"Mom, I think I have enough Ramen Noodles to last me forever," Jon sighed, tossing another pack of dried noodles into his snack pack box under his bed.

"Wait...Jim, did you bring him an extra blanket?" Pam asked, rummaging though the pile of folded clothes on Jon's dorm room bed.

Jim was nursing a soda after lugging box after box up to his son's new room. He almost spit it out. "Did I- Pam, he's coming home for break around when, Thanksgiving? He doesn't need extra blankets."

"What if his legs get cold? He has long legs like you and this building is drafty..."

"Mom," Jon sighed tossing a glance at Ben, who sat in the corner, his arms folded, watching his parents coddle Jon like he was a newborn baby. Plus, he hadn't seen one hot freshman girl yet. "Cut the cord, it's okay."

Pam ignored him, "Well just wear long pants. Make sure you get up for every class. Is your alarm set? Jim, did you give him a roll of quarters for the laundry?"

"Everyone knows freshmen boys don't do laundry, Pam. Come on."

She glowered at her husband's indifference to their first born son being on his own for the first time. Pam turned to the boy and gave a sad smile. "Make sure you eat. Don't do drugs. Don't stay up until three in the morning playing video games..."

"Geez mom, wonder how you would act if Jon was drafted!" Ben said exasperately. "Talk about not cutting the cord, I still see some placenta left over."

Everyone laughed except Pam.

"That's not funny! The Draft is not a joke!" she yelped. "Neither are the horrid placenta and cord references. How'd I raise two vulgar children?"

"Correction," Jon smirked. "Two strapping, smart, edgy, vulgar children!"

Pam frowned at him but her face softened quickly. Tears brimmed her eyes again. She was going to miss him. They had spent all day Friday moving Jon into his room at Penn State. It was a well oiled machine as the boys systematically brought up all of Jon's carefully packed boxes, courtesy of his mother. She then spent her time refolding and putting his clothes away, while his father put up his drafting desk, since Jon's major was Engineering. Ben...was doing what he did best. Nothing.

"Dad, she's crying again," Jon warned.

"Pam..."

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" she said, fanned her face.

Suddenly, the door was forcefully kicked open and Dwight walked in carrying a small box. The Halperts watched as DJ walked in behind him, carrying a huge army duffle bag and frowning. Angela followed with a picnic basket and Kurt walked in too, empty handed.

No one spoke as they watched Dwight pour out the contents of his box. A hunting knife. Pepper Spray. Nunchucks and a pair of brass knuckles. A poncho. A vial of what looks like urine.And... a glow stick miners use to see in the dark.

Jim walked over, cautiously but smiling. "Hey Dwight."

"Not now, I'm about to give these boys a survival lesson."

"What are they trying to survive Dwight?" Jim asked and Angela scowled at his ignorance."This dorm has a great security system and the boys are pretty strong guys."

"This is college, Jim. Anything could happen. Five out of sixty bear attacks happen on a college campus."

"Is that right? Where'd you get that information?"

"Your ignorance on this subject doesn't astound me," Dwight snorted. He picked up the vial of yellow liquid. " See this? Imagine walking alone at night from the library where you were studying-"

"Bear attacks?"

"Of course. And then suddenly someone tries to jump you, from behind-"

"Thats what she said!" Kurt replied and everyone laughed.

Dwight was not amused as he glared at the boy who snapped his mouth shut. "Imagine some college punk walks up to you promising to sell you weed, but you refuse, because drugs are bad, and then he pulls out a pair of nunchucks..."

"Ah, yes. That happens all the time," Jim replied, picking up the nunchucks before Dwight yanked them out of his hand.

"Yes it does, Jim. These boys will need to be prepared. A quick spritz of this to the perp's eyes and they will be dazed enough for a counter attack."

"Question. Is that urine?"

"It's a special recipe, that contains urine."

Everyone groaned in disgust. "Gross..."

Pam scooted over to Angela. "Hey...did you bring extra blankets for DJ?"

Later that day, as they prepared to finally leave the new freshman to their new college experience, Pam clung to her eldest son.

"You have enough money for books?"

"Yeah, Dad gave me his credit card."

Dwight snorted from DJ's side of the room. "Identity theft, Jim, that's what how it happens. Never entrust an 18 year old with your credit card information. Um...hello...ever watch Animal House? I got the boy's books before I came here. Half of them he didn't even need so we skipped those."

Jim and Pam stared blankly at Dwight before Pam focused back on her son. "Okay, get all of your books, and um...any supplies you might need. And extra blanket maybe..."

"Pam, seriously, with the blankets" Jim muttered.

