Glasses clinked as a busboy near them cleared off a table. It was getting late. Most of the patrons had already left. Not that there had been many to begin with. After all, Scranton on a Thursday night wasn’t exactly New York.

They had finished dinner a while ago and now just sat sipping wine and talking about small things. Both of them brought up things that happened since the wedding. Well since the almost-wedding. The conversation remained light, as if the mention of anything serious would shatter the sudden happiness they both found themselves in.

“Yeah you should have seen the look on Jan’s face when Josh told her he was quitting,” Jim said, smiling. “It was like she swallowed a rat or something.”

“You mean how she used to look at Michael…well…before she decided to go crazy and have those upgrades put in and move in with him,” Pam replied, smiling back. She paused then, as if deciding what to say next. “It’s funny though, I may not have ever seen you again had Josh kept the job and it was the Scranton branch which was absorbed.”

Jim studied her face a moment. “I actually thought about that when the whole merger thing started to go down. I mean we had a receptionist already. I remember thinking that I would never really see you again.”

Pam began to say something but Jim slightly shook his head. “No, Pam, I need to say some things. Actually I need to say a lot of things. I guess this is going to be my beach day as it were. You deserve that ok?”

She held his eyes with hers for what seemed forever, gears spinning in her head. Finally she simply replied, “ok.”

“As it turned out, I didn’t have much time to think about it because Josh played his ‘I’m a bastard’ card.” He shook his head. “Anyway, the next thing I know Stamford is the branch being downsized and I had to make a choice like right then and there.”

Jim cleared his throat and was quiet a minute, searching for the right words to say. “Even being away from here for as long as I was, I just couldn’t come back.” He hesitated. He didn’t know if he should tell her what he was really thinking right then. They hadn’t really talked for so long and now he was gun-shy. He honestly didn’t know what she would think. It was a sad feeling to have. He released a heavy sigh, threw caution to the wind, and said, “I was still in love with you Pam. You had broken my heart and I tried to get past it all.” His throat was closing up but he pushed on. “The first thing I thought when Josh quit was I needed to find a new job. There was no way I could be in the same office with you and see you everyday. Where I would see you and have to constantly battle the happiness and the hurt that you brought out in me.”

Jim faltered as he noticed Pam’s face start to pale. He knew tears were imminent and that wasn’t what he was trying to do to her. But he had to get this out. It was slowly killing him and she needed to hear it all. “At the end of the day though I decided to come back to Scranton. I thought I could handle it. I was not just some paper pusher anymore. I actually had real responsibility. But the real reason I took Jan up on her offer was that despite the pain I knew it would bring, I could not live with the idea of never seeing you again. I just couldn’t.”

Pam sat across from him, her eyes shining and mouth slightly open. He looked down and noticed that she had reached over and grabbed his hands with hers. For some strange reason, that gave him the courage to press on. Jim’s eyes lit with intensity. “I should have called you the second I knew about your wedding. I should have done a lot of things. I shouldn’t have however put you through what I did. And Karen too for that matter. I used her Pam. I know I won’t be able to make it right with her, no matter how many times I say I’m sorry. I will have to just accept that.” He let go of her hands and sat back in his chair, shoulders slumped. He found that he couldn’t meet her gaze so he stared at the half-eaten piece of chicken on his plate.

“You’re a dope.” Her words caused him to snap his head up and stare at her in confusion. He was not expecting that. “I am not going to sit here and let you take the blame for my mistakes.” Her voice grew with intensity. “You were my best friend Jim. I knew for a long time that Roy was not right for me. I knew you were it. I knew it. Yet when you told me you loved me, I denied it. I shut it down and pretended that it wasn’t really real. Then when you took me in your arms and kissed me, I rebuked it. When I called off the wedding, you were the only person I didn’t tell.” A few tears have escaped her eyes, but she didn’t care. “You are allowed to take the blame for Karen. Fine. But don’t you dare turn things around and act like you’re the bad guy in all this. Don’t.” The last part came out of her mouth in a shaky whisper.

Jim watched Pam’s breath rise and fall in her chest. Her hands were clutching the tablecloth. Her eyes, damp with moisture, gleamed at him, filled with fire and courage. The night at the beach once again filled his thoughts. She had grown so much over the past year. It was at that very moment the last shred of doubt and confusion melted away. He took her hands in his this time, smiled softly, and said, “ok.”

