God the car feels stuffy. Should I roll the window down?
I used her. I hurt her. The look on her face when she realized what I was about to say…
I should feel guilty.
Any decent guy would feel guilty.
Fuck this traffic. Not even rush hour. I can’t wait to get out of here. Got to get back.
Why don’t I feel guilty?
Maybe I’m not a decent guy.
Okay, less traffic. That’s better. Never been so glad to be in New Jersey.
How could I have even thought I could live there? Not my fault. We wanted different things. Better this way. She should have known it was coming.
Bullshit, Jim, you used her. You know you did. You should have given it a try. You owed her that.
Couldn’t possibly. Too tired. Been so tired lately. And I did try. I really did. All I’ve done for months is try.
Had to happen sooner or later.
Shouldn’t have asked her to come to Scranton.
Had to do something. Couldn’t have gone back to Scranton without something. Hurt too much before.
Maybe I could have. Maybe we would have been together for months now.
But she didn’t even tell me about calling it off…how could I have known? How do I know now? What if I’m wrong about this? What if all she wants is friendship still?
I’m not wrong. No way.
How fast can I go without risking a ticket? 70 should be fine.
The beach…She said she called off her wedding for me. Then…Well I wish you would. She looked me right in the eye. She had to mean…it seemed like she had to mean something. There’s something there. I know there is something there.
Better be something there. What if there’s not? She’s fooled me before. Well, fuck it. Not like I can go back to Karen now. Not after that.
There is something there.
Always has been.
75 should be fine. Everyone goes 75.
There was even something there before I left. She was just stuck.
She’s not stuck anymore.
She’s so different. The beach…When did that happen? When did she change? In front of everyone…then straight to my face.
Still can’t wrap my mind around it.
That was really her? That was Pam?
Of course it was, dumbass.
When did she change? It must have been lately.
Why did she go back to Roy? What was up with that?
Same reason I told Karen to come to Scranton?
No, she didn’t feel like I felt.
Did she?
Maybe she did.
All this time?
She called off her wedding for me. She said it right in front of everyone.
Why didn't she say something sooner? Why didn't she say something when I came back?
God, she asked me out. I blew her off. Thought she just wanted it to be the same.
Maybe not. Oh no, maybe all this time...Maybe she’s been feeling just like I felt before. This whole time.
Only…God. Seeing me with Karen. Every day. And I barely talked to her. Barely noticed her. Tried never to notice her. That was the whole point.
Oh God.
I am not a decent guy.
I hurt everyone.
She hurt me first. I can still feel it now.
Gotta make this work. Can’t blow this.
Maybe this will work. Maybe soon I’ll be with her.
God, wow. I wonder what she’s like? Her breasts? Maybe I’ll see them soon. I wonder what she likes?
Maybe I’ll get to…
78 should be fine. They won’t ticket under 80.
Why does New Jersey have to be so wide?
I wonder if she’s only been with Roy?
I can do better than Roy. He couldn’t have been that great.
I can show her a thing or two.
Easy. Patience. She might need to take it slow.
But we’ve known each other for years. What are we gonna do, hold hands while we see movies together?
We know each other. We’ve done the friendship thing.
Women are different. Don’t rush.
But wow, what if tonight…
No, no. Don’t start getting your hopes up.
Welcome to Pennsylvania. Damn right.
Why couldn’t Scranton be where Stroudsburg is? I’d practically be there already.
80 should be fine. Lots of people go 80.
She’ll still be at the office, right? Any reason why she could be gone?
She should still be there.
What am I gonna say?
Shit.
Gotta do this right. Can’t fuck it up. Can’t blow this.
Scranton 37. 37 still? Damn.
Maybe a little more than 80 will be okay.
Think.
Should I tell her I’m sorry?
I forgive her?
I still love her?
I just left Karen because I want to be with her?
All true.
Seems a little much.
Am I going to talk to her in front of everyone while she sits at her desk?
Can’t do that.
Can’t sit around and wait for the right time though.
Should I ask her to come somewhere and talk to me?
What am I going to say?
Need to be alone with her. No cameras or people. For a while. Lots to say. Need time.
