January 28, 2010

Jim woke up at eight o’clock that morning – about an hour and a half later than he usually had – he had slept soundly through the night but the perturbed expression on Pam’s face as she continued to sleep said otherwise about her. He didn’t want to be that jerk father that slept through the night while the mother fed and changed the baby whenever it was needed. However, in the two days that they had been home with the newborn baby, he had felt pretty useless. He offered his assistance whenever he could, but there wasn’t a whole lot that he felt that he could do with the baby other than hold her and change her whenever Pam was too tied up or too tired to do it.

He rubbed his sleepy eyes and walked by Amelia’s cradle at the end of the bed and ran a finger along the side of her cheek and smiled proudly at his tiny little daughter. He was careful not to wake her as he walked past her. He wasn’t certain how many times that she had been up in the night, but he assumed the last thing that Pam needed was to be awaken again by the baby – then have it be his fault.

He walked from the room and went downstairs and the first thing that caught his eye was the red blinking light on the answering machine. He thought it was odd that he hadn’t once heard the phone ring that morning or the previous evening – or at least as far as he could remember, it hadn’t. On the other hand, they had turned off the ringer on the upstairs phone…

He pressed the “play” button and was immediately assaulted by Ryan’s vehemently angry voice.

“Where the FUCK are you, Jim Halpert?” Ryan’s voice played through the speaker. “The company in Australia has been calling since Monday wondering where the fuck you are and Michael is about to…well…I don’t know what he’s about to do, but he’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him before. You need to call or preferably come into the office as soon as possible.”

Jim just about slammed his head against the phone on the countertop. He couldn’t believe that he had actually forgotten to call into work and notify them that the baby had born. The thought that he had while leaving Australia he would be fired for missing the rest of his meetings for the week, but for some reason that thought had completely passed when he boarded the plane and his mind had gone somewhere else. Now the shocking reality that he might actually lose his job was flooding back into his mind – it was too early in the morning to deal with this.

He walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. He could do everything better with a little bit of coffee in him. He thought about what he would say to whomever he spoke with. The obvious thing to say was that Pam had the baby – it was a perfectly valid excuse, after all. He was certain the company wouldn’t stop without him around. Everyone had taken up his accounts while he was in Australia. With the exception of the company he had been working with in Australia, all the loose ends were tied up.

He wondered how many times someone had tried to reach him on his long-gone cell phone. He wondered how many messages he had on that phone…

A loud cry from the baby resounded down the staircase and Jim immediately set down his coffee mug and ran up the stairs, hoping that maybe he could get to the crying baby before she woke up Pam.

As he rounded the staircase though and looked through the open door of the room, Pam had already scooped the baby into her arms and was bobbing up and down trying to get the crying to cease.

“I was going to get her.” Jim said as he stood in the doorway and held his arms out towards the baby.

“No, it’s fine.” Pam said as she yawned, “I think she’s hungry.” She paused, “I hope she’s hungry…”

“You sure? Because I can take her.” he said, not lowering his arms.

“Positive.” she said with a nod as she crossed to the other side of the room and sat down in a chair next to the window.

“How many times did she wake you up during the night?” he asked as he watched as Pam calmed the baby girl.

“Three.” she yawned. “It wasn’t that bad, really.” She paused and her gaze met Jim’s, “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long.” he said. “I need to call work though.”

“I thought you were on your paternity leave.” Pam teased.

“I am.” he said. “It’s just…I may have forgotten to tell anyone that I left Australia and came back home…”

Her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened in shock. He could only imagine all of the choice words that she could throw at him for what he had done but she didn’t say anything. She simply shook her head and turned her attention back to Amelia.

“You’re not angry?” he asked, a little surprised.

“I’m not happy,” she replied quietly, “but I’m not exactly in any position to argue with you…especially now while I’m feeding her…”

“I’ll take my punishment later, then.” he said with a joking smile.

“What do you think is going to happen?” she asked quietly, not letting the subject drop so quickly.

“I don’t know.” he replied. “The company I was meeting with over there was pretty big but…I can’t really imagine that they would fire me for trying to get back to New York in order to be with my wife and be with our newborn child.”

“If you need to go to work for the next week or so, that’s okay.” she said. She didn’t visibly display it, but Jim could tell that there was disappointment in her voice.

He shook his head firmly, “No.”

“What?” she asked, her gaze meeting his again.

“No.” he replied, suddenly feeling that he needed to justify and validate himself, “I won’t go back to work. No, I deserve this break. Ever since I’ve become vice president all I do is work. I want some time with you, with the baby.”

