As a rule, most McDonalds restaurants have a particularly dingy glow. It’s something with the lighting, or the muted wall and floor colours, or maybe a combination of the two. That this particular institution, here on the outskirts of Scranton, was no exception was not lost on Jim Halpert, as he sat quietly at his table and finished off his burger. As a rule, Jim was a fairly healthy eater, and he often avoided the Golden Arches when making decisions about where and what to eat. But he had been on the road for the better part of 5 hours now, and looked as haggard and worn out as he felt, and in such a state he was not willing or able to be particular about his fat intake. In fact, a greasy burger was just what Jim felt he needed.

It wasn’t just the driving that had worn Jim out. He would have to get used to more of this type of thing, as his new job at Dunder-Mifflin Corporate would demand it of him. There was a host of things that Jim could attribute to the dark pale circles around his tired eyes, not the least of which was the very reason that brought Jim was back to Scranton for the first time in three years; the funeral for Creed Bratton. When he got the news from Jan the week before, it had caught him quite off guard. Creed wasn’t a particularly old man, and he had seemed to be in fair health the last time Jim had seen him. However, it was not so much the fact that Creed was dead, as it was that a change of such magnitude actually happened at Dunder-Mifflin Scranton that really caught him off guard. In his mind, that place was defined by its changelessness. That’s partially why he left Scranton, for the second time, three years ago. In a way he felt his coming and going was the only change that ever really happened there. While employed there, there were certainly areas of his personal and professional life where he longed for change, but they never came to the fruition he had once hoped and dreamed for. However, when Jim left the second time, it was more due to the change that was happening in Jim’s life, that would change it, and him, forever.

And so here he was, back in Scranton for the first time since he left, again. His contact with the Scranton crew had been minimal since he left, initiated and perpetuated equally by both sides. To be fair, the Scranton Office still missed that energy and enthusiasm that Jim could so effectively and effortlessly provide, but nonetheless, once he was gone, life did resume normally for all parties involved. Including Pam’s.

Pam. Yet another reason for the tired, aching eyes. Pam, the one he had loved for so long; the one who still owned his heart, even after all these years and all that had transpired in his life in her absence. Pam, the one who he had cut off, out of his life, since the day he left Scranton. Similar to the first time Jim had left, he and Pam did not keep in contact with one another. No emails, no calls. Even when the DM Convention was held in Scranton last year, Jim had not stopped by the office to see her, or the crew. He knew he should have. He knew it was the mature thing to do, and he knew he wanted to so badly, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. In his mind, Jim was convinced that Pam was completely over him and free of him, and had probably moved on and gotten married since he left. He was fully expecting to meet Pam’s husband at Creed’s funeral. That thought scared Jim, because if Pam was married, then it was clear to him that she had stopped hurting, or being angry, or feeling anything about him at all. Jim could handle anger, he could handle tears and sadness, but it was Pam’s indifference toward him that he feared most. Even after all these years, even after leaving her the way he had, twice, he still hoped, prayed for a flicker of hope, for some form of acknowledgment from Pam that there was still that spark, that undeniable something between them. He knew his chances were slim, and that even thinking this way was setting himself up for heartbreak, but he couldn’t help it. He was a sucker for punishment. He was a fool, and he knew it.

Jim finished up the last of his fries, and as he picked up his keys and threw his coat over his shoulder, he looked around the restaurant, half expecting to see someone he knew. Although he had only been back to Scranton a handful of times since he left, he still felt a kind of connection, or kinship with this town. Maybe it was just the memories that he was connected to. He wasn’t sure. The patrons went about their business, eating their super value meals and happy meals, oblivious to the mental anguish that warred in Jim’s soul. How was he ever going to get through these next two days? How was everything going to be explained? What would he say to Pam?

He looked down and noticed his shoelace had become untied. He leaned down to tie it, when suddenly, he heard her voice. He recognized it from the first word that came from her mouth. "Hi, Jim".

Pam.