Think.
What do you do when you want to be with someone?
Ask them out.
Dinner.
That could work. No reason why that couldn’t work.
Ask her to dinner.
Seems normal enough. Shouldn’t freak her out.
Lots of time to talk at dinner.
Then after dinner…
Maybe?
A kiss?
Many kisses?
Good old fashioned making out?
I would love to make out with her.
More?
Her place?
My place?
Being with her?
Easy now.
Women are different.
She might need to take it slow. Lots of stuff to deal with.
Not that different though. Maybe.
Scranton 21. 21 still? Should be 15. Damn.
85 isn’t that bad. Haven’t seen any cops anyway.
When should dinner be?
Tomorrow night?
I’ll never sleep.
Tonight.
Short notice though. Is that rude?
Well, if she minds short notice I’m fucked anyway.
She might just think it’s a friendly dinner.
Don’t want that. Got to be more than that.
I hope she wants more than that. God, please.
She does. I think she does. The look on her face at the beach. She wouldn’t
have been like that over just friendship, right?
Women are different.
Not that different.
God, she is so great.
Maybe this will work.
She’s so beautiful. And funny. And…
God I have missed her.
What the hell have I been doing?
Me living in New York? Working in corporate?
What the hell have I been thinking?
No wonder I’ve felt so weird.
So tired.
Tired of pretending. Of trying.
Tired of Karen.
I should feel guilty.
I don’t.
Am I a bad guy?
Maybe I don’t deserve Pam?
Maybe I will fuck it up and hurt her?
No.
She’s the one.
Always has been.
I am so in love with her.
Got to make this work.
I can make this work. We can make it work. I’m not a bad guy. Things have just been…
God, I’ve already hurt her. The beach. Her face. Her voice. I’ve already hurt her.
Shit.
Got to make it up to her. Time to do this right.
I’ve got to deserve her.
God, she’s so amazing.
That way she moves. Her hair. Her smile.
I haven’t seen her smile much lately.
My own fault.
Wow, slow down. Speed limit 35.
What if she’s gone for the day?
Why would she be? She’ll be there.
Stay green, stay green, stay green…Nice! First time I’ve ever made that light.
What if she has plans?
What plans would she have?
Wow. Maybe…I might be with her tonight. Maybe she won’t need to take it
slow. I wonder what she feels like? Her skin. I wonder if she’d like it if I…
Easy. Slow down.
Women are different.
She hasn’t even said yes to dinner.
Stay green. Stay green. Wow, another one.
What if she says no?
She’s not gonna say no.
Together. With her. Every day.
Wow.
Gotta make this work.
I wonder what she looks like first thing in the morning? I wonder if she likes it
first thing in the morning? I hope so. Maybe every day can start out like that. I wonder if she likes it every day? I think she might. Twice a day?
Too much to hope for.
Easy Jim. Be cool.
Stay green. Stay green. Amazing! Three in a row, baby. Never happens.
A sign, maybe?
I miss her.
I hope she’ll be happy when I ask her.
What should I say exactly?
Will you have dinner with me tonight?
I’d like to take you to dinner tonight?
Could we have dinner tonight?
Are you free for dinner tonight?
Maybe I’ll go with that one. That sounds okay.
Stay green. Four in a row? Is it possible? Amazing.
God, I’m going to be there in one minute.
My stomach hurts. I’ve felt a little like this before. When I have I felt like this before?
God, it was high school…Calling Megan to ask her to out. Senior year. I wonder what happened to her?
Where is her car? Her car better be here. There it is. Good. She’s here. And the space next to her is empty.
Maybe we’ll walk out together tonight.
Gotta make this work.
Okay Jim. Relax.
If she says yes, should I bring flowers? Would that be lame?
Fuck it, I’ll get her a whole big bunch.
She probably hasn’t had enough flowers lately. Or ever, probably.
One thing at a time.
I’m definitely going for the goodnight kiss. At least.
One thing at a time.
Wow.
This is it.
She is it.
This is going to work out.
This is our last minute apart.
This is the last first date I’m ever going to ask for.
Here it goes…