Pam slowly smiled back. The embers in her eyes cooled and was replaced with something unreadable. “I want some chocolate. Think the dessert here is decent?”

***

The night was quiet around them as they walked down the street. It was late, and Scranton was not known to be a city that stayed up past eight on weeknights. They walked slowly beside each other, not saying much. Images of the dinner and the day itself ran independently through both of them. At some point their hands became intertwined as they meandered across the concrete beneath their feet.
Jim was sure this was a dream. He was going to open his eyes in the morning and find himself in New York, Karen asleep beside him. Maybe he was Bill Murray and this was February. A slight squeeze on his hand made him think that maybe this was real. Maybe.

Pam tried not to look at him as they enjoyed the night air after dinner. She knew that she had a goofy grin on her face and that Jim might think of her as mentally ill. Well, maybe not but she still felt self-conscious. Today had turned her world upside-down. Even as she appeared to study the art in a nearby storefront her eyes were gazing inward. Gazing at him. How he had finally smiled at her for the first time in what seemed forever. How he flashed her that cute half-grin of his when he found something she said funny. How he broke her heart all over again when he struggled with what he did to Karen. Despite being virtual strangers for months, she could see right through him. The guy who made her weak with just a kiss and made her strong with just a smile was back. She squeezed his hand, unable to help herself.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” Jim’s voice brought Pam out of her thoughts.

“Yes,” she answered as seriously as she could.

Jim’s face reddened a bit and he stammered, “Ahh, ok. That’s cool. Maybe we could-“

She couldn’t keep it in for one second more. A laugh escaped her throat. Jim looked at her with his eyebrows high on his forehead. “I wasn’t done. Yes, I am busy. I was planning on asking out this guy from work. He is bit of a dork though.”

Her smile was so genuine it reminded him of playing poker with her at the casino that night. “I think you are pulling my leg Beesly. I bet he's young and handsome with a razor-sharp with and great sense of humor,” he replied, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Pam kept smiling but her voice did not contain any trace of humor. “He is all of those things and more. I just hope he says yes.”

Jim stopped and time stopped with him. An emotion suddenly surged through his heart he hadn’t truly felt since the day he confessed all to her. His hands shook slightly as they gently framed her face. She looked up at him in serious wonderment. Her eyes were bright and full as he lowered his lips to meet hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her hands in his short brown hair. The kiss was long, serious, and soft. Finally, hesitantly, they pulled apart. They knew, really knew, they were indeed made for one another.

“Jim,” she whispered, searching his face while holding his hands in hers.

“I know,” he replied, his voice low.

They just stood there for a while, not wanting to let go of any of it. Finally they agreed they should head back as they both had to work in the morning. The conversation once again turned to light fanciful subjects as they made their way back to Jim’s car.

“Amazing Beesly. You actually made a coffin AND sang a song for a dead bird. I think the student has finally become the master,” he said as he helped her into his car.

“Thanks, but you shouldn’t give up that title yet Jim. The gaydar prank on Dwight was…lets see how should I say this…awesome!” she giggled, thinking back to one of the few bright spots at work when Jim was at Stamford.

Jim buckled in and slightly bowed. “High praise indeed Pam. I accept your kind words.” He glanced at her, and once again wished the night wasn’t ending already. “By the way, and don’t look at me because I didn’t say a word, but I saw the camera crew taking off as we got back to the car. They probably have been trailing us all night.”

Pam snickered. “Actually you did say something Jim.”

“What are you talking about? When exactly did I say something to them?” he asked, confused.

“Gee, I don’t know. Maybe when you barged in on my interview today and asked me out,” she replied, a smug look firmly set on her face.

Jim slapped the palms of his hands on the steering wheel and chuckled. She laughed with him as he started the car.

Her hand shot to the volume on his car stereo and turned up the song that was playing. He looked at her, a question in his eyes. “You like this song?”

She nodded at him, slightly bobbing to the music. “Yeah I love it. I don’t know the name of it though.”

“The Bleeding Heart Show. It’s one of my favorites,” he told her, smiling.
“Cool,” she murmured, mirroring his smile.

The song’s chorus resonated throughout the car as they pulled out and drove away into the night. Heads swaying in the glow of the instrument panel, they sat apart but never felt closer.