Sleeping Arrangements

June 3, 2006

The harsh buzzer of his alarm clock was the last thing that Jim wanted to hear at 8:00 on a Saturday morning. His hand reached out and switched it off. "I’m buying a clock radio for my new place and this thing is going in the garbage," he decided, wondering if it was really necessary to get up this early. It had seemed like a good idea last night to set the alarm, knowing how difficult it was to get going on a Saturday. And he and Pam did have a lot to do today. But, there were so many more enjoyable things to be doing on a Saturday morning. He rolled over and put his arm around Pam, who stirred slightly in her sleep, but didn’t wake up. Just the sight of her sleeping face on his pillow, in the very room where most of his fantasies had taken place over the years was almost too much to process, this early in the morning and on this little sleep.

He had gotten into Scranton last night at about 8 PM. Pam had been waiting for him here at his old house. She had found the key under the fake rock where he had so cleverly hidden it, since his roommate Mark was away for the weekend. When Jim walked in the door after his long drive and found Pam there waiting for him, he felt as though he were coming home at last from a long road trip.

Unfortunately, Jim’s old house wasn’t going to be his home much longer. He had just signed a one-year lease on a one-bedroom apartment in Stamford, and he was pretty much moving this weekend. He had rented a U-haul and his friend, Dan had agreed to help with the heavy lifting. But Dan wasn’t due until tomorrow. Today was packing.

But last night had just been fun. He and Pam had gone to Chili’s for old time’s sake. Since Pam was banned for life, they had considered providing Pam with fake glasses and a mustache, but finally decided just to challenge the ban, and walk in boldly. Anti-climactically, nobody confronted them, or even seemed to notice or care that the notorious "Second Drink Beesly" was in the house. Over their Awesome Blossoms and margaritas they caught up on office gossip. Laughing, they dissected all of the current office romances, from the mysterious (Kelly and Ryan) to the bizarre (Angela and Dwight) and tried to figure out exactly where Michael had gone wrong with Jan and right with Carol, the realtor.

Finally, after an hour or so of gazing into each other’s eyes, and playing footsie under the table, they really needed to not be in public anymore, so they went back to Jim’s house and went right to bed.

Jim smiled, remembering last night. God...making love to Pam was just the best. She knew when to laugh, and when to be serious, when to be playful and when to be intense. They just meshed perfectly that way. And it had felt so good to be back in his own room, in his own bed, after weeks of hotels. Even though the bed was kind of small and the mattress was old, he still had slept well.

Jim stretched and contemplated getting up. Pam was still out, no point in waking her. And he was starving. Quietly, Jim got up and pulled on his jeans, and went downstairs to scout out the breakfast situation. Mark was away, camping in the Poconos with his girlfriend, and hadn’t left much behind in the way of food. Left to his own devices, Mark was the kind of guy who would have a refrigerator full of nothing but beer and condiments, which was pretty much the present situation. Jim had at least done some rudimentary cooking when he had lived here. Last night would have been a good time to have stocked the refrigerator, but he really hadn’t been thinking about practicalities like that, in his hurry to get Pam into bed. Jim looked around. Nothing. Not even coffee or a tea bag. He would have to make a breakfast run.

Jim tiptoed back into the bedroom and got his shirt and shoes. In the bathroom he brushed his teeth but didn’t bother shaving. He left Pam a note on the kitchen counter. "Dear Pam, Just went out to get us some breakfast. Be back soon. Love and kisses, Jim" and went out as quietly as he could. It was chilly and rainy out, so he grabbed an ugly gray hooded sweatshirt from the hall closet. It was actually Mark’s, but he wasn’t there to object.

Jim decided that he was too hungry to deal with going to the supermarket, buying food, coming home and cooking it. So, Dunkin Donuts it was. Besides Pam loved donuts, but hardly ever ate them, since they weren’t exactly the healthiest food, so let her have a little guilty pleasure this morning. He pulled into the parking lot of the little storefront Dunkin’ Donuts, and went inside. Oh wonderful, apparently the entire population of Scranton, Pennsylvania had also decided on donuts for breakfast this morning. There was a line, and Jim got to the end of it, trying to read the overhead menu and decide what combo to buy, and wondering if Pam would prefer tea or coffee this morning.

