Pam hadn’t been to a funeral in ages, and she was certainly dreading going to this one, for a number of reasons. On top of all the emotions she was attempting to understand and deal with, she had an excruciating hangover, as a result of drinking herself near to death the night before, after her conversation with Jim, and confrontation with Jim’s daughter. She had left the restaurant last night in a hurry, blinded by tears and rage and confusion. When she got home all she could think to do was drink herself into a blind stupour, there, in her appartment, by herself, blasting Indigo Girls CD’s and watching the Princess Bride. She had passed out by 10:30, exhausted and cried out, and woke up twelve hours later with the worst headache she though she had ever had. Just getting dressed and presentable enough to make it to the funeral on time was a monumental challenge.

Any hope that all of the last evenings events were a product of a hallucinogenic dream where quickly and violently quashed when Pam walked into the funeral chapel and saw Jim and his daughter standing in the foyer. Jim was introducing her to Ryan, Stanley, and Toby who stood in a circle, huddled around each other and speaking in hushed tones. Pam avoided even looking at them, fearing catching Jim’s gaze. She quickly found a seat in the back of the chapel beside Angela, who wore black from head to toe, and a black translucent vale over her eyes.

Sitting silently in the quiet chapel brought back into Pam’s mind two overbearing thoughts; her headache, ever present, and secondly, the thought she had been trying to avoid thinking about since the night before. Jim has a daughter! With Karen. There was no doubt in her mind who was the mother of the child. Karen’s features were unmistakeably evident in the face, the eyes, even the mannerisms of the child, from what Pam could tell. Jim has a daughter. The phrase kept repeating itself in her mind, as Pam struggled with the gravity of that truth and all its implications. And yet Pam had so many questions. When Pam saw her the night before she was so overcome with emotion her first reaction was to run. She hadn’t taken the time to ask Jim if he was still with Karen, although she now assumed he must be. Pam tried her best to guess the age of the little girl. She couldn’t be older than three, Pam assumed, because as far as she knew, Karen was not pregnant when she left Scranton for Corporate three years earlier.

Pam thought about Jim, and his daughter. It was clear to her now; Jim had moved on in life, and left her behind. It had finally happened. Just thinking about it caused Pam’s heart to ache with such a fiery intensity that she could hardly contain her tears. She felt a little foolish, now, crying over Jim at a funeral for her kind, if not a little strange, former coworker. But there was no sense in rationalizing her feelings or emotions at this point. Or in trying to curtail them. She wished she hadn’t opened herself to Jim the way she had in the restaurant the night before, because now Jim knew how she felt, and there was nothing he or she could do about it, especially now that Jim was a father to Karen’s child. But, Pam resigned, she did say it, and that was that. Now she’d just deal with it the best way possible.

She decided to get up and leave.

That was the best plan, as far as she could figure. If she left now, she could avoid Jim, or all the other coworkers, and their glares, and their probing questions about Jim’s return, or Jim’s daughter. She didn’t want to deal with any of that now, or ever.

She grabbed her purse and was just about to get up when the Minister got up to give the eulogy. It was then that she realized that this moment, this day was not about her. It was time to stop thinking about her, and to take some time to think about Creed. And life. Her life.

The Minister in his eulogy spoke about living life to the fullest, and being kind to one another as man’s greastest calling. For some reason, Pam found the Ministers words especially calming, and reassuring.

"Many of you know that Creed was an excellent musician," the Minister spoke. "What many of you may not know is that one of Creed’s favourite musicians was a man by the name of Burt Bacharach. At this time I think it’s appropriate to remember the words of Burt’s most famous song. "What the world needs now, is love, sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of." Creed Bratton did his best on this earth to show the world a little love. Those of you who know him well know he was a man characterized by kindness, charity and forgiveness. In a few moments, some of Creed’s family members will come and share the pulpit, and give us examples of how he exemplified these virtues in his life to those he cared for and came in contact with...."

When the service ended, she tried her best to exit the funeral chapel quickly and with little fanfare. To her disappointment, Phyllis started up a conversation with her right at the door, and she knew she was trapped. She managed to get away from Phyllis, and in doing so made a dart for the door, not seeing Jim anywhere nearby. However, yusts she got to her car door and unlocked it, she heard Jim’s voice.

"Someone wants to meet you, Beesley."

Pam stopped, straightened and took a deep breath. She turned around to see Jim, walking towards her with his daughter walking beside him, holding his hand. Pam’s earlier conviction that the girl was definitely Karen’s daughter was now indisputable, as she looked at the girl up close. She had so many of the same features; she was tall and thin, with beautiful brown hair, gorgeous eyes, flawless skin. She was shy, and as Pam approached her, she tried to hide behind Jim’s leg, but Jim brought her out, and kneelded down beside her. Pam instinctively took a step closer and kneeled down so as to be at her eye level.

"Gracie, can you say hi to Pam?" Jim coaxed, but the little girl was unresponsive.

Pam smiled. She decided to initiate the conversation.

"Hi, Gracie. You have a beautiful name. My name’s Pam."

Still nothing.

