The first few weeks of living with Jim were awkward. Pam knew what she got herself into when she moved her things into the spare bedroom. She realized that she would have to see him everyday and walk home with him from work. She felt like she had just started a relationship with a guy she hadn’t kissed in almost a year. She wanted to desperately, but decided that whenever they were ready to go down that path, they would both know.

Pam’s room was her haven. It allowed her to paint and do her sketches in privacy. She liked that whenever she was in her room, Jim would leave her alone. He respected her space and she did so with his as well. They got along well and took turns making dinner or taking each other out. Pam found herself daydreaming about what it would be like if they were a married couple. She could see him sitting at the table next to her holding her hand, holding each other as they watched a movie, and playing with their children in the living room. Pam always turned her thoughts away from these images, knowing that it might not happen that way.

“Mornin’ Pam,” Jim said as he adjusted his tie in the kitchen as she was pouring some coffee.

“Good morning,” she said as she sat down at the counter in her pajamas.

“Do you want me to make something to eat or do you want to fend for yourself?”

“I think I can find something unless you wanted to make something.”

“Okay. Well, I could make some omelets. What do you think?”

“That sounds great. Let me go get my clothes on for work and I’ll be back out to help. On my omelet all I want is…..”

“…..cheese, ham, and bell peppers,” Jim said as he was digging the ingredients out of the refrigerator.

Pam turned and smiled even though he wasn’t looking at her. She was surprised he remembered. Then again, he had made her an omelet a few times.

-----

Pam started work that day with a full belly and a work load that could kill. She was grateful for the distraction when the phone rang.

“Pam Beesly’s desk.”

“Hey Pam!”

“Who’s this?”

“I can’t believe you’ve already forgotten about me.”

“Ben? Is that you?”

“Yeah. How have you been?”

“Great! What’s new with you?”

“Instead of talking over the phone, why don’t we go to dinner tonight?”

“You’re in town?”

“I’m visiting family again and decided to skip out on them and see you. What do you say?”

“I would love that Ben.”

“Great. Meet me at Frank and Tom’s at seven thirty?

“That sounds perfect.”

“See you then Pam.”

Pam was excited to see Ben. He had become a close friend over the four months that they had interned together. He was a great guy and she had even thought about a relationship with him at one time. As soon as work let out, she met Jim in the lobby to walk home.

When she saw Jim standing there in the lobby with his briefcase and coat, her heart sank. She felt guilty for making plans to go out with another guy and leave Jim at home. She wasn’t even dating Jim and it made her sick to think about hurting his feelings. She walked up and he smiled at her.

“Are you feeling okay Pam? You have this weird look on your face.”

Pam realized that her internal thoughts were being displayed on the surface. “Oh, it has just been a long day.”

“Same here.”

As they walked across the street and up to the apartment Pam decided that she should let him know that she would be going out tonight.

“Hey, is it okay if I go to dinner with Ben tonight?” she said without looking up at him.

Jim stuck out his lower lip and shook his head. “You don’t need to ask me. I’m not your father.”

“I know, it’s just I didn’t want you to think that I was going on a date.”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“No. Ben is in town and he wants to catch up at his favorite pizza spot.”

“Pam, don’t worry about me. You can go out.”

“Thanks. I know it was weird to ask but I didn’t want to leave here knowing that you were upset by it.”

“I don’t have a problem with it,” Jim lied.

“Great.”

----

Around seven Pam got her purse and coat and walked over to the door and hollered at Jim who wasn’t in the living room.

“I’m leaving! I’ll be back later! Goodnight.”

She checked to make sure that he wasn’t coming down the hallway and when she saw that he wasn’t, she opened the door and left.

----

She walked up to the familiar shop and stepped in. She looked around for Ben but couldn’t see him. From behind her she heard his voice.

“Hello pretty lady,” Ben said as he turned her around and hugged her.

“Ben, it’s so good to see you.”

“You too. Let’s grab us a slice and then chat at the table.”

After they waited in line for their slice of pizza, they found a corner booth and sat down.