"Jim?" a cool voice from behind him, took him by surprise; it was a voice he hadn’t heard in five months. He turned around.

"Katie." According to the Murphy’s law of running into exes, she was looking very pretty, while he, of course, looked like the Unibomber. "Uh, hi." He and Katie hadn’t exactly parted under the best of terms, a fact about which he still felt guilty. Feeling extremely awkward, he ventured, "How are you?"

"Fine. I heard you moved."

"Uh, yeah. I’m in the process, actually. I got a promotion and transfer to Stamford. Connecticut. What are you doing? Still selling purses?"

"No. I’m working in Meg’s boutique now. It’s here in this shopping center."

"Oh. Good. I guess. Is that better?"

"Well, it’s a lot more steady."

"Good."

"Yeah."

The line was moving glacially. Jim cleared his throat, "Uh, Katie? I’m glad I ran into you, actually. I owe you an apology."

"Oh?"

"Maybe we could get off this line, and I’ll buy you a cup of coffee, next door."

She looked skeptical, but said, "Okay."

They left Dunkin Donuts and went two doors down to the Sunshine Luncheonette where they sat down at a small booth. He ordered coffee for himself and Katie. "Listen, I really have to get back, but just order what you want for breakfast. It’s on me."

Katie snorted, "Boy, you really do have a guilty conscience." When the waitress came by, she ordered a number 3 special, "so what’s this about an apology?"

"I’m sorry, Katie. I just treated you really badly that night on the booze cruise, and I’m not usually like that, and it’s been bothering me."

She shrugged, "I survived."

"Of course. I mean, I didn’t mean to imply that I, uh, broke your heart or anything like that…"

"Well, you didn’t." she snapped, her eyes suspiciously bright.

"Good. I was just going through a bad time right then, and I behaved pretty selfishly. And I’m really sorry. That’s all I really wanted to say."

"Well, thank you. I guess."

Katie’s breakfast still hadn’t arrived. Jim shifted nervously, wanting to get the hell out of there.

"Uh, so what else is happening?"

"You’ve been out of town, right?"

"Yeah. For a few weeks."

"Did you hear that Pam dumped Roy?"

Oh perfect. "Yeah. Yeah, I heard. Though I’m not sure that dumped is…"

Katie snorted, "Can you imagine? Three weeks before the wedding! It was totally embarrassing. Roy can hardly show his face around town. Oh, and she kicked him out of his own apartment, too. He’s back living with his parents! I mean, I know you two worked together, but really, what a bitch!"

"Katie?" Jim said coldly, "I’m seeing Pam, now. I guess whoever’s been giving you your information missed that little piece of trivia."

"What? You and Pam? Oh….I see. Well, that explains a lot."

"Look, Katie. I am really sorry. About everything. It was a bad situation, all around. And people got hurt. I know. I’m not happy about that. But I’ve really got to go now. Here...this is for your breakfast, when it comes." He put a five-dollar bill on the counter.

Katie shoved it back at him, "Keep it! I can pay for my own breakfast, thank you very much!" She turned to look out the window so that her back was to him, and Jim put the bill down for his coffee and went out into the pouring rain, back to Dunkin Donuts, where the line was even longer than before. Well, that went really well, he thought bitterly to himself.

Pam opened her eyes and rolled over. No Jim. She stretched her cramped arms and legs, able to move freely for the first time all night. This bed was awful! First of all, it was only a double, and secondly, the mattress sagged in the middle, dumping her and Jim into a kind of trough in the middle of the bed. That had been fun for about twenty minutes, but then it got really old, really fast. She and Roy had shared a queen-sized bed, and even so, Pam had gotten used to occupying only one third of it, since Roy was a big guy. Jim was big too, but in a different way, all arms and legs. It was like sleeping with a giraffe. An amorous giraffe. Pam smiled ..well at least that part of it was great...it was only the actual sleeping that was hell. Pam knew from experience that it took practice to learn to sleep with another person. At least the hotel in New York had had a decent sized bed. Tonight they had better go to her place. Jim didn’t want to go there...the apartment she had shared with Roy…but tough. A girl needed her beauty sleep. So, suck it, Halpert!