Pam reached into her purse and pulled something out. It was a package of Grape Life-Savers.

"Do you like Life-Savers?" Pam asked.

The girl’s eyes opened widely, and she instinctively reached out her hand, which caused Jim and Pam to laugh.

"Oh! I see you do." Pam unwrapped the candy and placed it in her hand. The girl closed her fingers around it and looked Pam in the eye.

"Can you say thank you to Pam, Gracie?" Jim promted.

Quickly the young girl pushed the candy in her mouth. She paused a moment, sucking stealthily on the candy before she mouthed a reply.

"Fank youuuuu", she replied, in a montone voice, as though she had rehearsed this scene hundreds of times before without understanding the meaning of it.

"Okay, Gracie girl, let’s get you to the car." Jim said, getting to his knees and taking his daughter by the hand.

Pam got up and was about to turn to walk away when she saw Gracie reached out her hand to Pam, gesturing her to take it. Unsure at first, Pam reached out her hand and took the offered hand of the young girl, whos other hand was clasped in her fathers. Jim looked at Pam as if to say "Well, I guess you’re stuck with us now."

So in this fashion Jim and Gracie and Pam walked together to Jims car in silence, the three of them holding hands, in the parking lot of a funeral home. It was a brief moment, but an impactful one for Pam. The moment when Pam realized she may be holding the hand of a child belonging to her one true love and his wife was only awkward and uncomfortable for a second. Strangely, surprisingly for Pam, that feeling was replaced. What came to the surface of Pam’s emotion instead was that this moment felt so right, so comfortable to her. So many times she had envisioned being the father of Jim’s children. Countless times she had dreamed scenes similar to this one, with Jim, and their children, walking together, hand in hand. How good it felt, how happy it made Pam feel. Even if it was only for a fleeting second. Later on she could deal with the reality that this was not the their child. For right now, even if it was just in her imagination, she could deal with that.

"Jim, she’s so beautiful" Pam gushed as Jim closed the door after buckling his daugther into her carseat.

"Yeah. She’s pretty sweet. I think she likes you." Jim smiled at Pam, and like always, Pam could not contain her smile when she saw Jim’s. It was beyond her control.

"I know, right? First kid to like me ever! Sweet."

There was a moment of pause as Jim stared intently into Pam’s face. He was stunned by her beautiful smile. Everything about her made him weak, and happy, and not to mention turned on. Jim was first to break the silence.

"Listen, Pam. I just wanted to say sorry for..."

"No, Jim, don’t." Pam quickly interrupted. "You don’t have to say anything. It’s me who should be apologizing. I was a complete idiot last night. I don’t know what came over me. I had no right to say all those things. And even worse, to run away like that. It was pretty childish of me. I...I’m just sorry. About everything. You’re committed now. You’ve got a beautiful daughter. You have a whole other life. You’re blessed and lucky, and I should be happy for you and not be so self centred and...and... Anyway. I’m happy for you.

"Pam. Shut it." Jim gave Pam a smile that all at once told her she didn’t have to worry. She didn’t have to say anything. It was going to be okay. Or so she felt.

"Pam. I have so much to say to you, and if you hadn’t run away last night, I could have explained everything. First of all, who get’s McDonalds pies anymore? Those things are gross!"

Pam reciprocated Jims smile as she remembered what she had ordered, realizing she had forgotten to eat it. It was still in her car on the passenger seat.

"It was apple", Pam replied with a smile. "They’re amazingly good, Jim."

"Whatever Beesley. Listen. I want to talk to you, but here’s not good, and I have to meet Karen in an hour."

Karen. Hearing the name jarred her. She just hoped it wasn’t visible.

"Oh...uh, yeah, sure." she stammered. "Did you wanna get a coffee or something?"

"Yes. No. A beer. I think we need to have a beer, or a margarita, Beesley. Do you drink margerita’s?"

The very thought of alcohol just about brought back up the vodka coolers in her stomach. She was not in the mood for alcohol now, except for the fact that Jim wanted to drink, and tha was enough to almost make her agree.

"Well, on occassion. But right now I think I just need a coffee."

"Sure thing Pam. How about we meet at Poor Richards at three?"

"You’re not going to bring your daughter into the bar, are you?"

"No, Karen’s taking her. That’s part of the reason why I’m here."

What? Pam thought. She didn’t fully understand.

"Hey, where is Karen?" asked Pam. Karen knew Creed. She was part of Scranton crew. Why would she not have attended the funeral?

"She, uh, had business to do, or something. Corporate stuff, I guess." Jim’s anwer and body language were equally evasive, and a little mysterious.

"Um. Okay then." Pam replied. I’ll see you at three." She turned and walked to her car. She unlocked the door and got in. Looking at the clock she realized she had an hour before she would meet Jim at the bar, so she decided to go home, shower, and change into some jeans. Despite all the distractions and craziness of the night before, she distinctly recalled Jim’s reaction when he saw her in her jeans, that he was very pleased, and could hardly take his eyes off her. So she thought she’d wear them again, for his benefit. Even if he still was with Karen. She wanted him to see what he gave up when he left Scranton, and her, and her dreams, those three years ago.