She hears the sound of candy hitting Lucite before she hears his voice.

"What is that?"

Pam looks up and wearily meets Jim's gaze.  "This?  This is Michael's book, Jim."

"Michael wrote a book?"

"Apparently.  And even better.  It's sort of a self-help book.  He's making me edit it."

"Please.  Stop."  Jim begs.

She is merciless.  "I'm sorry.  If I'm going down this road you're coming with me.   Listen to this.  Rule number 117 - ‘In order for condoms to be an effective form of birth control simply buying them is not enough.  You actually need to wear them'."  She gazes up at him with a blank expression.

"Well.  That certainly explains Jan's pregnancy..."

Pam's complexion becomes decidedly green.  "I thought we agreed..."

"I'm sorry."

"It's a simple thing Jim.   We do not make any reference that has to do with Michael doing anything remotely like that with Jan..."

"I'm sorry."  He gives her an apologetic grin.  "Let's just stop discussing it then.  Are you ready for lunch?"

She glances at the clock.  "I can eat really quick and then I have to go out and buy lollipops."

"And here I thought jellybeans were working so well for you.  Switching allegiances Pam?"

"They're Preggie Pops."

"E-excuse me?"  He chokes out, his heart pounding.  "Got some news for me Beesly?"

"Oh.  No.  Don't look at me."  She blushes crimson and then gazes at him dreamily, the mere thought making her giddy.  "They're for Michael.  It's some sort of candy that helps with morning sickness."

"Where the hell do you even find something like that?"

"Well, Jim - I'll tell you.  You can order them online - but if I do that it'll mean he'll come in every day hounding me waiting for them to ship.  So.  I convinced him you could get them at Rite-Aid.  I'm buying a generic bag but I have an empty tin to put them in."  She gives him an impish grin.  "I even made a label."

Jim peers over the desk and sees what she's created.  It looks completely realistic.   She really is amazing. 

"You're brilliant.  You know that?"  He smiles at her, admiration filling his voice.  "C'mon.  Let's have some lunch before you have to leave."

Pam's whole face lights up as she stands and follows him.  "That sounds nice."  She sighs as he takes her hand and leads her to the kitchen.

xoxoxo

"This whole book thing has got me thinking."  Pam says wistfully as she hands Jim the sandwich she'd packed for him.  "I cannot believe Michael - of all people - got married before me."

"It is pretty unbelievable."  He busies himself with unwrapping his lunch.

"When do you think..." She begins.

"Hmmm?"

"When do you think I'll get married?"

He laughs and takes a sip of his soda.  "I don't know Kelly.  As soon as Ryan asks you?"

When she doesn't reply to his obvious joke he glances back at her.  She looks crestfallen.

Concern fills his voice as he sets his sandwich down and reaches for her hands.  "Hey..."

Pam links her fingers with his and squeezes gently.  "I'm sorry.  I don't know what's wrong with me today.  I'm being completely ridiculous."  She shakes her head.  "I want you to know- I'm so not that girl..."

"You don't need to explain anything to me."  Jim promises.  "I know exactly who you are Pam."

She nods and pulls her hand from his.  "I should probably get going."

"What?   Pam - you didn't even eat."

She shrugs.  "I'm not that hungry anymore."

There's more to it and he knows it.  Suddenly he's desperate to fix it.  He stuffs the other half of his sandwich back in the paper bag.  "Just wait a sec.  I'll go with you..."

She shakes her head at him.  "No.  Don't.  That's OK.  I don't think I'll be too long.  Actually, I might take advantage of getting out of here and just meet you at home."

He gazes at her intently.  "Are you sure you're OK?"

"I'm fine."  She promises as she leans forward and places her hands on his cheeks kissing him softly, but lingeringly.  "I love you, you know?"  She whispers rubbing her thumb along his bottom lip as she pulls away.

He stares into her eyes, searching for an answer as to what's going on with her.  "I know.  I love you too."

Since they'd revealed their relationship to the rest of the office they were occasionally affectionate on company time.  Even so, typically he'd be lucky if she let him throw his arm around her shoulders as they sat in the break room.  But it seemed something was different today.

She kisses him again quickly before she moves to leave.  "I'll see you later."  She calls back over her shoulder.

He sits there, the scent of her shampoo hovering in the air around him as he watches her go.  He didn't believe a word she said.  Something was definitely up with her and he suspects it won't be long before he figures it out. 

He thinks he probably already has.  

The whole conversation they'd just had was ironic - actually - because, at this very moment he just happens to have a print-out of a diamond buying guide in his back pocket.  It was not a matter of if - it was absolutely when and the problem wasn't whether or not he wanted to ask her - never that.  It was that he was torn about what kind of ring to get her. 

He'd talked to his mom about giving Pam the ring that used to belong to his grandmother, but  once she'd given it to him he'd realized it was rather old fashioned and frankly, kind of small.  There was a smug, self satisfied part of him who wanted to give her a ring that put the one that Roy had given her to shame. 

