I can accomplish anything  

“Shouldn’t you be getting changed?” Jim was already dressed in his dress shirt and tie, his suit jacket flung over his arm. Pam, on the other hand, was still in shorts and a t-shirt.

Pam smiled ruefully up at Jim from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed, the traditional garments laid out beside her. She answered, “Yes. I’m just procrastinating, I guess…it’s just that I’m going to look so fat and shapeless in that thing. Not to mention that because of my huge head, I look ridiculous in hats.” 

“It’s a ridiculous looking hat. But you’ll match all the other graduates up there, and it’s not like anyone is going to be looking at your figure anyway.” Jim had meant his reply to be some of their standard gentle teasing, but a little bit of bitterness had slipped into his tone. He looked at Pam quickly, hoping that perhaps she hadn’t noticed. No such luck.

She had cocked one eyebrow up and was looking at him suspiciously. “I realize that a graduation ceremony isn’t a fashion show, dear,” she said pointedly. “Is something else about it bothering you?”

Jim shook his head. “No, of course not. Why?” It was an unwise tactic, and he knew it, but they had to leave in less than 10 minutes if they were going to get decent parking; he didn’t want to get into all of it now.

“'Why’? Oh, I don’t know, just that you’ve been snippy all day. You barely spoke two words to Lucy when she called this morning, and I think Jamie’s hiding from you.” Pam gestured down the hallway toward their 17-year old son’s room, the door of which was closed.

Jim sighed. “Pam, we don’t have time for this if we’re going to get to your graduation in time.” Jim seemed incapable of saying the right things. He realized his mistake immediately when Pam’s eyes flashed amber-colored sparks.

She drew a deep breath before replying, “It’s my graduation, and I am perfectly happy to skip it if that’s what needs to happen to get this straightened out. Anyway, this is the first time you’ve actually acted like you wanted to go to the ceremony since I first mentioned it.”

“Pam. I don’t want you to miss this.” Jim’s voice and expression got lower and bleaker as he went on: “You’ve worked so hard for it for so long, it’s really…important and special and I have always tried to support you.” By the time he mumbled the end of his sentence, Jim was looking down at his feet.

“What is the matter with you? You say you’re trying to support me but it comes out like someone’s making you eat Brussels sprouts!” Pam was totally confused; it showed on her face and echoed in her voice. “I don’t understand your attitude. You’re the one who encouraged me to pursue my MBA after Lucy went away to school. You’re the one who chauffeured Jamie to practice and parties until he got his license so that I could do homework. You’re even the one who convinced Ryan to let me come back and do my thesis project at Dunder Mifflin. So why are you acting like you’re upset that I’ve actually graduated? It can’t possibly be a surprise that this happened. Or didn’t you think I could do it?”

Pam’s voice was mostly calm, but Jim recoiled as if she’d screamed. Shaking his head, he sank down onto the bed beside her. “Of course I thought you could do it. You can do anything you set your mind to. That’s not it at all.”

“Then what is it, Jim? You seem so miserable.”

“No. No, it’s just…” He sighed deeply. “It’s just that I see what you’ve done, and I just realize that I’ve done nothing. You’ve worked so hard, at your job, with the kids, and with school, and I-,” Jim sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I go off and mess with Dwight for a couple of hours, and come home and that’s…it. And now you’ve got your degree, and all your experience, and you can do anything. Anything. And I’m managing a branch of a mid-sized paper company. I feel like…like a failure, and like I’m holding you back.”

It was Pam’s turn to look stunned. “What?” was all she could manage to say.

Jim reached his hand up and pushed the slightly-grayed hair away from Pam’s temple. “I’ve never had much ambition, but I’m starting to think that I should have tried harder for you. So you could be as proud of me as I am of you,” he said softly.

Pam grabbed his hand, pressing it against her cheek for a moment and then lowering it, still grasped firmly in hers. “Listen to me, Jim Halpert. You are a wonderful husband, and a wonderful father. You do a great job at work- your clients and your employees love you- even Dwight sort of respects you now.” She grinned slightly before continuing. “The kids you coach, the people at church that you help, old Elaine next door whose lawn you mow- you touch lives wherever you go. I am so proud of you, and the man that you are.”

Jim looked away, touched and slightly embarrassed, but Pam wasn’t done. “Jim, you are the best friend I’ve ever had. I know I can accomplish anything- because I have you in my life. I wouldn’t have this degree without you. I wouldn’t have…I wouldn’t have anything without you.”

Jim drew Pam’s hand up to his lips, kissing it softly. With his other hand, he nonchalantly dashed away the tear that had slipped from the corner of his eye. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, then pressed his own against it. With a deep, grateful breath, Jim took in her love, her acceptance, her way of being exactly what he needed, still. As he released the breath, he whispered to her gently, “Actually, you’d still have your huge head.”

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The Halpert family reached the graduation ceremony in disarray. They had a terrible parking place, Pam’s gown and mortarboard were slightly askew, Jamie was limping from twisting his ankle in his haste to get to the car, and Jim was sporting a new bruise on his shin from where his wife had kicked him in defense of her head size. All three were laughing uproariously as they made their way, only a few minutes late, into the auditorium. When Jim called his daughter Lucy later that evening, he told her that her mother had never looked more beautiful than when she’d accepted her diploma.