2:12

Back at the Dun-Mif. Lunch was awesome. Big Tuna seemed totally on board with Operation Love Train. He wanted to know why I'd named it that and I explained to him that it's because Love Train sounds like Soul Train, and Pam is practically my soul because she's in my heart... so... Anyways, the Tuna and I cooked up some HOT plans for tomorrow night. I don't want to give it away, because who knows who might be reading this behind my back (yes, Phyllis, this means you! Now stop reading. This is private property!!) But let me just say that Scranton will be sizzling with Saturday Night Fevah by 9 o'clock tomorrow. 

2:49

Dwight's in Michael's office. He's been there for at least 12 minutes and I can't come up with a reason to go bust up their little meeting. Marci told me I should try to take a fifteen minute cool-off break between when something upsets me and when I take action, but I think she probably underestimated Andrew Bernard's ability to deal with things calmly and rationally. Most people might need 15 minutes, but I think 12 is already way more than what's necessary for me. Time to go see what's going on in there.

2:56

Turns out Michael did need me for something. He sent me out to go make sure there was still air in his tires. And then he asked me to patrol the parking lot for half an hour or so just to make sure those guys from Vance Refrigeration don't try to punk us again. So now I'm out here on security detail. I told Michael not to worry since Andrew Bernard is on the job.

2:58

Man, it's cold out here. Should've brought a jacket.

3:55

Back at my desk. Less than an hour until I'm going home to prepare for my first official date with Pam. Not that I'm worried, I mean I already know she likes me, even in my work duds, but wait till she gets a look at Andrew Bernard, the suave romantic date-man. In other Dunder-Mifflin news Angela is really starting to freak me out. I'm trying to remain calm and practicing my breathing techniques like Marci told me to, but if I see her looking at me like that one more time... 

5:17

Writing from inside the car wash. The Xterra and I are going to be squeaky clean tonight in honor of Ymay Airfay Adylay Ampay. I'm thinking we'll start with dinner and then maybe a movie or something. It's a Friday night in Scranton, I'm sure we'll find something to do. And then, of course, I'll invite her over to my place and we'll just... see how the evening progresses.

***

The "date" was an utter disaster. Not that she'd been expecting it to go well, of course. Pam was still calling it a "date" (quote marks included) in her mind, because to actually call it a date would've been way more than she was prepared to handle. She had to keep reminding herself that it was only one date, and that it was all for a good cause. And that's when Andy sprung it on her.

"You know, I was talking to Jim at lunch today and he thinks it's great that we're finally getting together."

"He said that?" the disbelief was clear in her voice, but somehow Andy didn't notice. Instead he just shrugged.

"So I told him we should double date sometime. Doesn't that sound like a blast? It'd be just like old times, I mean, if we had known each other in old times, like in high school or college or something. Hey by the way, did I ever tell you about this one time when I was in college? I went to Cornell, you know, and--"

"Yeah, Andy, hold on. You told Jim we should double date?" 

"Andrew, Pam, the name is Andrew now. I'm pretty much a whole new man since the training, you know?"

"Oh, right, sorry. Um... but, so what did Jim say?"

"Oh, he said we should definitely do it. In fact, we kind of already set something up for tomorrow night. I wasn't going to tell you because it's supposed to be a surprise. Don't you just love surprises?" He smiled at her from across the table and Pam had to consciously work to keep the look of completely grossed out off of her face so that it didn't give her away.

"Tomorrow night, huh? Wow that's, uh, soon..." she had no idea what she was saying, but Andy didn't seem to mind. Actually he'd been pretty good at keeping up the conversation single-handedly all through dinner. So she just let him keep on talking about whatever bizarre college memory he was now elaborating on for her benefit while she processed this information. Double-dating with Karen and Jim??? Tomorrow night??? This was definitely not part of the plan!  

***

Jim shut the door behind him, dropped his bag on the floor and fell flat onto the couch. He'd spent the entire afternoon on high-alert trying to look like he was working while simultaneously keeping one eye on Pam and one eye on Andy, and of course there were the usual tasks of fending off both Michael and Dwight, not to mention keeping Karen from getting suspicious. All in all it had been completely exhausting afternoon. Some time that felt like 5 minutes later but was actually closer to 40 he realized he was still face down on the couch and that his phone was beeping in his bag, indicating that he'd missed a call.

