She’s pretty sure he has a thing for doorways because every time she sees him he’s filling up a threshold somewhere. Right now he’s silhouetted by the light of day at his back at the entrance of the dark pizza parlor. Alex has run ahead of him but his daughter still clutches his hand carefully. Pam motions them over and he grins as they make their way to the table she’s scouted out.

Pam stands up and crouches at his daughter’s eye level, the little girl shyly says her name is ‘Lily’ before burying her face in the side of Jim’s leg, Pam’s heart melts a little. Both of her kids had been outgoing and preternaturally mature for their ages and although she couldn’t be more proud of them she’s always had a soft spot for shy kids- maybe because she had been one.

When they finally get seated, Pam’s almost sure that she hears Lily say to her softly, “I like your hair,”

She can’t help but look up at Jim and he shrugs his shoulders with a smile, “Disney’s Rapunzel came out and suddenly curly hair is her favorite thing in the world.”

“Who is your favorite character?” Pam asks as she leans over to better hear Lily over the din of the restaurant.

“Rapunzel,” she replies soflty.

Pam racks her brain and suddenly she can remember the costume the character wears throughout the film. She grabs a flier from the end of the table and a pen from her bag. With a few pen strokes and a flourish she presents the drawing to the little girl and watches her eyes widen.

“It’s me!” She says with a little squeak, “I have curly hair and I’m wearing the Rapunzel dress,”

Lily’s enthusiasm is infectious and soon Pam is covering the rest of the flier with doodles of her brother as fireman and Jim as a wizard. By the time the page is almost full Lily is laughing and pointing and bouncing in her seat and Pam isn’t sure that she is even the same girl who was to shy to introduce herself a few minutes ago.

“Ali!” Jim calls out to his son, motioning him over. 

The boy goes a little red as he almost hisses at his father, “Dad, you said you weren’t going to call me that.”

“Sorry Buddy, I forgot I swear,” Jim says as he holds his hands up in surrender, “Can you take your sister to play with you guys? You want to play with them right Lil?”

Lily shakes her head yes enthusiastically and bounces out of her seat.

“Why don’t you thank Pam for your drawings?” he asked gently.

“Thank you!” Lily says as she throws her little arms around Pam’s shoulders.  Pam caresses her smooth little head and smiles at her affectionately.

“Come on Lil,” Alex says holding out his hand to his sister. Lily begins to point out to her brother all the characters on the flier and wave her hands dramatically in a way that reminds Pam of Jim.

“Alex seems like a great kid, it’s not your average eight year old who willingly takes his little sister to play with him.”

“Alex is amazing with her. Since Karen left he’s become so protective of her. Hell, I can’t even scold her a little for not finishing her food, which she is terrible about by the way, without her knight in shining Reebok’s rushing to her defense.” He says with a giant grin, it’s obvious that he’s incredibly proud of his son.

“Wow,” she says with an awed look on her face.

“What?” he asks.

“You’re someone’s Dad, Jim…jeez.” She shakes her head in amazement at the very idea.

“And you’re someone’s Mom,” He says gesturing towards her with his beer.

“And…you’re here, I mean…we’re here together…at Adventure Zone?” she holds up both her hands and shrugs her shoulders at the universe as if to exclaim, ‘how is this possible?’

“I know, I don’t think I’ve processed that fact yet. That you’re here and you’re real…and…God,” he pauses for a moment and he can sense that neither of them are ready for this yet, “So Patterson huh?”

“I never changed my name legally…I just couldn’t change my initials to P.P,”

He choked a little on his beer, “Wow, you just have the worst luck with last names.”

“No Shit Sherlock,” she says as she tips back the bottle.

“Beesly, languange. We’re in a family establishment,” he says laughingly while clutching his heart in faux indignation.

When the laughter peters out into silence she asks, “Seriously though, how are you guys holding up,”

When the smile slides off his face she almost wishes that she hadn’t asked, but he needs to talk about this and she needs to hear it.

After a few moments of silence she hears him say, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”  He looks up at her, “I didn’t expect it at all. I mean one moment we’re in a marriage I think is doing fine, we have these two amazing kids and then…God, I sound like I’m on a bad Lifetime movie.”

“Is there any other kind of Lifetime movie?”

He chuckles, “Our whole marriage I was the fun Dad and Karen was the enforcer.  I would take Ali to baseball games and I taught them how to play practical jokes,”

“What did you put in the jello?”

“Her lipstick, she didn’t think it was that funny.”

“I imagine not,” she says dryly.