Jim looked up. He didn’t even have the time to register the confusion that would inevitably settle in. What is she doing here? Did she know I was going to be here? He couldn’t even get to these thoughts, because they were all lost when he looked into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes. Framed with tears already. And yet so achingly beautiful, that it ripped his soul in pieces. Somehow he got to his feet and stood in front of her. She was even more beautiful than he had remembered her.

The time apart had not taken any beauty away from Pam, as far as Jim was concerned. In fact, he felt she had only become more beautiful in his absence. Her hair, straight now, shoulder length, shone brilliantly, even in the dull light of the restaurant. Her skin, pale and flawless, glowed. Every feature of hers seemed more remarkable now, more perfect, than he had even imagined. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The next thing he noticed was her jeans. Pam was wearing jeans. They hugged her slender hips and accentuated all the positive features of her thighs. He longed to see how her ass looked, but tucked that thought away quickly. Pam held her purse, her keys and an McDonalds brand apple pie in her hands, and she fumbled with all three of them nervously. The air around them seemed charged. Jim needed to say something now, to lessen the already tense atmosphere.

"Pam Beesley. Fancy meeting you here."

"Yeah….weird, right?" Pam breathed a scattered, clearly uncomfortable, yet brave attempt of a reply.

No hug would initiate this meeting. The awkwardness, the distance between them was as tangible as if an actual wall stood between them. Pam knew this and didn’t know how to break it, or if she wanted to. Looking into Pam’s eyes, Jim knew that he needed to say something more to her or she was bound to leave him, and if he knew nothing else, he knew at least that he wanted her to stay with him now.

"Pam, wow. It’s….it’s really great to see you. How are you, how…how’s everyone holding up?"

Jim kept his eyes firmly fixed on Pam. He drank in her body language, the messages her eyes were sending him, searching for an entrance, searching for a whisper of something that showed him some feeling of warmth or at least recognition of him.

Pam again struggled through a reply, forcing herself to sound more confident, more grounded than she felt at this moment, hoping only that she would be able to stay standing on her two feet for the duration of the conversation, and that the aching in her throat and stinging in her eyes would not materialize into anything Jim could detect on her.

"It’s good to see you too, Jim. Everyone’s…uh…well, they’re, well, shaken up, I guess. It was pretty sudden. Michael even let us have yesterday off…and Monday, too."

"Yeah. Yeah. So…how are you…what are you doing? You’re still at Dunder Mifflin, I…well, obviously you are…I mean, how else would you know..about Creed…uh…."

His voice trailed off. He was losing her. He was losing her. Fortunately for him, Pam saved him from further embarrassment.

"Yes, Jim, I still work at Dunder Mifflin. Everyone’s still there from when you left, except we got a new girl in who replaced you, and another guy, Gary, came in to help in sales. Other than that, pretty much the same crew."

There seemed no hint of anger, or vitriol in Pam’s voice when she mentioned Jim’s leaving. In fact, it rolled off her tongue so easily that it made Jim a little worried.

"Good. Good to hear it."

Sensing the initial tension between them had somewhat subsided, and feeling briefly that maybe the distance he perceived had developed between the two of them was unfounded, he relaxed a little, and softened his voice.

"Listen, Pam, do you wanna sit down? Can we…can we…uh, talk for a bit?"

Pam paused. She searched within herself for the words to say to Jim. In the years apart, she too had tried to bury so much of her past with Jim, and had been about as successful at it as Jim had been. But she was trying. She wanted more than anything to be over Jim Halpert. Since he had left she had experienced the whole gamut of emotions in trying to deal with his departure; disbelief, anger, sadness, depression…acceptance? Not yet. Not entirely. All the other emotions swept over her in that moment, and the rush it gave her momentarily drew the blood from her face, to the point where it was noticeable even to Jim. She decided to take him up on his offer, if for no other reason than to just give her weakening legs a rest. Pam’s mind was racing. What does he want me to say? What can I say? After the way he left me, I don’t feel I should have to say anything. Why am I even here? Why don’t I just get up and leave?