"Hey." he said

"Hey." Karen replied with a tone of unveiled boredom that matched his own.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Oh." The line was silent for a few seconds.

"Did you want something?" she asked suddenly.

"Uh, no. I just thought maybe you'd want to get together. I mean, it's Friday night. And you, I saw you called me, right?" Jim replied, not really sure why he was bothering to bring it up.

"Oh yeah." there was another pause "Well, so what do you want to do?" Karen asked. 

"I dunno."

"Yeah me neither." Yet another pause threatened to linger.

"So..." he began

"Hey Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"I think maybe I'd rather not do something tonight. I mean I'm just kinda worn out right now. Do you mind?"

"No, no, not at all. I'm actually feeling the same way."

"Okay, well maybe we can get together tomorrow or something." she said, noncommitally.

Crap! Tomorrow. Tomorrow night was their stupid double date with Andy and Pam that he'd completely forgotten to tell Karen about. He hadn't really meant to take Andy up on that offer, but somehow Andy seemed to have settled it all by himself and Jim had been too distracted by the idea of going on a date with Pam, well, with Karen, but with Pam there too, that he'd just sort of nodded along. He didn't really think he could tell Karen that though, at least not the part about Pam. 

"Yeah. Actually, I hope you don't mind, but I kind of already made plans for us tomorrow. Tomorrow night, that is. Is that okay?"

"Oh. Sure, I guess that's fine. What are we doing? Or is it a surprise?" He winced as Karen suddenly sounded a lot more interested in the conversation than she had to this point.

"No it's not really a surprise. I, uh, I told Andy that I'd go on a double date with him, you know, for moral support. It's a guy thing."

"You what!" Karen's tone clearly implied that she thought Jim was certifiably crazy. "Wait. Andy has a date? With who?"

"Uh..." Crud. Well, she was bound to find out sooner or later he thought. "with Pam actually."

"Pam? No! What? Okay first of all wow! Secondly, yes we are definitely going because there is no way I want to miss out on this. I mean what in the world could've possessed her to..." Karen kept talking, but Jim wasn't really paying attention 

All of a sudden he couldn't wait to end this conversation. The last thing he wanted to talk about was the possibility of a relationship between Andy and Pam.

"Okay. Well, I think the plan is to meet at the restaurant around 7, so I'll pick you up at 6:45. Okay?"

"Oh, yeah, that's fine or we could get together earlier if you want." 

"Um... I don't know, I'll just call you tomorrow okay?"

"Sure." Karen's tone was suddenly back to normal. Which, lately, for them, meant it sounded a little like she was talking to someone she'd just met. 

"Night Jim."

"Night." 

***

When Andy reached her doorstep it was clear what he was expecting. In fact, he'd been dropping none-too-subtle hints all through dinner about heading back to his place afterwards, but fortuneately Pam had come prepared for that exact problem with a whole slew of excuses ranging from an early-morning art class to her non-existent dog's pregnancy. The doorstep on the other hand, was harder to avoid. Luckily she managed to escape with only a quick hug, but half an hour later she was still squirming with disgust by the way his hand had moved down her lower back as he had released her. More than anything though Pam was trying to figure out what was going on with Jim. Her plan had been to shock him and not only was he apparently not shocked but he was actually planning a second date?!? Did he really believe she had accepted Andy's offer because she liked him? Or was he more serious about staying with Karen than she'd thought?

Whatever the reason, she was stuck with Andy for at least one more night, which was double the amount of time she'd planned on having to spend with him! And this time she'd be doing it in front of a rapt audience.

Well, fine! If that was how Halpert wanted to play then that was just fine! He probably couldn't resist the opportunity to laugh at her to her face. But no matter what he was planning she wasn't about to be humiliated in front of him or especially in front of Karen. Two could play at this game and after all, they both knew she was the better bluffer.