Pam responded with a silent nod and Jim continued, “It’s just…I don’t want to be this vice president guy. I want to be a family guy.”

“What?” Pam asked, looking up at him again, her eyes a little wider than they had been.

“What?” he asked in reply.

“What did you just say?” she asked curiously.

“That I want to be a family guy.” he replied.

“I can’t believe you said that.” she said and he smiled a little at the look of disbelief on her face.

“Why?” he asked.

“It’s just…” she replied, “all the years that I’ve known you, you’ve been a working man. You’re Jim Halpert. Vice president of one of the world’s largest advertising companies and…” she stopped herself. She would have been lying if she said that she wanted him to be vice president of the company for the rest of his life. Yes, it was a great position and they really had no need to ever worry about money… However, deep down, she still wanted the life of domestic simplicity that she had grown up in and that she was certain she was going to have herself before she moved to the city and everything in her life changed.

“Penny for your thoughts before I go downstairs to get chewed out by Ryan or Michael or…” he stopped before he said Karen. He wasn’t sure if he would end up speaking to her or not, but he desperately hoped not.

“Oh.” she looked at him and shook her head, “I just…I want what you want, Jim.” He nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but Pam quickly continued to speak before he had a chance, “And you’re right. You need time here with me and Amelia. You make sure that you let Michael or whoever know that when you talk to them.”

He nodded, “Will do.”

***

He paced back and forth in the living room, his phone cradled against his ear, nervously awaiting his fate. He felt that he would much rather deal with this confrontation face-to-face in a secure meeting room. He didn’t want Pam to overhear the choice words that he often let himself blurt out while he was in heated, private meetings with Michael and Ryan. He realized that he could probably take the phone call out into the entryway that they shared with Ms. Rosen who lived next door but given her old age and the eccentric hours that she kept, he figured that she wouldn’t be anymore thrilled than Pam to hear him duking it out over the phone with someone that he worked with.

“Is everything okay, Jim?” Michael’s voice breaking the loop of musak over the line startled him. It wasn’t the greeting that he was planning on receiving at all – especially after he message that Ryan left on their home machine.

“Michael?” he replied, “Yes, everything is fine.”

“Oh thank goodness.” Michael replied with a relieved sigh. “I thought that you had gotten kidnapped by an Australian gang or your flight had mysteriously vanished somewhere around the Bermuda Triangle…”

“Michael, the Bermuda Triangle is in the Atlantic Ocean.” Jim said.

“So?” he asked.

“I flew over the Pacific Ocean.” he clarified.

“Wow. Yes. Okay, I knew that.” Michael said quickly. “So where the hell are you?”

“I’m in Manhattan.” he replied, feeling a bit more at ease.

“Then why aren’t you at work?” Michael asked sternly, Jim’s defenses starting to flare up a bit again. “Or maybe the better question would be why you are in New York and not in Australia?”

“Family emergency.” Jim stated calmly.

“Emergency?” Michael asked, the tone of his voice suddenly worried. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay? Oh no, did your mother die?”

“What?” Jim asked, “My mother?”

“No! It must be Pam!” Michael exclaimed as if he was playing a game of ‘Clue’ and trying to figure out who did which crime. “Oh god, Jim! What is wrong with Pam?”

“Nothing is wrong with Pam.” Jim stated calmly. “She just…she had the baby a couple days ago. I had to rush home in order to get here in time and…” He forcefully rubbed his fingers against his eyes. He wanted to try and forget what he had missed so desperately. He didn’t want to relive it all over again for his boss.

“And what?” Michael asked, eagerly taking the brief pause in the conversation to interject.

“And I didn’t make it in time.” Jim replied.

“Oh…” and there was a hushed silence from both of the men.

Jim heard the whimpering of a baby somewhere up the stairs and finally spoke, “Listen, Michael I really should…”

“I’ll come over there.” Michael interrupted.

“Excuse me?” Jim asked, a little dumbstruck.

“I need to discuss a few things with you, and well, obviously you can’t come into work, so I’ll come over there. Work out a couple of last minute things I was expecting you to wrap up for us in Australia.” Michael replied with confidence.

“Michael, I…I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jim said. He looked around the living and dining room – the place wasn’t a mess, but it certainly wasn’t as tidy as he would have wanted it to be, and he was certain that Pam wouldn’t appreciate Michael coming over.

“Nonsense!” Michael exclaimed. “After all, I can’t have a family man such as yourself leaving home when you have a baby there!”

“Exactly Michael.” Jim tried to reason. “I have a baby here. We really…I can come in. Just give me a couple of hours and I’ll be there…”

“Nope!” Michael exclaimed once more. “I just cancelled my morning appointments. I will be there in about an hour or so.”