“I’m terrible at the enforcer role, and I guess it was never fair of me to pawn all that off on Karen; but I honestly have no idea how to discipline them. Luckily for me they’ve been amazing since she left…it’s like they know I’m struggling and they’re trying to help.”

“Kids can be really perceptive like that, after their Dad left I spent about six weeks trying to explain to them that their Dad didn’t choose his new baby over them but that he chose his new wife over me, and as amazing as that was for my self-esteem it seemed to reassure them that they were loved…by both of us. And since then they’ve been amazing.”

“His new baby?”

“He knocked up his secretary, she’s just 24 now and already a mother…poor little thing.”

“You feel sorry for the woman who stole your husband?”

“I’m not a Saint, I just can’t get over the fact that she’s just a decade and a half older than my kids.  Besides, I loved my husband but I wasn’t in love with him like you were with Karen. We got married because we were 30 and we wanted kids.”

“She said she left because I never loved her like she wanted to be loved. She said she stuck with me for so long because she thought I would…she thought I would love her like she thought I loved you.”

“But you didn’t love me anymore when you were with her”

He looks at her now and even though they’re here with their kids at Adventure Zone and his temples are gray and she’s got another three inches on her hips and it’s been thirteen years since she last saw him, she feels like she’s 25 again and he’s trying to woo her with his gaze. But then again she misinterpreted his love once and that was when she was young and stupid and now she’s old and jaded so there’s not even a chance of that happening again.

“I’m so sorry. For everything”

“For what? Falling in love with someone else? It’s not surprising…and I know that you’re probably thinking that I’ve changed my tune but I guess I’ve had thirteen years to think about it. It isn’t fair that we fell in love with one another at different times in our lives. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, I mean I can totally see how you fell in love with…”

“Stop. Just….don’t be nice, I made the biggest mistake of my life.”

“Hindsight is 20/20, but if you had to do it over again you would still choose her.”

“No I wouldn’t.”

“Don’t. You wouldn’t because now you know it ends badly.  You loved her then.”

“I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life about six months after you left.”

Now she really feels like the room is disappearing around her and she’s not sure how she went from frazzled single mom to a star in her own personal soap opera in the span of a few hours. Something about this man makes her life feel more dramatic, like the soundtrack from Requiem for a Dream should be running in the background or something.

“I called your Mom,” he says suddenly

“She never told me.”

“I told her not to. I couldn’t find you and I called her desperate for your contact information.  She said to me…and I’ll never forget this…she said to me, ‘She loves you and she’s just started to heal again. I’ll give her your number if you promise to either tell her you love her or tell her you’re over her…you’ve got to take her back or let her go.”

“And you couldn’t do either?”

“I was an idiot.”

“You loved Karen.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because…because the idea that at least you’re happy has kept me going for 13 years,” she moves to take another sip and realizes her beer is empty, “I’m empty,” it strikes her again that they’re in Adventure Zone and that they’re forty and it’s ridiculous for them to rehash a long dead relationship. “Fuck,” she says shaking her head, “Look. You need a friend right now, God knows I did when I became a single parent…Hell, I almost called Meredith….all this other stuff is ancient history.  I loved you, you didn’t love me- it was 13 years ago.”

“Go out with me?”

She laughs, “You don’t even know me anymore, I don’t even know you. You just got divorced….You want me to be your rebound from your marriage?”

“Not immediately…I need six months to get the kids comfortable, go out with me in six months.”

”You’re trying to date nostalgia and she doesn’t put out.”

“I’m trying to tell you that I never stopped loving you.”

He still knows how to strike her speechless and when she manages to find her voice again, “You don’t mean that…you’re vulnerable.”

“I bought a can of turpentine when Alex was three just because it reminded me of how your apartment smelled, I spent a weekend pretending to strip paint off an old dresser because I just wanted to memorize how you smelled.”

“I don’t…”

“Karen was right, I never loved her like I loved you. I loved her, God I mean I loved her and she was…is…beautiful and wonderful and we had two gorgeous kids and she made me laugh and sometimes I could forget…but I was always in love with you, even when I didn’t want to admit it to myself,” he stops for a moment and he sees that she’s mesmerized by his speech, “But you know what? I’m 41 years old and I don’t even give a fuck anymore. The fact that you’re sitting here across from me more beautiful than I remember isn’t luck- it’s fate. And I’m not leaving till you tell me you’ll give me a second chance”

“You’re going to move into Adventure Zone?”

“They have ski ball, pizza and beer- it sounds like paradise to me.”

“Jim, I…”

“Say yes,” he catches her wrist in his hand and waits.