It had been nearly seven months with her. Ever since he finally let himself think and realized that she was the one he wanted, it had all fallen into place. Racing back to town, finding her beautifully sitting in the sun-lit room, asking her for another chance, and eventually, opening his car door for her at the end of the day. For some reason, it didn’t happen like he had ever imagined; it just happened. It was the perfect solution to the perfect disaster.

Now, they were covered by an ocean of blankets with the skin of their arms touching. This was how almost every night was spent. Most of the time it wasn’t about stealing covers at all; it was about sharing skin.

She loved the way he kissed her. It didn’t always have to be a romantic or passionate kiss to get her eyes to flutter shut and her stomach feel like it was going 90 miles an hour over a hill. Everything he did made her feel like she was somehow floating. Then once she came falling from the heights, he was there to catch her.

She did the same thing to him. He couldn’t resist her when her hands seemed to find the spot on the back of his neck or below his jaw. If her finger brushed across it or her lips happened to find their way there, he was gone. That’s all that has to happen for him to melt into a pool at her feet. Even the way she said his name made him feel weak.

On this night in particular, they were resting side by side, ready to fall asleep with each other’s warmth soothing them. Her hand found his under the covers and their eyes slowly closed. He didn’t even know what happened from that moment on. They shared a few words and then all the sudden, she was up and out of the room; covering her sniffles. He sat upright, looking at the dimly lit hallway, waiting for her figure to return to him.

The moment replayed over and over in his head. He remembered mumbling replies in her direction and hoping that they made sense. His mind reeled as his eyes sought for her in the darkness of her house.

He could’ve chased after her, made her explain what had upset her, but he didn’t. He sat in the confines of her empty, cold bedroom. His heart was pounding and yet, it was still at the same time. It was as if his moment of peace had slipped into a continuum and he was hurtling through space. He was waiting for his home to return to him this time. All he wanted was her next to him again. He could make it better, as long as she was by him so his arms could pull her close and comfort.

“Pam?” he whispered, as if there were other people sleeping in the house. He knew she didn’t hear him. It was more of a reminder to him that it wasn’t a dream. He had done something to upset her. It rarely happened, that’s why he was stunned when she took off towards the bedroom door. It’s not that he didn’t care or wasn’t paying attention to her, it was the fact that every night with her had become natural and comfortable. He didn’t need to think when he was with her.

What will this fix?
You know you're not a quick forgiver
And I won't sleep through this
I survive on the breath you are finished with

The warmth from the bed was fading and so did his desire to sleep. He bounced his leg on the mattress and kept his eyes on the trail of light from the hallway so he could watch for any movement. Every now and then he thought he could hear her move in the bathroom down the hallway. It felt like a thousand miles of distance between them when it was only twenty feet. He called out to her again, hoping she would reply this time.

You can be mad in the morning
Or the afternoon instead
But don't leave me now
Please, the separation from ya baby
Come back to bed

His heart had begun to ache and worry. His vision failed him as the light from hall went out and her footsteps pounded in his ears. Her sniffles echoed off the beige walls of her home and reverberated quietly into her small bedroom where Jim was leaning against the headboard. Her silhouette moved slowly and cautiously towards the dreary room where Jim’s exhales had become frozen in the air.

She stopped at the entrance. Even though the dark kept him from seeing her face, he knew her eyes were locked with his. He pictured her face to be flushed and worried, but once she moved into the room, the moon light hit her face and he could see her features were serene. Her hair was messed and ratted but she was beautiful. His eyes never left hers. Even though she was apparently on her way back to bed, he yearned for her to crawl right back to his side.

She paused again as the light reflecting off the moon shined behind her. He looked up at her towering over him. Her sobs had been detained and her body wasn’t rigid. She seemed fine and more than willing to answer his prayers to get under the covers again. She reached down, the light highlighting her arms and shoulders, and pulled her blankets up. He let out a sigh of relief as she found her place and leaned next to him on the headboard.

He didn’t ask anything. She took a deep breath and quietly spoke.

“You didn’t say anything wrong…”

He turned his head towards her as she stared off towards the mirror across the room.

“I just realized something….” she continued.

He spoke softly, as to not scare her away again. “What’s that?”

She turned her head towards him and whispered for only him to hear. “I just realized…that…I’m not going anywhere. I can’t picture my life any other way….than with you.”

He nodded, not wanting to speak and ruin the moment. Her warmth was filling the space again and her scent was too. He fell in love every time her saw her or felt her near. It was like he forgot when she wasn’t around but once she would return, he couldn’t resist falling head over heels every time.

She continued. “So, I’m not going to be the one to end this relationship. It’s all on your shoulders now…” she said, scaring him a little. It hurt to remember what his life, and the last few minutes, were like without her.

There was no way he was every going to even think of giving her up. It took all he had to get her, so if he ever lost her, he would be gone too. He nodded at her words, in shock, and reached for her hand again. She squeezed it tightly as he took it.

It wasn’t the magical three words that made Pam’s mind make her decision. It was his routine of expressing his promise to her. He always said it every night before they turned out the lights or happened to fall asleep. It was a promise that made her ready for the next day ahead of her.

“See you in the morning…” he would always mumble before drifting off into a dream.

So, she came back to bed for the rest of her days knowing that her spot would always be warmed by him and he would be the first person she would see in the mornings when she woke up.

Going to bed wasn’t about goodbyes or goodnights, it was about good mornings and a familiar, loving face.

Come back to bed.