The worst part was that Jim had slept like a baby all night, looking happy and peaceful, all the while she was tossing and turning and contemplating murder. It had started to rain during the night and the room had become chilly and unbearably humid, since Jim hadn’t installed his window air conditioner, and they had opened both windows last night to try and catch a little breeze. She had finally fallen asleep what seemed like minutes ago. She looked blearily at the clock. 8:15. Where was Jim? Pam was starving. She hoped that Jim was downstairs making breakfast. She listened for noises in the kitchen, but heard nothing. A very quiet breakfast, apparently.

Pam got up and dug through her overnight bag, for fresh underwear, shorts and a tee shirt. The bathroom was empty, but she saw signs of recent male habitation. She studied her birth control pill dispenser. According to this, she should be getting her period…a week from today. Okay. She took her pill. At least that was one thing she didn’t have to worry about.

Once dressed, Pam went downstairs to find the kitchen. The place looked like Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard. Not so much as a cookie or a tea bag. What did Jim’s roommate live on, anyway? She knew that Jim liked to cook, a little, at least. He had once made her a grilled cheese sandwich. Which would taste really good right now, she thought. On the counter, she found Jim’s note, so at least there was hope of breakfast in the future. In the refrigerator, Pam found a lone can of Coke in amongst the beer. Yay…caffeine and sugar, two of the major breakfast food groups. Pam took the can of Coke into the living room, and for the lack of anything better to do, she turned on the TV.

It wasn’t until an hour later that Jim finally came back, looking like a drowned rat, and carrying a damp bag from Dunkin Donuts. "You’re up! God...it’s awful out there, " he said as he put the bag on the coffee table, and took off the drenched hoodie, and draped it over a chair to dry. His jeans were damp and he kicked off his muddy sneakers.

"I’ve been up for an hour. Where have you been? Did you go to the Dunkin Donuts in Stamford?"

Jim chuckled, uncomfortably "No. The one down on Belmont, but there was a line. I got you tea, and some donuts. I also got a couple of sodas for later." He took the bottles of Pepsi out of the bag and brought them into the kitchen. Pam opened the box of donuts and bit into one. Chocolate with sprinkles. Her favorite. She drank some tea, and felt a little better.

"What are you watching?" Jim came back and sat down with his coffee.

"The ‘set it and forget it’ rotisserie. It looks great, but I wonder…can you cook a foot in it? They don’t say."

"Listen, Pam…"

"Jim…" Pam burst out, "tonight we have to stay at my place, okay?"

"Why?"

"Your bed is terrible. It was like sleeping in a ditch. How long have you had that thing?"

"It’s my old bed from home. So…junior high? High school? I forget. I did order a brand new bed for my apartment in Stamford. Queen sized. It’s being delivered Monday."

"That’s not going to do us much good tonight."

"I know. But I really don’t want to go to your place. It just makes me…uncomfortable."

"Why? Because of Roy? Well, heaven forbid, you should be uncomfortable. What about me? I mean, I didn’t say anything about all the girls who probably shared that monstrosity upstairs with you."

"What? All what girls? First of all, Pam, I don’t bring girls here, and second of all, exactly what kind of a...a Todd Packer do you think I am? In the last few years, there’s only been…"

"I don’t want to know." Pam interrupted.

"Like hell, you don’t."

He was right, Pam thought, bitterly. She did want to know. She had done a lot of speculating, over the past three years about Jim’s love life outside the office. But he didn’t talk about it. Mostly, she had talked about Roy, and he had listened. So she had no idea, except about Katie, and that only because it had happened right under her nose. Still, a good looking guy like Jim...it was a bit hard to believe that he had been a monk, as much as she would have liked to believe that.

"Well. It’s really none of my business."

Jim shook his head, " No. That’s not true. Nowadays you do need to know this stuff. In fact," he said, his voice hurt," if you really thought that I’d been sleeping around, maybe you should have been a little more careful. I mean, the pill is great, but it’s not exactly protection."

Oh wonderful, thought Pam. What the hell is the matter with me this morning? " No. I didn’t think that. Honestly. I don’t know why I even said it. I’m sorry. The only girl I know about is Katie."

"Okay. Well, in the interests of full disclosure…I was seeing a girl named Donna when you first started at Dunder Mifflin. For almost a year. We were even talking about moving in together. But it didn’t work out."

"What happened?"

Jim shrugged, "I met you."

