12:18

I've spent the whole morning coming up with ways to get Michael back on my side. Dwight has been ruthlessly undermining me when I wasn't here to defend myself, so I think it'll be twice as hard to get myself back in with the boss. Basically, my reputation has just been laying there in the dust the whole time I've been gone so now it's all covered with dust bunnies and besides that it's been writhing in pain every time Dwight squishes it with those freaking spiked vampire-slaying boots he brought into work once! I hate Dwight!

2:32

Okay, Andrew Bernard has come up with a plan to win back my rightful place as Michael's number two. It involves door-bell ditching, and some oreos, and some beers, and if that doesn't work I'll move on to phase B.

3:55

You know what the problem is with door-bell ditching? You never get to see the person's reaction. I drove around the block a few times and on the second lap the stuff was gone, but how do I know if he really liked it? Oh. Wait, I just thought of an even bigger problem. How will Michael know that stuff was from me? What if he assumes it was Dwight or something? Maybe I should just call Michael and ask him if anyone left him anything and then see what he says. Yeah, that could work.

6:15

Michael's still not answering his phone, and now I have to go get ready for tonight's encore date. I guess I'll just have to check up on him tomorrow. In the meantime, lookout Pamelassie, Andrew Bernard is on the prowl!

***

Karen glances at the microwave clock from her position on the couch.

"What am I doing?" she mutters to herself. "It's almost 3 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon and I haven't been out of the house yet? This is just sad." The old Karen never would have lain around all day feeling sorry for herself and watching movies on Lifetime. But the old Karen wouldn't have moved to Nowheres-ville, Pennsylvania either. And all for some stupid guy.

The thing is, though, that Jim isn't just a stupid guy. She had moved here thinking she knew what she was getting into. But it seems like every day she's found out something new about Jim and his past that make her think she must not have known him at all. And now, she just feels like she's stuck. She likes Jim, of course she does, he's such a great guy and sometimes everything between them is so amazing that she can't imagine how she'd lived without it for so long, but those times are starting to become so infrequent that she just isn't sure it's really worth it anymore. She often finds herself thinking What am I even doing here? Is this really what I want to be doing for the rest of my life?

With a sudden jolt of energy she sits up on the couch and reaches for her laptop. Pulling up a couple of job search sites, she decides there's no harm in just looking. At the very worst, it will only make her more willing to put up with the job she already has instead of getting all frustrated trying to find a new one.

Location? The search page asks. Karen thinks for a minute. She knows where she really wants to be, and it isn't Scranton. Well, you might as well go all out, if you really want to know, she decides. She types in New York City with a 30-mile radius. As she scans the listings she can feel the beginnings of a smile on her face and she wonders again how she's let herself get so far off track.

***

Jim rolls over one more time determined to sleep longer. He isn't even really tired anymore, but if he gets out of bed then he'll have to go... do things, and deal with people, and stand up. He can't really remember much after his conversation with Karen last night, but he knows there was some scotch involved and maybe some whiskey and whatever that other kind was that he'd found in the back of the pantry. He vaguely remembers moving from the couch to his room at some point. All he really knows is that his head is pounding and he definitely didn't drunk enough, because he can still remember the fact that Andy and Pam went on a date!! Why? and how? and what? What had gone on there? He had been in love with Pam for years, and he'd been her best friend for longer than that and he'd still never gone on a real date with her (and okay, okay, she'd been engaged at the time, but still!) Andy? Andy went on a date with Pam before he did? One thing is certain. The universe has a very sick and twisted sense of humor.

About an hour later he finally gives up trying to fall asleep again and decides to spend the afternoon running errands. He figures this will keep him too busy to think about tonight's date with Pam and Andy (which he is sincerely dreading despite the chance it will give him to see Pam on a date) and as an added bonus running errands will give him the perfect excuse not to do something with Karen if she calls.

For the most part it actually seems to work. Of course, he can't help thinking of Pam as he puts on some jeans and a T-shirt because he just happens to pick the same shirt he wore to play basketball in at work and now he always thinks of her when he wears it, and how cute she had looked trying to trash-talk their team.

And of course he can't possibly be expected not to think about Pam when he drives past Chile's on his way across town. That had been such a great night. One of the very few times when she had just let herself go. And of course he had been right there with her to keep her from making a complete fool of herself. Well, or maybe just to make sure she didn't get in over her head. He had loved taking care of her like that. The fact that she would trust herself to him in such a way made him feel needed and loved, even if it was just the love of a good friend. And then, of course, there had been that kiss...

Sighing at the inevitable, he pauses as he picks out fabric softener at the grocery store. Apparently his plan to run errands hasn't been any more successful than any of the other methods he's tried to get him to stop thinking about Pam over the years. He isn't always quite this obsessed of course, but today he really just can't seem to stop thinking about her. 

***

It's 6:35, and she hasn't even gotten in the shower yet. Last night she had been determined not to let Jim's bizarre behavior get to her. She would stick to her plan. She would play along, and at some point he would break. But she had just spent the entire day rethinking her strategy. Was it really worth it? She isn't even sure what she's doing anymore.

Originally, the plan had been to shock his system. It would probably have been more effective if she'd used Dwight, but Pam happened to know that Dwight's mystery girlfriend would never have approved that, so she'd gone for the next best thing.

She groans aloud as she remembers that she actually has to go through with this for another night. Then she picks up her hair clip and trudges toward the bathroom. 

Pam is very aware of the fact that both she and Jim have a tendency to just let things go. In fact, they've already been doing that for years. She had stayed with Roy and she and Jim had stayed best friends and everything had just gone on and on like that for so long. That's why she's so worried. She's noticed Jim's relationship with Karen deteriorating and she knows he's doing it again. Technically, he is still with Karen, but only because that's the status quo and far be it from him to mess with that.

Of course, she's just the same. She'd even gotten back together with Roy for that very reason. It was easy. It was comfortable. It wasn't right, but it was good enough. Sometimes doing the right thing was just too much effort, and sometimes it was a lot harder than you would have expected it to be, and other times it was flat-out terrifying. At least, that was what she had told herself up until that night when Roy started smashing things at Poor Richard's.

She's spent a lot of time thinking about her relationships since then. And after several nights of lying in bed with her fists balled up in frustration at herself and her situation she'd come up with a plan. Actually, The Plan. The plan to shock Jim, and herself, out of the rut they were in.

Granted, shock and awe aren't really Pam's strong points, but at first her plan had seemed to be working. At least, judging by that phone call she'd gotten from Jim at lunch yesterday.  Standing in front of the mirror she surveys herself with another sigh. Forget the shower; this is plenty good enough. I mean it's not like you're actually trying to attract someone. Well, okay, it's not like you're actually trying to attract your date, she thinks, feeling a little guilty. She isn't used to being this under-handed, at least not all by herself, and she certainly isn't used to using someone else like this. But Andy is, well... he'll get over it. And besides, it's not like this will be going on much longer. "Whatever happens tonight," she thinks "this is my last date with Andy Bernard." And with that comforting thought she reaches for her deodorant.