“So, Pam…what’s new?”

Pam wiped the grease off her lips and swallowed her bite. “Nothing much. I’m very busy at work.”

“Really? Is it harder than the internship?”

“Let’s just say that Martin keeps piling the projects on my desk.”

“Well, at least you are doing what you like to do.”

“Yeah, it’s great.”

“So, you got your own place?”

“No, I’m actually rooming with Jim.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were dating him. I should have asked that before inviting you to dinner.”

“We aren’t dating. We’re just friends that share a place.”

“I see. Whew.”

“Yeah, we are just ….really, really…close friends.”

“Do you want it that way?”

“Sometimes.”

“You love him?”

Pam put her pizza on the plate and placed her elbows on the table. She rubbed her forehead with her hand and rested her head in the other.

“I do.”

“Then why are you guys not together?”

“I don’t know. I think we are both kind of in this whole phase where we don’t know where we stand.”

“Pam, just talk to him.”

“I have before. It’s complicated. He’s my roommate, my best friend, and I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“Trust me, I think he would try his best not to ruin anything with you. You’re a great woman,” Ben said as he reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Thanks Ben. Now, let’s talk about what you’re doing these days.”

-----

Pam had a great night talking with Ben. He was managing a graphic design firm that dealt with advertising accounts. He was making great money, had a new home, was still dating his girlfriend, and told Pam he had bought a ring.

She walked up to the door and opened it slowly. She felt like she was still interning and walking in from the night she spent with Jim on the bridge. She remembered finding Ben sitting with his laptop on his lap waiting up for her. This time, Jim wasn’t sitting on the couch, he was apparently in his room.

She went into her room, flicked on the light, pulled off her jacket, and then stuck her head out her door to look down the hallway to where Jim’s room was. Her dinner with Ben had confirmed that she needed to be with Jim. Ben was a great guy, but he wasn’t the guy that Jim was.

She glanced out her door and saw that his door was shut. She walked down the hallway quietly making sure not to wake him if he was sleeping. She didn’t hear his television on or him moving around. She leaned her ear up to the door to listen for any movement. She heard a little bit of rustling and pushed herself closer to the door to hear if he was getting out of bed.

“What are you doing?”

Pam jumped and turned around to see Jim standing behind her. He laughed at her startled reaction. She caught her breath and starting giggling.

“I was just going to see if you were awake.”

“I was in the shower. Did you need something?”

“Nothing,” she lied.

“How was your night?”

“It was good. We just caught up.”

“I’m glad.” he said as he squeezed past her and opened his door.

“Wait, I just wanted to let you know that it wasn’t a date.”

“That’s what you implied earlier. Why would I be upset about that anyways?”

“Jim…”

“You are free to do whatever you want.”

“No, I don’t want to go out with other guys. I want to be with you.”

“Pam, you don’t have to do that.”

“It’s long overdue. I’ve wanted to do this since you showed up in NYC.”

“Pam, stop.”

“Are we going to do this over again?”

“You’re feeling guilty and I don’t want it to be out of pity for me.”

“I don’t pity you. You are the most amazing guy I know and you’ve been nothing but sweet to me.”

“I hurt you back in Scranton and I don’t think I can do that again. If we started dating I might be liable to screw it up like all my other relationships.”

“This won’t be like any of our other relationships.” With that, Pam tugged on Jim’s t-shirt and laid a kiss on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. They didn’t force the kiss. It was gentle and loving. Pam ran her arms under his and let them rest on his shoulders. They stood in Jim’s doorway kissing until Pam pulled back and opened her eyes to look up at him. He took in a few deep breaths and smiled at her.

“What was that?” Jim asked as he ran his hand through his wet hair.

“I love you.”

“Was it supposed to happen like this?”

“I don’t care how it happened. All that matters is that we finally gave in.”

“I love you too.”

Jim pulled her into another knee-weakening kiss. Flash backs from their first kiss in the office entered her mind. She also remembered seeing him for the first time in almost four months. She actually passed out that time. She held tight to him to secure herself in his grip.