"Oh."

"And then there was Katie. Oh…and I had exactly one date with Brenda Watkins, from corporate. But believe me...that went nowhere fast."

"Brenda? That blonde woman from the Booze Cruise?"

"Yeah."

"Why her?"

"Temporary insanity? It turned out that she was five years older than I was, which didn’t really matter, but she also had no personality. "

Pam chuckled which turned into a yawn, "Was that the date you were going on the day that all the kids came to work?"

"Oh no. That was some blind date my sister fixed me up with...I forgot about that one. Sorry. Not a big success. But Janice meant well."

"Well, I appreciate you telling me all of that, even if I prefer not to think about it. So what’s the agenda for today? Tote that barge, lift that bale?"

"Uh, Pam? "

"Do you want this last jelly donut?"

"Take it. Uh, Pam? Speaking of Katie…"

"Huh? Were we?" Not Katie. Pam did not want to talk about Katie. Katie had stung. And knowing that it was silly and illogical to feel that way, hadn’t made it sting any less.

"I ran into her this morning. At Dunkin Donuts. On line. Remember I told you there was a line? She works in that shopping center now. At some boutique. No more purses."

"You ran into Katie? Oh." Okay Pam, she lectured herself. Just play it cool. This is ancient history, here. Five whole months ago.

"Yeah. It was weird. Awkward. You know."

"Not really. Because you used to go out?"

"Well, yeah. And we broke up, uh after the booze cruise."

"I know. You told me. You said it was a mutual thing." Which, Pam suspected, was not quite the truth. And she also suspected that the breakup had taken place on the cruise, itself, since at one point she had seen Katie sitting alone, looking miserable, while Jim was nowhere to be seen.

"Yeah." Jim got up and started gathering the garbage from the table. "Well, I may have exaggerated the part about it being mutual."

"I wondered about that. She seemed really into you on the ship that night. Even asked my advice on how to get you to propose."

"What? You’re kidding." Jim sank down onto the sofa, "Oh…man. I am such a jerk No wonder she…well, at least I tried to apologize."

Pam was having trouble picturing this scene. "On line at Dunkin Donuts? That must have been fascinating for everybody."

"No...at the luncheonette. I bought her breakfast, or rather I would have bought her breakfast if she…"

"What? You had breakfast with Katie?" Against her better judgement, Pam felt her voice starting to rise, " How did standing in line at Dunkin Donuts getting breakfast for me, turn into breakfast at a luncheonette with your ex-girlfriend?"

"Pam. It was no big deal. I wanted to talk to her...some place a little more private than on line at a donut shop. I felt bad about dumping her the way that I did, and just wanted to apologize. That’s all. I didn’t eat breakfast with her."

Stop it, Pam, her inner voice hectored, do not be angry. You have no right. Just cool it. "No. It’s fine. I understand." Pam got up and grabbed the donut bag and brought it into the kitchen and stuffed it into the trash. She came back out, a brittle smile on her face, "So where are those boxes?"

"Boxes?"

"Boxes. For packing. You know...what we are supposed to be doing today. Those boxes."

Jim shook his head, and said quietly, "Pam. Don’t do this."

"Don’t do what?"

"What you’re doing. Acting like you’re not angry, when you really are."

"I’m not angry. You have the right to have breakfast with anybody that you want to."

"I didn’t have breakfast with her. I just now had breakfast with you."

"Well then, there’s no problem. C’mon. If we don’t get started, we are never going to get finished."

Jim sighed, and trudged out to the u-haul to get the boxes he had brought from the Stamford warehouse. It had stopped raining, but the skies were leaden, and it looked like it could pour again any minute. He felt like crawling into one of the boxes and just sealing it up and disappearing. He hated the sick feeling he got in the pit of his stomach on the rare occasions when Pam was angry with him.

When he got the boxes into the living room, Pam wasn’t there. She was probably already upstairs. Jim carried the boxes upstairs with some difficulty, as they were very awkward.

Pam was in the bedroom, energetically stripping the bed, throwing the sheets on the floor with the blankets and pillows, "You had better wash these before you pack them," she said coolly.

Jim put the boxes down, "I’m not going to pack them. They won’t fit on a Queen sized bed. And I want all new stuff. These are really old. Maybe you can help me shop. I’m not much of a decorator."