"Um...don't smoke anything. At all. Call us if you need something. Wear your coat when its cold. And if you're going to drink underage, do it responsibly," she continued.

"What your mom means is don't drink, you're not twenty-one. Don't become a pothead. And don't ruin your clothes to get a new wardrobe. And don't waste our money by not getting good grades," Jim said smiling, pulling Pam away so he could give Jon a fatherly manhug. "You'll do fine. Oh and do not use Dwight's nunchucks."

"Thanks Dad. Mom, I'll be okay," Jon reassured them both, grinning as his dad ruffled his hair.

"Ben, come say bye to your brother," Pam called over to Ben, who was lingering in the hallway, looking for chicks.

Ben waved impatiently from the door. He was not one for sentimental goodbyes. Especially since he knew Jon would be home soon anyway, torturing him, annoying him. Being good ole Jon. "See ya at Thanksgiving."

Pam shook her head at his carelessness. She was being way too dramatic about this goodbye. "Ben! Seriously. We won't see him for weeks."

Ben smirked and walked over to Jon, noting Jon's 6' 1" height compared to his own 5'10". He punched Jon in the shoulder, not too hard but hard enough to show brotherly affection. "I'm moving into your room, jerkface."

"I'll kill you first, buttwipe."

"Aw, look Pam. They really do love each other," Jim replied, making a Jim face.

Ben frowned and walked back over to the door as his mother gave Jon another overbearing hug. He hoped when he went to college, his parents wouldn't act as if he was moving to Japan or something.

Angela gave DJ an endearing hug while Dwight went in for a handshake but relented and ended up bear hugging his son. DJ seemed shocked but he patted his father's back to comfort him. Kurt and DJ did some weird dance as a goodbye and when Jon joined in, Jim knew it was time to leave.

The two families said their goodbyes to Jon and DJ and walked quietly back to the cars. Pam cried a bit as they pulled away and Jim did his best to reassure her Jon was growing up and it was okay. Ben didn't get it. They were acting as if Jon was going away to somewhere when he was only a few hours away. It wasn't that big of a deal at all, to Ben. However, with Jon gone, Ben now had the whole house and his parents to himself. Not that Jon hindered that, but it was nice not to share sometimes. He expected to go home and just chill out and enjoy the solitude. Besides, Jon would be having a blast in college, so it wasn't like he was missing out on anything at home.

The family ate dinner quietly, Jon's chair was empty. Pam stared at it and sighed, barely eating her burger. Ben watched his dad watch her, his eyes trying to convey to her that they had to let Jon grow up and it was okay. She didn't seem to care though. She wasn't ready for them to grow up just yet. Jim reached over and patted her knee.

A few days later, as Ben was coming home from school, he walked in on a fight.

"What's wrong with what I said?!"

"You can't be serious!"

"Why not? I'm serious Jim. I thought about it and...I-"

"No, you didn't! Not rationally! You do not want another baby, Pam. That's ridiculous! I mean, we're almost 50!"

"People have babies well into their 50's! It's not that far fetched!"

"I get you miss Jon, but having another baby is like on a mid life crisis type wave, Pam. We just...can't!"

"Ugh!" She threw up her hands and stormed upstairs past Ben. Jim came out of the kitchen behind her, noticing Ben standind confused by the stairs. He ran a hand over his face and gave a sad smile.

"Your mom's just...she's having a hard time with you guys growing up."

Ben shifted uncomfortably. He never really saw his parents argue before. "So...are you going to have another...baby?"

Jim gave a bitter laugh. "Not in this lifetime, kiddo. She's just...ranting. She'll get better, I promise."

The next morning, a lazy Saturday, Ben rolled over, staring right into a pair of wild hazel eyes. He blinked for a minute, his mind slowing processing, before he leaped back in his bed, trying to firgure out where the eyes came from.

She giggled, and pointed at him. A pre-teen girl with brown hair and big eyes, wearing an old and faded Dunder Mifflin Fun Run shirt and shorts. Ben blinked again, wondering was he dreaming some weird thing involving paper. He would have to blame his parents for this, surely their attachment to Dunder Mifflin was filtering into their children's dreams. But blinking didn't make the girl disappear, in fact she still there and they were immersed in some weird staring contest.

He glared back at her, pulling his covers over his boxers. "Who are you and what are you doing in my room?"

The little girl swayed back and forth in a whimsical way, biting at her bottom lip. "Boy, you sure wake up and ask alot of questions."

"Well...that's what happens when strange little girls are in my room. Now who are you?"

"Alot of little girls come in your room?" She asked, her face scrunched in disgust. "How old are you?"

