instinct was to pull a prank on Dwight, or better yet, go get some jelly beans from Pam's desk and gossip about Michael's latest antics, but he nixed both ideas quickly. Things just weren't the same. He wondered if they ever could be. He decided that no, Casino Night changed everything forever. He and Pam could either move on with their relationship or stay in a standstill, wanting to move on but not knowing how.
Not that she would ever want him back. He remembered her exact words. She "can't." Those words had been ringing in his head ever since she uttered them in the parking lot on that breezy summer night. She can't, can't, can't. But he clung on to the hope that formed at the question in her words. She said it like "I can't?" Of course, now, she technically could. She wasn't engaged anymore. He desperately wanted to know why.
"Psst. Jim?"
Her voice, from behind him, rescued him from his thoughts. He was elated and surprised that she was talking to him, much less giving him a Christmas present.
"For the past few weeks, I've been sending Dwight letters from the CIA."
He laughed, somewhat surprised that she'd initiated a prank herself. Usually, he was the mastermind and she the accomplice. But then again, this is the Fancy New Beesly, he thought.
"Are you serious?" he laughed, pleased with her handiwork.
They continued talking for a while, but a sinking feeling set in the pit of his stomach as she smiled, proud that he was impressed.
I can't do this. I can't fall into her trap again, as pleasant it may be. I need to move on. I need to move on.
He made up a lame excuse about his promotion, although his position at Dunder-Mifflin had absolutely nothing to do with this. He needed desperately to move on.
He felt something in his heart break as he watched her face fall with disappointment.
I can't do this anymore.
Story Notes:
Spoilers through Season Three. My first story, bear with me!
Title from "Bullet" by Mat Kearney.
Title from "Bullet" by Mat Kearney.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
My first story, bear with me. Constructive criticism is nice! Thanks.
My first story, bear with me. Constructive criticism is nice! Thanks.
Chapter End Notes:
The second half of the episode will come later. I haven't decided if I want to do it from Pam's viewpoint, too. Feedback is lovely! Thanks for reading.
