There was a thunderstorm outside, and she sat in the window of her hotel room watching the rain fall. She didn't have the energy to drag herself out into the rain for another day of apartment hunting, so she just sat there, daydreaming.
It had been three weeks since Jim had broken up with her, and two weeks since she started her new job at the Dunder Mifflin headquarters. It wasn't the job she had originally applied for - Ryan had gotten that one - but it was an okay job and one that had gotten her the hell out of Scranton as quickly as humanly possible. She wanted nothing more than to erase the last six months from her memory, even though, to be honest, most of those memories were nice ones.
She had really, truly been in love with Jim, and the breakup hurt her worse than anything else she could remember. But if she were honest with herself, she knew her relationship with Jim was never going to last. The simple fact was that she just was not Pam, and she would never be Pam, but she had hoped that maybe if he went to New York with her, he would eventually learn to love her.
But here she was, sitting in a hotel room, alone, watching the rain and reflecting on her choices. She was strong, and she would get past this. She knew that much.
She wasn't feeling so great though, and she suddenly felt like she had to lie down. The weather sometimes affected her, especially thunderstorms like this one where there was so much electricity in the air. As she lay in bed, dozing off, her thoughts drifted back to her last night with Jim, in a hotel room very much like this one, three weeks ago.
He had sat on the edge of the bed while she got undressed, not watching her, just kind of staring off into space. When she had her silk pajamas on she sat down next to him and rubbed his back. "I had fun tonight," she said softly.
"Me too," he replied.
"I love you," she said, hoping that maybe, this time, he would say it back. But instead he put his hands on her face and drew her toward him, his lips meeting hers somewhat frantically. They fell back on the bed and he pulled her on top of him, quickly removing the nightie she had just put on moments before.
A little while later after they had made love, she watched him sleeping peacefully with his head half under one pillow and his arm flopped over the side of the bed. And that's the first time she thought that maybe he was never going to say it.
And now as she remembered that night, she felt the hollow empty feeling in her chest again. She felt like crying, and wondered when she got so emotional. She was usually so levelheaded. Maybe I just have PMS, she thought. Suddenly she bolted upright in the bed. Something wasn't right. She ran over to the desk and opened her day planner. It was already June ninth. Her period had been due on June second.
"Oh my God," she said out loud. Between the move and the breakup and the new job and everything that was going on in her life, she totally forgot about her stupid period. She had thought that her fatigue and raging emotions were due to stress. And she was always so regular; she could run a calendar off her cycles.
She collapsed on the bed and started sobbing. No, it can't be, she thought, we were always careful. What would she do? Maybe she wouldn't tell him. There was a chance he would never find out; it's not like he went to the New York office regularly or anything. She could raise the baby alone. Plenty of people do it everyday.
But she knew that wasn't an actual option. She would have to tell him. She wondered how he would take it. Would he be angry? No, probably not. He would probably be sad. Then her mind went in a different direction, and she thought, wait a minute, maybe this would be enough, maybe he would want her again. After all, if she were carrying his child... well, that would be something she had that Pam didn't.
Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all. But she had to know for sure. She grabbed her umbrella and headed out into the rain to find a drugstore.
A half hour later she was back in her room, staring at the box she held in her hand. She thought of Jim, and his lopsided grin and his sense of humor and the way he made her feel like no one ever had before. She would give anything to have that back again. She opened the box, removed the test and slowly walked into the bathroom.
She unwrapped the test and put it out on the counter. Her heart was beating so fast she couldn't hear herself think. But as she got ready to take the test she was met with a surprise - her period had arrived.
She felt the tears come. She didn't know whether it was relief or disappointment, but she stared at the test, thinking maybe she should take it anyway. Her period was so late that maybe she was actually having a miscarriage. She had two friends who had that exact thing happen to them. For a long time she held the test in her hand, just looking at it, and then tossed it in the trash.
It was better this way.
~
Jim: "Karen? No, I haven't heard from her. I hear she's doing well though. I feel bad for the way things ended between us, but to be honest, she deserved so much more than I could give her. And I'm sure she'll find that someday. Or maybe she already has. I hope so."
Four Dunder Mifflin Employees Who Find Out They're Pregnant... And One Who Doesn't by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Chapter Notes:
This chapter is way angstier than the others. You have been warned. ;)
Also, in case it's not obvious, these stories aren't necessarily in chronological order.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
Guess who comes next?