"No, that's not...Get...get out!" He yelped, clutching his covers to him.

"Miss Pam said I hafta come and wake you up," the girl said dismissively, walking over to Ben's desk and playing with some items on it.

This was not a way to wake up on Saturday, Ben thought. He was definitely planning on vegging severely for most of the day, maybe rolling over a few times, but nothing drastic like...leaving his room. Of course, this strange girl and his parents had other plans.

The girl dropped something on the desk in a loud clank and Ben frowned. "Hey! Don't touch that! Would you like it if I came in your room and broke one of your dolls?"

"I'm eleven, I don't play with dolls," she replied back, walking towards him again. She sat on the edge of the bed and picked up a basketball. "Your dad's so tall. My dad says they are best friends. That he is the reason your parents had you. You should thank him, you know. My dad, I mean."

Ben shook his head. Against his better judgement, he asked, "Wait, who's your dad? Michael?"

"Michael Gary Scott. He had an emergency. My mom went to rehab...again, and Daddy had improv, so...here I am! Isn't that cool?! Lindsay Lohan goes to rehab all the time. Maybe my mom will meet Lindsay and get me an autograph!"

Okay, well that explains the weirdness. He remembered Jessica, Jan and Michael's adoptive daughter. She was a bit hyper, way too nosey for her own good...and annoying, as evident by her refusal to leave his room. The question was why was she in his room, on a Saturday morning? Ben rubbed his face with his hands. "Well Jessica, sorry to disappoint you, but your mom isn't in rehab in California. But anything can happen in rehab, I guess. Can you run downstairs and tell my mom I'm up?"

She shook her head. "Your mom told me not to trust you. That you would just lock me out and go back to sleep."

Ben crossed his arms, "I'm not moving until you leave, I need to put on my pajama pants."

The little girl shrugged. "I've seen men in boxers before. My dad found a pair in the laundry one time. They weren't his. Mom said she found them off the street and decided to wash them. Do boys really just throw their boxers in the street like that?"

"Um...no. I don't...no," Ben replied confused. "I just really think I want to put some pants on."

"That's what she said," Jessica replied, smiling.

"Wow, you're way too young for those type of jokes!"

"Dad says it all the time. Your mom's downstairs painting. And your dad, wow. He's like a mutant, with how tall he is. Seriously-"

"You said that already."

"But he's nice because he made me pancakes. I betcha you wish you had a little sister!"

Ben shook his head. "No. No I don't wish that."

"I always wanted a big brother, or a dog. Maybe even a goldfish."

He rolled his eyes. This was going to be a LONG day.

"Where's the other one? Ya know...the cute one?"

Ben scowled. "I am the cute one."

Jessica shrugged. "You're not my type. But really, where'd he go?"

"You sure ask alot of questions," Ben sat back, his head knocking against his headboard. "He's in college."

"Do you miss him?"

"Not in particular," Ben lied. In fact, he did miss Jon.

"Okay...well, see ya downstairs," she replied, leaving his room finally.

Ben walked downstairs a few minutes later, to see Jim sitting at the breakfast bar and Jessica in the living room watching The Cheetah Girls. He shuffled past his dad, and muttered a good morning.

"Afternoon," Jim corrected, smiling.

"Hey...um...what's with the little girl? Especially the part about her scaring the bejeebus out of me this morning."

Jim looked over to Jessica and shrugged. "Your mom paid her five dollars to scare you. Best five dollars she ever spent, I say. Michael had to go improv. Or rather, I told him to go to improv and we'll keep Jessica for him. As an experiment, ya know. Your mom thought it would be a good idea to...have a girl for a day."

Ben reached in the fridge to get some juice. "You set this up to derail the baby thing, didn't you?"

"And it's working like a charm," Jim replied, smiling brightly. "She's already broken a vase, messed up one of your Mom's wet paintings, and insulted her like only Jan can."

Ben pumped up a fist. "Score."

"In fact, I think your mom is so irritated with kids, she wants to give you up for adoption."

"Let's not get crazy," Ben replied, drinking his juice.

Jim nodded and looked at his son. "Hey...um...want to go play hoops? Just you know...me and you? Catch up on some stuff."

Ben tilted his head and smiled. "Sure, that'd be fun."

Jessica gave a squeal and started prancing around when a Cheetah Girls song came on. She flailed her arms in the air and sang along with an equally annoying high pitch as Jim and Ben watched in horror. Pam walked in and stood her eyes widened.

"Dear god, does she ever get tired?"

Jim's eyes were wide, as he whispered to his son, "Please...hurry and get dressed Ben. Before she drives me insane."