Two months salary.  Really?  He smoothes the creases out of the paper.  As he did he made some mental calculations.   Pam is sentimental enough to really appreciate his grandma's ring.  Maybe he could buy her a set of earrings instead.    As a wedding present.

Not a bad idea he thinks as he retrieves the rest of his sandwich from the bag and takes another bite.

"Ugh.  I'm so bloated."

Jim's head snaps up to see Michael, pressing a hand to his stomach. 

"Not sure I can help you with that."

"Pregnancy is a bitch, Jim.  Really..."  He starts sniffling.  "You have no idea what these hormones do to you."

"You do realize Jan is the one to actually carry the baby don't you?"

"I know that - Jim."  Michael says exasperatedly.  "I'm having what they call emprathy pains."

"Or empathy."  Jim corrects him under his breath. "...and I don't think that's really even possible..."

Michael cuts him off as he sinks into the chair beside him.  "Can you put that sandwich away?  I can't even look at ham lately..."

"You do look a little tired.  Maybe you should go lie down."

"Don't tell me what to do."  He snaps back.

There are just some things that are above and beyond Jim's job description and dealing with Michael's phantom pregnancy symptoms pretty much top the list.

"OK, then.  By all means.  Stay here."

Michael's eyes focus on the printout Jim has spread on the table.  "Are you buying diamonds Jim?"

Jim could kick himself.  Pam was right.  It was so much easier when they pretended at work that  they weren't involved. 

"Thinking about it."  Jim says as he polishes off the rest of his sandwich, knowing that this is his cue to leave.

Of course, it's not exactly that simple.  "Some advice.  And I devote a whole chapter to it in my book - The Rules of Love: 132 and a Half Ways to Meet Your Match by: Michael G. Scott..."

"A hundred and thirty-two and a half?"

"It's the half that makes all the difference Jim.   That's why Jan and I plan to have 2.5 kids. Now seriously.  This is so exciting.  Does Pam even know you're going to pop the question?"

"We've been talking about it and Michael."  Jim's voice lowers and he makes sure that Michael is looking at him as he continues.  "I'm sure you understand I want to keep this as a surprise to her."

"Of course."

"I'm discussing this with you because you are my...friend."  More importantly because you caught me.  Damnit.  "It's very important to me that you don't discuss this with anyone else."

"Not even Jan?"

Jim concedes.  "Jan is OK.  But not anyone else here.  Do we have a deal?" 

"Yes Jim.  God.  Yes.  We do.  I can keep a secret better than anyone - you should know that."  Michael promises, rolling his eyes.  "Can we get back to my advice now?"

Not in the mood to debate Jim simply replies.  "Sure."

"You're not planning to buy her a ring on QVC are you?"

"Didn't even occur to me." 

"Because Jim - let me warn you.   They're a bunch of crooks."

"Really?"

"Yes.  Especially that Paula Abdul.  She always looks kinda shifty on that American Idol thing and now I know why."

"Michael - what are you talking about?"

"Jan's ring."

Its times just like this he wishes Pam were here to witness the insanity. 

This explains so much.  "You bought Jan's ring on QVC?"

"Yeah."  Michael shakes his head.   "Jim do you know that a Diamonelle is not an actual diamond?"

"I think the fact that it's called Diamonelle gives you a clue..."

"Well I didn't.  To me - a Diamonelle sounds much more sophisticated than a stupid old regular diamond."

"So.  Let me guess.  Jan figured it out."

"Yes!  And let me tell you - I don't understand the big deal.  Because to get a diamond that big is ridiculously more expensive.  Like...thousands and thousands more.  In the end she wound up with one half the size."

It's so sad but the thought hits him before he can even blink.  That's what she said. 

"Well - I'm sure she appreciated the thought."

"Not really.  It was pretty bad - but I wound up giving the other one to my mom.  She loved it - even if it wasn't a Joan Rivers original."

Man.  Jim thinks with a shake of his head.  There must be something in that book that explains why Jan is with Michael - because...seriously.

"So.  Here's my advice.  Forget those QVC bastards and get Pam a cubic zirconia instead."

"Michael."

"I know."  He continues in earnest.  "You wouldn't think something with a name like that looks anything remotely like a diamond - it doesn't even have the name diamond in it - but it looks just like one.  You seriously can't tell."

There's a small pause before Michael continues.  "At least she hasn't been able to...yet."

"Michael.  Are you telling me you replaced Jan's original fake diamond ring - with another fake diamond ring?"

"May-be."  He whispers, so low Jim almost can't hear.  "I might have."

"Unbelievable.  And yet...not."  Jim shakes his head as he pushes back his chair and moves to stand.  Poor Jan.

Poor world.  He thinks with a new level of horror.   Jan better be having a girl.  For her own sake more than anyone else's.

It's completely insane - but none the less true.  The possible arrival of Michael G. Scott, Junior is imminent.  

xoxoxo

Jim's keys jingle in the lock as he makes his way into the apartment.  He can hear the strains of music playing and smell the scent of something delicious wafting from the kitchen, but can see no sign of her.

