Chapter 8: I am beautiful 

“You’re not changing?” Jim walked out of the beach-front bungalow and approached Pam, who was sitting on the steps. She moved her head slightly to acknowledge that she’d heard him, but her eyes never left the scene in front of her. The expanse of ocean and cloudless sky, the soft waves of the sand, the splashes of color made by her children, their beach towels, their plastic buckets and shovels, the other people on the beach- her hand moved involuntarily as she imagined drawing the picture.

“Hmm, no,” she answered him. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t want to get in the water?” Jim sat down beside her.

“Not really.” They sat in silence for a while, Pam resting her hand lightly on her husband’s knee. He was wearing swim trunks, with a towel flung over one shoulder, and Pam was still wearing the comfortable sundress she’d worn for the drive to the beach.

Jim finally broke the companionable silence. “I can’t believe how well Lucy and Jamie are getting along today. Barely a peep in the car, and now she’s actually building a sandcastle with him?” At ages 15 and 12, respectively, the Halpert kids were equally likely to be best friends or blood enemies depending on the day. At the moment, though, Lucy was laboring playfully alongside her little brother as they piled damp sand into a huge mound.

“Shut up now before you jinx it,” Pam laughed gently. “Anyway, I’d much rather have her focused on that boy instead of those boys.” She gestured toward a group of young men a short distance down the beach.

Jim’s voice was tense as he answered, “What boys?” and Pam couldn’t help but laugh at his sudden defensiveness. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“You’re funny. Those boys there, with the blue cooler. They can’t keep their eyes off her.” It was true. Although playing it cool, the four guys kept glancing toward the two sandcastle architects, and not to admire the moat.

“The blue- Pam, they’ve got beer.”

“I think so, yes.”

“What are guys with beer doing looking at a little girl!?”

Pam laughed again, harder this time. “Sweetheart, I hate to point this out, but she’s fifteen- and she hardly looks like a little girl.” Lucy chose this moment to look up and wave at her parents. Tall and long-legged like the Halperts, she had also inherited a soft curviness from her mother that definitely belied her age. Soft brown curls and huge hazel eyes completed the picture of youthful (but certainly not childlike) loveliness.

Jim sighed. “I guess not. But--” he sighed again.

“But what? Those guys aren’t bothering her at all. And if she does notice, she’ll be flattered by the attention, but that’s all. Nothing to worry about.” It was Pam’s turn to sigh a bit.

Jim noticed, of course. He always read her moods perfectly. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Pam laughed a little at herself, and at the look of disbelief and concern on Jim’s face. “It’s just…oh, this is embarrassing. Never mind.”

“Pam?”

She turned her face slightly and rolled her eyes at herself before confessing. “Fine. It’s just that I sort of miss getting that kind of attention, that’s all.”

Jim looked stunned. His eyebrows shot up until they almost reached his slightly receded hairline. “You- you actually want to get ogled by a bunch of pedophile alcoholics?”

Pam’s shout of laughter made both of their kids, and several of the young men in question, turn and look in her direction. Controlling herself, she managed to answer her husband. “OK, first of all, wow with the slander. But to answer you, no, of course not. I just…I mean, look at Lucy and then tell me why I should go out in public in a swimsuit. It used to be fun to get that kind of attention, but I just feel old and dumpy now.”

Jim was still shaking his head bemusedly. “You are not old. You are not dumpy. You are a dummy if you are worried about what anybody on this beach thinks but me- and I think you are beautiful.”

Pam smiled. “You’re biased.”

Jim nodded. “Yes. But I’ve seen you naked, so I’m also the only true authority.”

Pam sighed again, squeezed Jim’s hand, and slowly stood and walked back into the bungalow. After a few minutes, she emerged, clad in her modest navy swimsuit and a cute cover-up.

“You changed after all,” Jim said, trying not to smirk.

Pam nodded, squinting slightly as she smiled toward the horizon. “Well, when the hottest guy on the beach likes to see you naked…how can a girl resist that kind of logic? Apparently, I am beautiful.”

“Good. You’re finally talking sense,” Jim said, kissing her lightly as they walked through the sand to join their kids.