"If you’re going to throw them out, we need some big garbage bags. What about the pillows?"

"Pam, stop this."

"Stop what?"

"If you’re going to be mad at me, be mad at me. Don’t pretend that everything is hunky dory. I’d rather have you yell at me, than just give me the cold shoulder."

"I have no reason to be mad at you. You talked to an old girl friend. It’s not a crime."

"Pam, I’ve known you for three years. Do you think I can’t tell when you’re mad? "

"Jim, I’m not mad at you. Honestly. I’m mad at myself….for being mad at you, okay? I know it’s silly, but Katie just...gets my back up. Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"I hated it when you were dating her. I hated it when she called the office, or showed up for lunch, or when I thought about the two of you together."

Jim had to laugh, "Poor baby. I can’t imagine what you must have been going through."

"Why do you say it like that?" Pam sat down suddenly on the bed, "Oh."

Jim sat down next to her, and put his arm around her shoulder. "Three years, Pam. Three years of you and Roy. Why do you think I went out with Katie in the first place? Roy acted like a jerk about Katie that day, do you remember? And he really hurt your feelings and you left. And I thought, maybe, just maybe, you were going to realize that he wasn’t the guy for you. But, the next thing I knew he was sweet talking you out of being mad, and the two of you are making up right behind me, like I was a piece of furniture or something. So I got up and went into the conference room and asked Katie out. And I knew it was wrong to ask her out under false pretenses like that. But I really hoped that she could help me get over you." Jim shook his head, "But I was never honest with her. I never told her that I was in love with somebody else, and that she was never going to be able to compete in a million years."

"Oh, Jim." Pam took Jim’s free hand in both of hers and played with it while he spoke.

"Then, that night on the booze cruise, when Roy set the date for your wedding, and you were so happy and excited, I couldn’t take it any more. Katie and I were never going to have what you and Roy had…seemed to have. So I broke it off with her. Right there and then. No explanation, no discussion."

"That doesn’t sound like you."

"It wasn’t my proudest moment. I never even spoke to her again until this morning. But I’ve felt bad about it. That’s why, when I ran into her by chance, I thought I should say something before I moved away, and probably never saw her again." Jim thought a moment, and suddenly flopped back on the bed, "Oh crap!"

"What is it?" Pam leaned down over Jim’s worried face.

"Have you spoken to Roy, lately?"

Pam thought. "Well, I saw him briefly Thursday after work. We passed each other in the parking lot. He didn’t say much, just grunted. He’s stopped glaring at me, though. Which is a good thing. Why?"

"Does he know about us?"

"I haven’t told him, though I guess I should. I’m not looking forward to it. I mean, he’s finally stopped glaring at me."

"I think he knows now."

"How?"

"Katie. I told her, and I think she’s been talking to him. I don’t know how, or if they’re going out or what. But she knew all the details of your breakup, only they sounded a lot like she got them from Roy."

"Huh."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Roy and Katie? Weird. Of course, they do have a lot in common, with that whole football player, cheerleader thing. I don’t know. " Pam felt her eyes well up with tears, "It certainly didn’t take him long to get over me."

"Pam, sweetheart. I don’t even know if it’s true. It’s just a guess on my part. And if he gets over you in anything less than a lifetime, then he’s just a jerk, who didn’t know what he had in the first place." Jim put his arms around her and stroked her hair.

"I guess I am really no person to talk. Still, Roy was such a major part of my life for so long. It still feels weird that he’s not around."

"And I’m not exactly around either. Though I really wish I could be. I love you, Pam."

"I love you too." Pam smiled mischievously, and whacked Jim on the butt." Hey, lazy! You call this packing? C’mon get up!"

"Okay, slave driver. Back to work." Jim and Pam untangled themselves and got up. They looked around the room and then at each other and sighed. Jim asked, "Is it lunch time yet?"

"You know Jim, I’ve got this weird stuff in my kitchen. I think it’s called food. If we get this job done, I’ll cook you dinner, okay? You really ought to know if I can cook before you make any sort of commitment, here."

"You’re right. Can you bake a cherry pie?"

"No, but I do make good brownies."

"I know. I have sampled said brownies. Okay, you take the desk and I’ll tackle these bookshelves."

They got to work.