“Wait, wait, Michael!” Jim cried into the receiver.

“Bye Jimmy! See you soon!” Michael said before there was a dull silence on the other end of the line.

“Michael!” Jim shouted, though he knew it was no use. When Michael made up his mind, he made up his mind. “Son of a bitch…”

He sat the phone back on its podium and turned around to see Pam staring at him wide-eyed with an equally wide-eyed Amelia in her arms.

“What was that about?” she asked.

“You know, the two of you have the exact same facial expression right now.” he replied, trying to lighten his now-sour mood.

“Are you in trouble?” Pam asked nervously.

“Trouble?” he replied. “I don’t know about trouble. But I should warn you that Michael has just invited himself over here.”

“He what?” she asked, her jaw dropping.

“I tried to tell him that I would go to the office but…he insisted.” he replied.

“Well you should have insisted that he stay where he is.” she said defiantly. “You think that I’m in any position to have anyone over right now? Look at me, Jim! I have this baby here needing me at any moment that she’s not asleep. I don’t think that I have any clean clothes. The place isn’t clean…”

He quickly closed the distance between the two of them and pulled her against his chest – careful not to sandwich Amelia between their two bodies – and ran a comforting hand up and down the small of her back.

“I know, I know.” he said. “We’ll…I’ll try and get him to go out to a restaurant or something.”

Pam nodded and pulled away from his embrace, “Will you take her?” She handed the baby towards Jim and he eagerly took her in his own arms. “If we’re going to have company I need to go take a shower.”

“What if she…” he started.

“Cries?” she finished. “Try and calm her down. I just fed and burped her, so she should be okay for a little while at least.”

“Okay.” he said with a small smile.

“And if by some cruel act of fate Michael arrives before I’m out of the shower…keep him down here, and please, please don’t let him touch Amelia.” she said, shaking her head with a bitter expression on her face. “I don’t know where that man has been or…who he has been with…”

“I’ll protect her.” he said.

***

Pam took a long shower, and Jim was pleased that she did. She had hardly allotted any time away from the baby since they arrived back home from the hospital. He kept careful track of the time and he paced over towards the window every five minutes, looking out for Michael. Each minute that passed that he still heard the water running, he worried that Pam wasn’t going to make it out in time to retreat with the baby to the bedroom.

The doorbell rang and the water was still running. He cursed in his mind and started silently asking Amelia to start crying again. Michael wouldn’t want to touch a crying baby – a happy, content baby though…Jim didn’t know what would happen.

He stood near the door for a moment, wondering whether he should rush upstairs with the child and lay her in her bed or if he should just answer the door. The answer came with another ring of the doorbell. He hoped that he wouldn’t have to deal with a livid Pam anytime soon…

“Michael!” Jim exclaimed, feigning happiness to see the one person he absolutely did not want to see at the moment.

“Oh my goodness, Jim! You weren’t lying!” Michael exclaimed, immediately holding out his arms towards the baby in Jim’s.

“No!” Jim exclaimed, quickly squaring off his shoulders, blocking Michael access to Amelia.

“No?” Michael asked, confused and a little surprised.

“She just…she’s not really ready for visitors just yet.” Jim replied. “The only reason I have her right now is because Pam is in the shower.”

“Oh.” Michael said as he nodded. He actually looked a little hurt.

“Come in though.” Jim said stepping aside.

“So what did you have?” Michael asked as he walked into Jim and Pam’s living room.

“What did I…” Jim replied. “Oh, the baby, you mean?”

“Yeah.” Michael asked, nodding towards Jim’s arms. “What is it? Boy or girl?”

“Girl.” Jim replied. “Amelia.”

Michael nodded with approval, as if he had any right to pass judgment in the first place and muttered a simple, “Nice.”

“Pam thought of it.” Jim said for reasons that he didn’t quite understand and he quickly noticed that the water wasn’t running anymore. “Listen, Michael. Can you sit tight here for a couple of minutes while I bring Amelia back upstairs?”

“I…” and they were both caught off-guard by the quick flurry of feet dashing down the stairs and Pam stopping very suddenly in the middle of the living room in front of the two men and the baby.

“I thought…” Pam said, flushed with embarrassment to be standing in front of Michael in only a fluffy hot-pink bathrobe. “The doorbell…”

“Michael’s here.” Jim said nervously, pointing to Michael as if Pam wasn’t staring directly at him – which she was.

“I’ll take Amelia.” Pam said, holding her arms out towards Jim. Jim seamlessly passed the baby over to Pam and she was back up the stairs in only a matter of a couple of seconds.

