“Delivery for Dwight Schrute.”

Pam looked up, startled, “Um, right over there,” she pointed towards his desk.

The man strode over, carefully balancing a clip board on top of a large cardboard box, which he dropped unceremoniously beside the desk.

“You’re Dwight Schrute?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You ordered five hundred standard size bottles of Aquafina?” he read off the clipboard barely glancing at Dwight or anyone in the office.

“I did”

“Sign, please,” he said shoving the clipboard forward stiffly.

Dwight ignored him and proceeded to tear open the box. “First, I must examine the merchandise.” He tore open the bow and carefully examined the crate of water bottles; he managed to untangle one of them and took a long sip, splashing some on the carpet. He furrowed his brow in thought and paused before answering, “Acceptable. Very well, I will sign.”

The delivery man rolled his eyes and snatched the clipboard back as quick as he could and marched out as Dwight tried to lift the now-open crate.

By the time he dragged the crate into the kitchen, he had attracted the attention of almost everyone in the office who watched with mild interest as he lugged the crate towards the fridge. He opened its door and quickly pulled out the contents of the fridge and began neatly replacing it with bottles of water. Jim was the first to rise from his desk and enter the kitchen watching with surprise as Dwight stuffed water bottles in with unearthly determination.

“Dwight, what are you doing?”

“Jim, a hard working adult sweats up to four hours per day. Without adequate hydration I will be unable to perform at the standard of excellence required.”

Jim crossed the room to stand next to the fridge; in front of the discarded beverages and food Dwight had removed. “You work in a desk”

Dwight stopped and stood up as straight as he could, “Jim, I am by far the hardest working person in this office. Perhaps if you put forth a little effort you would realize the strains of this job.”

He continued placing the bottles in while more people filtered in to watch. Pam leaned on the counter next to Jim and watched bemusedly.

“But Dwight, I thought bottled water was bad for you.” She glanced sideways and smiled a little. Jim caught her eye and returned the grin.

“You’re right Pam, that whole problem with the addictive chemicals, I heard it was a scam.”

Dwight froze and examined his face closely.

“You, Jim Halpert, are by far the most gullible person I have ever met.”

“Right.”