“Oh Ryan, she was so sweet. I can’t wait to have a baby, oh my god her room was adorable.  She had the cutest pink hat and when it fell off, she started bawling and bawling, it was so amazing and then Beth told me-”

“FALSE” Dwight half-yelled, making Kelly shriek and Ryan glance over in exasperation.

“Kelly, your neighbour had this baby this weekend?”

“Of course, she would have invited me but she went into-”

“And you are certain of this?”

Kelly looked shocked “Well duh Dwight.  What do you think?”

“Your story would contradict that,” he scoffed “Fact: A baby must be approximately six to eight weeks old before its eyes can produce tears.  Are you certain your friend is not a spy?  A baby is a frequently used cover.”

“Jeez Dwight my friend is not a spy, let’s talk somewhere else Ryan.” She said as she rose huffily, dragging Ryan back to the break room. 

Dwight rolled his eyes “Women… Hey Jim, do you know Kelly’s address?  It would be best if I checked the area to be sure.”