"So Pam, what’s your story?" Jim interrupted her thoughts.

He glanced quickly at the ring finger of her left hand, and noticing it bare he almost let out a smile. "What’s up with you?" he asked, almost a little too enthusiastically.

Jim was happier now. Just knowing that Pam wasn’t married removed a huge burden from his sagging shoulders. It breathed new life into him. It provided him with a whisper of hope. That’s all he wanted at this point. For a brief moment, Jim was confident again, cocky even. But very quickly, Jim’s elation was very severely cut off.

"What the fuck, Jim?" Pam errupted in restrained anger, her eyes peircing Jim causing him to jar back in surprise.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she continued. "Why of all places did you have to choose this MacDonald’s on this night at this time? I mean, what are the chances? I swear to you this is the first time I’ve ever set foot in this restaurant. I got off from work today, and I thought I’d check out an arts supply store on this end of town, and on a whim I stop in here to grab something to eat. The last person I expected to ever see here was you. I never expected to see you again, and quite frankly I was just getting used to believing that. Why? Why did you have to be here?"

Pam was more asking herself, than Jim. Undeterred, and certainly not looking for a response, she continued.

"Last week at work, Kevin mentions your name at a staff meeting and it nearly causes me to choke on my water because it was the first time I’d even heard your name or thought about you in a long, long time! See, Jim, I was beginning to forgotten about you. And it was a good thing! I was finding happiness and contentment in my life for the first time in so long because I had made the conscious choice to stop thinking about you, caring about you, wondering about you, and us..."

Tears that had earlier threatened to surface now streaked down her ivory cheeks, and her voice, at times grave and shaking, now settled and found a calm, more controlled tone as she took in a deep, cleansing breath.

At this point, Jim tried his best to intervene, but Pam was having none of it.

"Pam". His words were soft, and pleading.

"No, Jim. No. Just let me...just let me talk. Would you believe, Jim, that it finally worked? That I finally was able to not just say to myself, but believe in my heart...that I was over you? The day after Kevin mentioned you at work, I was at home making tea, and I accidentally dropped that teapot you gave me at the Yankee swap five years ago. It smashed into pieces on the floor of my kitchen. And you know what, Jim? I didn’t even care. I used to cherish that little memento of our friendship, and when it smashed and I felt nothing, I was actually happy. I was proud of myself because I had demonstrated enough emotional strength to finally get over a man who I was in love with for so long. And then, two minutes ago, I walk in here and see you, tying your shoe, and, I...I...."

"Pam."

Jim pleaded again, but she did not seem to even notice him there anymore. For all she knew this was a dream that she would wake out of any second.

She stopped, because the tears began to take over, and the sobs caused her to lose control of her speech, but she fought valiantly to keep them down so she could continue.

"I realized how truly weak a person I am, because all it took was seeing you for one, single fucking second to undo all that I had been trying to convince myself of for the past few years..."

Pam’s voice trailed off as she saw Jim take his eyes off her. I’m standing here, pouring my heart out, Jim! Look at me. For the love of God, can’t I even keep your attention for this? Pam thought.

When Jim’s gaze didn’t return to her, she turned to follow his eyes. He was looking at the doors of the indoor jungle gym where some kids were playing. The doors had just swung open and a few children were making their way back to their parents tables. What are you looking at, Jim? Pam caught the eye of one small girl in particular, who’s dark brown hair and light brown complexion stirred a feeling of vague familiarity within Pam’s core, but which she could not directly place. Pam turned back to Jim for a second, and caught Jim’s eye, which suddenly seemed to be flooded with a sense of urgency and nervousness. That’s when she saw it, out of the corner of her eye. On the table where Jim sat was a small childs toy, which looked like something that would come with a childrens Happy Meal menu. For a second, she was extremely confused, but all that confusion cleared in an instant when she heard the childs soft inncent voice from behind her when she spoke.

"Daddy, I’m done now. Can we go?"