“She looks good.” Michael said with a look of what Jim could only pinpoint as astonishment on his face.

“Who?” Jim asked.

“Pam!” Michael exclaimed. “My god! If every woman looked like that after giving birth…wowza!”

“Wow.” Jim muttered looking towards the floor.

“I envy you, Jim Halpert.” Michael said.

“How so?” Jim asked.

“How so? How so?” Michael replied. “Oh, let’s see…you’re an extremely successful businessman.”

“So are you.” he interjected.

“And you have a gorgeous wife who is extremely talented,” Michael continued, “and now you have a gorgeous baby daughter.”

Jim nodded; he was lucky – and enviable, as Michael put it.

“You could have all of that too, Michael.” Jim said.

“No, I couldn’t.” Michael said quietly, looking towards the floor.

“Of course you could.” Jim said. “I mean, yes, you would have to find a woman who is willing to actually be with you for longer than a couple of weeks or a month and you would have to find a woman who is willing to have children…And you would have to be willing to maybe stop dating so many women…”

“I only have two girlfriends right now.” Michael said.

“Wow.” Jim said flatly. “My point exactly.”

“When I was young I used to say that I wanted dozens and dozens of kids…” Michael said wistfully. “I thought it would make me happy…” he paused and stared out the window for a brief moment. “Are you happy, Jim?”

“Very.” Jim said. “Though I would be even happier under a few added circumstances.”

“Which are?” Michael asked curiously – no doubt hoping for the secret to a happy family life.

“For you to allow me to enjoy the time I have for a paternity leave.” Jim said. “And maybe I won’t be bothered with any work stuff for the next few months.”

Michael grinned and nodded, “Whatever you say, Jimbo. But really, honestly, there needs to be some sort of repercussion for your absence at the meetings you were supposed to attend in Australia. I really shouldn’t just let it slide like this.”

“Okay, Michael,” Jim said, “let’s do a little role-play here.”

“Ooh!” Michael exclaimed happily, clapping his hands together twice, “I love role-play games!”

“Not quite what I meant…” Jim said.

“Oh.” Michael said glumly.

“Let us just pretend here that…” he thought his words over carefully. “Let us say that you are married and your wife just had a baby.”

“Is my wife Pam?” he asked eagerly. Jim shook his head and forcefully rubbed his palms against his eyes. How Michael ever became president of a multi-billion dollar company, he would never understand.

“Your wife is…whoever you want it to be.” Jim said.

“Sweet.” Michael said happily bobbing his head up and down.

“Now, why don’t we pretend that your wife is here in New York, she’s eight months pregnant and looks like she’s about to go into labor any day. In the meantime you…you are…oh…in Australia on business.” Jim explained. “You’re supposed to go to a bunch of meetings that could really, let’s face it, be done over a conference call in the city. Your boss just wanted you to travel over there for better business purposes.”

“I am the boss though, Jim.” Michael said. “Why would I send myself overseas when my wife is at home about to give birth?”

“Exactly.” Jim said.

“Exactly what?” Michael asked, shaking his head, “Jim, you are not making any sense!” Jim dropped his head and stared at the floor for a good fifteen seconds before he met Michael’s gaze again.

“Michael.” he said firmly. “Put yourself in my shoes.”

“Your feet are bigger than mine.” Michael joked.

“Michael!” Jim demanded.

“Okay, okay.” Michael said, shaking his head. “Okay, you…you make a good point.”

“I know… I know that you can take care of what I started in Sydney.” Jim said. “Some people may call me crazy for trusting you with this account, but I have faith in you. You can handle it. Please handle it.”

“But you’re the best man for the job, Jim.” Michael said.

“I can send you a few things that I still have,” Jim said, “from here. From my home. I am not going to come into the office to take care of this. You – and the rest of the company – promised me that when I returned home from Australia that I would have six months of paternity leave.”

“Yes, six months from this Friday.” Michael said seriously. “Technically, you’re not on your leave yet.”

“Today is Thursday.” Jim said. “What good is going to do for me to come in for five hours this afternoon?” Michael shrugged. “Please, please let me have the time that you and the company have allowed me. I’ll come back a day or two early at the end of these six months.”

“Okay.” Michael said nodding. “Okay, but you need to e-mail me everything that you were going to present in Australia by five this afternoon.”

“Deal.” Jim said.

Michael smiled, “Deal.” He grabbed Jim’s hand and shook it firmly. “Oh, and Jim…” He caught Michael’s gaze and for a fleeting moment dreaded that he was going to present some sort of elaborate ultimatum. Instead, he simply said, “Congratulations on the baby.”