It was a few days before Thanksgiving, and she had been living with Michael for six months. Every day she would watch Oprah and Days of our Lives, surf the Internet, bake something, and wait for him to get home at 5:15. That is, on the days she didn't show up at the office in the middle of the day, to check in on him. Even though she wasn't his boss anymore that didn't mean she couldn't make sure he was doing his job. She wasn't technically allowed on company property since she had been fired, but that didn't matter. It's not like Michael was going to call security on her. She was his live-in girlfriend, after all.
She had decided a few months ago that if she was ever going to have a baby, it had to be soon. She was almost forty and she didn't want to be an old lady when her kid graduated high school. So she started charting her cycle and kept Michael on a strict schedule so they could have the best chance of conceiving. On her fertile days she made him have sex three or four times a day, and he usually would protest, asking to cuddle instead. Cuddling doesn't make babies, she would tell him, and he would comply, although he was always exhausted the next day and she would have to wake him up so they could have sex again before he went to work. Sometimes on those days she would meet him at the office and they would do it in the supply closet or the car if no one else was around. She didn't want to miss a fertile moment.
Of course, because she was trying to conceive she had to quit smoking and taking pain medication, which was a pretty big sacrifice for her. So she started taking yoga and eating organic food and generally trying to live a healthier lifestyle. And now she never felt better. Well, most of the time. There were also the times where she would cry to herself while watching Oprah, wondering how she ended up in this place.
On this day when she woke up she took her temperature and found that it hadn't dropped, even though her period was supposed to start that day. So she went into the bathroom and used her first morning's urine on one of the pregnancy tests that she had purchased in bulk from ebay. She waited a minute after peeing on it while it didn't seem to change at all, but then slowly she saw a second line start to appear. It was faint, but as the ladies' on her "TTC" message board would say, a line is a line. She beamed happily at the test, and decided that she needed to take a drive over to Dunder Mifflin to surprise Michael.
When she walked in the office she noticed that Pam wasn't at her desk. That girl is never doing her job, Jan thought to herself, but then reminding herself that it wasn't her concern anymore. Jim Halpert wasn't at his desk either, she noted, and decided they were probably off making out in the closet together. So unprofessional.
She only knocked once on Michael's door before she opened it.
"Hi!" she said cheerfully as she walked toward his desk.
"Oh, hey Jan, I was just doing some paperwork. I am super busy today," he said, adding, "So much so that I'm not sure I can even have time to talk to you, I'm so busy."
"Michael, what is it that you're doing exactly?"
He paused. "Oh, you know, the reports."
"What reports?"
"The ones... that I... have to... do."
She looked at him, exasperated. "You're just making that up, aren't you?"
"No," he said quickly, then "Yes." He put his head in his hands. "Okay."
She ignored him and smiled at him. "Well. I come bearing good news."
"Oh?"
She opened her purse and pulled out the pregnancy test, depositing it on his desk.
"What is that?" he asked, confused.
"It's a pregnancy test," she answered, "and it's positive."
He stared at it for a long time, then asked slowly, "And positive means good, so that means..."
"It means we're going to have a baby, Michael."
He just sat there for maybe a full minute before he asked, "Are you sure?"
"A line is a line, Michael."
"Wha- I mean, this is..." He couldn't complete his sentence.
"We'll have to get married, of course," Jan said, sitting down. "I was thinking maybe going back to Sandals, just the two of us, make it a private thing. Then we'll have to start looking at other houses because your condo is just too small."
"Okay," he said numbly.
"And I would appreciate you keeping this quiet for the time being, just in case, you know, it doesn't last."
He looked up. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Well, you know one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage," she replied.
"Oh no!" Michael stood up. "You should go home and go to bed right away."
"Michael, I am not going to stay in bed for nine months. If it happens, it happens. There's nothing anyone can do..."
"Well, it's not going to happen to MY baby!" he shouted. "Maybe we should get you a home nurse."
Jan sighed, stood up, and said, "Bye Michael. I'll see you at home."
A few minutes later, after Jan had left, Michael stood in front of the reception desk, staring out at his employees, smiling.
"Michael," Jim began, "is there something... you want to say?"
"No, it's just... I'm going to be a daddy!" he blurted out.
Pam and Jim looked at each other. Pam asked, hesitantly, "Is Jan pregnant?"
"Yeppers," he smiled. "And it's mine. My baby. I'm the daddy. Me. Can you believe it?"
"No," Jim said, "but congratulations. That's great."
~
Michael: "Am I looking forward to being a dad? Of course! I always thought I'd be a great dad someday. And that day is now. Well, not now, but nine months from now. And the thing about babies is, they always love their daddies. Unless their daddy is an asshole. But I'm not an asshole, so... it's all good."
Four Dunder Mifflin Employees Who Find Out They're Pregnant... And One Who Doesn't by ExtremelyGruntled
Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
