Jim and Karen had just barely begun their trip back to Scranton after the cocktail party when Jim noticed a loud buzzing sort of sound coming from the back seat of his car.

“Is that your cell phone?” asked Karen.

“I think it is,” said Jim. “I must have left back there in my jacket pocket while we were inside at the party. Oops.” He grinned at her. Can you reach back there and get it for me?”

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Karen turned around in her seat to retrieve his jacket from where it lay on the back seat. She began searching through the pockets, trying to find the phone, but by the time she found it, the ringing had stopped. Turning back around, she re-buckled her seat-belt and flipped the phone open. “It says you just missed a call from Dwight K. Schrute,” she said. Jim raised his eyebrows. “Do you want to listen to his message?”

“Definitely,” said Jim. “Go ahead and put it on speaker phone.

Karen hit the button to turn the speaker on, then dialed to retrieve his voice mail.

A computerized female voice came on the line. “You have six unplayed messages.”

“Wow, someone’s popular tonight,” said Karen.

Jim nodded, eyebrows raised, wondering who’s calls he had missed that evening.

The voice continued, “First message sent today, at 9:55pm:”

“Hello, Jim. This is Kevin,” said Kevin in his usual monotone. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve still got your back. Give me a call anytime, buddy. I’m here for you.” A beep signaled the end of the message.

“Well, that was weird,” said Karen. Jim nodded, eyebrows raised in perplexed agreement.

“To delete this message, press seven,” said the automated voice. “To save it in the archives, press nine. For more options, press--”

“Go ahead and delete it,” said Jim, and Karen pressed the seven button.

“Next message, sent today at 9:59pm:”

“Ohmigod, Jim. Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod. So you will totally NOT believe what just happened. So you and Michael had to go to that cocktail party, right? Which I think is totally awesome. You have to tell me all about what happened at that party. I mean, like how big was the house, and what was everyone wearing, and just everything. But anyway, so because you went to the cocktail party, a bunch of us decided to go out to Poor Richard’s for Happy Hour, which was totally Ryan’s idea, because he always thinks of all the funnest things to do. Ohmigod. Not, like, it was his idea for us to skip out early or anything, because Ryan wouldn’t do anything to get us into trouble. But he totally does have the funnest ideas. We played that game with the quarter, you know, and Ryan was totally so great at it. Roy totally would not have won if it weren’t for him.”

A beep indicated that someone else was trying to call in the middle of Kelly’s exuberant speech, but Jim, assuming it was Dwight calling back again, indicated with a wave of his hand that Karen should just let it go to voicemail while they listened to the rest of the message.

Kelly continued, “But anyway, Jim, while we were at Poor Richard’s you will not believe what happened! Ryan was just standing near the door minding his own business, when who should show up but that teenage hussy, Stanley’s daughter. And I was like, ohmigod, because I could see that Ryan so wasn’t in to her at all, but she kept trying to seduce him, but then I guess Stanley noticed, and you know how he gets all protective about his daughter and stuff, and he chased Ryan into the girl’s bathroom. I mean, can you believe Stanley’s daughter? Wait, Ryan, you have to turn here. No, here! No turn around in this driveway, you had to turn there. Oh fine. No just turn up there, then. But anyway, Jim, that’s not why I was calling. I was calling because you will not believe what I saw Roy do! Pam was just sitting there talking to him, and I couldn’t hear what she said to him, but all of the sudden he--”

Kelly’s message suddenly cut off with a “beep” as she exceeded the time limit.

Jim gave a Karen a shrug and rolled his eyes as if to say, ‘There’s Kelly over dramatizing everything again,’ but secretly he was getting a little bit curious about what had happened tonight. First Kevin’s message, then this…

“Delete?” asked Karen. Jim nodded.

The cool female automated voice spoke once again. “Next message, sent today at 10:01pm:”

Muffled crashing sounds could be heard in the background as Angela’s harsh voice came on the line, sounding angry. “Meredith, I mean it, we’re leaving right now! Now! Jim, hello. This is Angela calling. I’m calling you because as ranking number two in the office I think you should be aware that--Creed stop it! Creed, give that back right now!”

The crashing sounds suddenly became much more pronounced as Angela’s voice distantly shouted at Creed to come back. Creed’s voice suddenly came on the line. “Hello? Hello? Who is this? Some party you’re missing here tonight, man, whoever you are.” The line suddenly went dead and the phone beeped again to indicate the end of the message.

Jim’s hands tightened on the steering wheel as he began to seriously consider what might have happened that had provoked Angela, of all people, to call him.

At Jim’s nod, Karen hit the seven key again.

With the next message, (at 10:07pm,) Michael’s unmistakable voice began exuberantly: “Jimbo, my main man! My friend, Jim! My friend--my best--” some loud sniffing could suddenly be heard as his voice cut off. “I’m here at the cocktail party, and I really need to talk to you. About me and Jan. Only--I can’t find you anywhere. Where are you, Jim? You’re the only one that I can talk to right now, because you’re the only one that really understands my relationship with Jan. You’re the only one that gets Our Love. Well, and Pam, but she’s not at this party, and she didn’t answer her phone when I called her. She must not have heard it ring. Just like you must not have heard it ring. Anyway, Jan’s acting….” a muffled sort of sob could be heard, “….really weird. I need to talk to you, so call me when you get this. Or come find me. Or both.” The sound of someone loudly blowing their nose was heard before the message ended with a beep.

Jim smiled his ‘What’s Michael done to himself this time?’ smile at Karen, but she didn’t catch his eye in time to see it. She rolled her eyes at Michael, and deleted the message.

“Next message, sent today at 10:09pm:”

“Hey Jim, it’s Pam .”

Both Jim and Karen tensed up suddenly at the sound of Pam’s voice. Jim had a sudden urge to grab the phone off of Karen’s lap and take it off of speaker, but he knew that Karen would be furious if he did. Pam continued to speak:

“How are you? I’m good. So….right. Actually I’m not so good. Um, listen. I’m actually calling because I kind of need to talk to you about something that happened tonight, so…. If you could just call me as soon as you get this, that would be great. Like, before you get home, would be best. Unless K-- I mean, just whenever, but as soon as you can, okay? Okay, I hope you’re having a fun time, and everything, and I’ll talk to you soon, hopefully. Okay…. Bye.”

“Jim, what? I mean, why would she be calling you?” Karen asked in an oddly formal sort of voice. She hit the seven key to delete the message without waiting for him to respond. Jim glanced at her sharply; he would have saved that particular message to replay it and see if he could glean anymore information, but he knew better than to say anything to Karen just then.

“Well?” Karen asked again, looking at him this time. “What’s going on?“ Jim just shook his head at her in an indication to let him listen as the next message began. He could tell from the tone of Pam’s voice that whatever had happened was serious, but he was nervous about showing his true reactions in front of Karen. The last thing he needed was five more nights of endless discussion about the state of their relationship.

“Next message, sent today at 10:22pm.”

“Dammit, Jim, I found all the shrimp tails you put in my jacket pocket, and I know that it was you, so I just--wait, what, Michael? Well why did you put them here? But, why didn’t you just put them in the trash can? Oh, well okay then. Never mind, Jim.” Beep.

Karen pressed seven again, and was about to close the phone, when the automated voice spoke again:

“Next message, sent today at 10:24pm”

A rage-filled voice that Karen most likely didn’t recognize, but that Jim knew all too well came suddenly on the line. “Halpert. I’m gonna fucking kill you, man.” Beep. The line went dead.