"Pam?" 

"Yeah?"  She stands in the doorway to their bedroom, looking well, simply adorable.  Her hair is loose about her shoulders and she's changed into an oversized sweatshirt and leggings.  The sleeves are so long they cover her hands completely.  She fists the fabric in her fingers.

"You've been busy."  He says as he shrugs off his coat and makes his way over to her, brushing his lips across hers.  When he pulls away he sees the same worry as before filling her eyes.  "OK.  So.  Now that we're both away from that asylum we call work - what's up with you?"

"I don't know what you mean."  She replies as she slips past him and moves towards the kitchen.

Slow, Halpert. He cautions himself.  Don't rush her.  God knows that got you nowhere fast the last time.

He loosens his tie and nudges his shoes off, his eyes never straying from her.  "You just seem out of sorts."

"I sort of am."  She says softly.

"OK.  So.  Talk to me."

She opens the oven door and then shuts it quickly.  "I would - but you're...kinda the problem."

That is not what I was expecting.  "Me?"

Pam takes a deep breath and walks to an overstuffed armchair, curling into it like a cat.  "I don't want to make this a big deal - 'cause it isn't.  I mean.  I don't want you to think that all I do is think about this because I don't..."

"I promise."  He places a hand on his heart and sits across from her.  "No conclusions will be jumped to.  Just tell me what's going on."

"I love living with you..."  She begins, averting her eyes from his, her hands fidgeting with her sweatshirt again.

He smiles widely.  "I love living with you too."

"But - I don't know."  She gives a little shrug, starts picking at the upholstery  "I've been thinking lately.  I mean.  What's actually keeping us from making it...you know...more official?"

"More like...legal?  Less like...living in sin?"

"Exactly."

Looks like it's going to be today huh?  Jim thinks as his pulse quickens.  Good thing I've got that ring handy. 

He takes a minute, lets it sink in. "Pam.  How many times do I need to tell you?  You can't let Angela get to you..."

"Jim..."

"Didn't we pretty much decide she and Dwight have formed their own religion?  Worshiping both Jesus and J. R. R. Tolkien equally?"

Pam laughs and then finally looks at him.  "Stop.  I'm trying to be serious here." 

"Me too."  Jim smiles back at her.  "Pam - I want nothing more than to make it official.  I've wanted that for a really long time."

Her face brightens as she holds his gaze.  "Me too."  She whispers as she rises from the chair.  She walks to him and sinks down onto his lap.

He reaches up to brush her hair off her face, leaning close to kiss her softly.  "You really only needed to say the word - you know."  He rests his forehead against hers.

"I know.  I'm sorry."  She murmurs, shifting to kiss him back.  "I'm still trying to get used to this."

"Used to what?"

"This. Having someone pay attention to me and my...various moods I guess.  It was never like that...before."

He gives her an incredulous look.  "Well. C'mon Pam.  What do you expect?  I'm quite an upgrade."

"You certainly are."  She agrees as she threads her fingers through his hair, kissing him again.

She eases back and stares into his eyes.  "So we can start talking about it?  Really?"

"I think we just did talk about it."  He hooks his arm under her knees and stands, taking a moment to make sure he doesn't drop her.  She bobbles at bit as she curls her arms around his neck.

"What are you doing?"  She laughs as he heads towards the bedroom.

"Making it official."  He replies, once they get there, setting her gently on her feet and moving towards his dresser, opening and shutting a drawer quickly.

"Jim?" 

"I don't know if this is what you were hoping for - or what you were expecting - but...I thought that it might bring us good luck."  He says as he turns to face her again, his hands fisted at his sides.  "My grandparents were married for almost sixty years."

She sniffles as realization washes over her.  "That's a long time."

"It is."  Jim acknowledges with a small nod.  "And all those years, she never took this ring off.  Not once - even after he passed away."

"That's very sweet."   She can't help crying now as she tilts her face up to his. 

"It is."  He gazes down at her, tears swimming in his own eyes.  "So.  I was just wondering..."  He says, his voice shaking nervously.  "Actually, I was hoping you'd want to do the same."

"Wear that ring for over sixty years?"  She says with a smile as she catches a tear on the back of her hand.  "I don't know Jim.  I thought being engaged for four years was a long time..."  

"Pam." 

"Oh.  I'm sorry."  She laughs as he takes the ring out of the box, which he then throws in the general vicinity of the bed.   He holds her trembling hand in his own equally unsteady one.  "Are you asking me a question?"

There is no possible way I can love you more than I do right this second.  "I am.  Are you giving me an answer?"

The look in her eyes tells him the feeling is mutual.  "Yes."  She nods.

She's driving him crazy.  "Yes you're giving me an answer or yes is your answer?" 

He slips the ring on her finger and she clasps his hand in hers.  "Just ask me Jim..."

As usual, he can refuse her nothing.   And so, he does. 

"Marry me?"

xoxoxo

When he thinks back on it later, he's not actually sure he heard her say the word, but he knows that the way she threw herself in his arms and kissed him was all the answer he needed.