Jon didn't know how to execute this. He wasn't skillfully sneaky like most teenagers. In fact, there were only a few instances where he fibbed to his parents. And most of the time, they had used their ridiculous spidey senses to call bullshit.

Honestly, he wasn't trying to make a habit of being dishonest; his parents were pretty cool and understanding people, guilt would set in even when he only thought about lying. But it had to be done, just like in some of those cheesy 80's movies he watches with his dad, when the teen is left alone, or abandoned, or gets into crazy hijinx.

The thing is, Kurt had heard of this party at McKenzie Lamaker's house this weekend. Supposibly her mother was in Costa Rica, in rehab or something, but anyway, McKenzie was left in the care of her irresponsible college aged cousin. So of course, in true high school fashion, she was throwing a huge party on Saturday. A must go.

Jon didn't even really care, seeing as how the social scene wasn't his thing, but a hot soccer player named Becca was going to be there, and she had asked him if he'd show up. So now he practically had to go, because she was hot for one, and for two, she was really really hot. Plus, DJ and Kurt were very anxious to come along, as they rarely got invited to these things. That tends to happen when you grow up on a strict Christian beet farm.

So Saturday morning he woke up with a start, surprised to be up so early. His mind was restless from being up most of the night thinking of lies and excuses. He felt dirty, like a liar. He was a liar. But Jon knew he had to do this, because he had alot of plans for the weekend. One got to the party. Two...get Becca to notice him. Three...make out with Becca. Throwing on his plaid PJ bottoms, he made his way down to the kitchen, spying his mom and Ben sitting at the kitchen table talking, and his dad leaning casually against the kitchen counter, pouring a glass of OJ.

"Morning."

They all looked up at once, and his mother flashed her warm smile, which made his task of lying, or no, lying by omission, even harder.

"Come eat breakfast before we head out," she replied, pointing to the stack of waffles currently being devoured by Ben.

Jon slid into a chair at the kitchen table, and eyed both of his parents, wondering if they even had an inkling of what he was thinking of doing. Could they smell lies? Could they sense their teenager was having horny thoughts about a girl and would do something reprehensible with their trusts in order to get to second base with her? His mom was joking with Ben about his eating habits and his dad was looking at the calendar on the fridge. They had no idea of the diabolical mind they had created.

His parents were going away for the weekend, some romantic thing his dad thought up. Just overnight, but still...away. Leaving him in charge of himself and Ben.

"So, you guys are going to be okay right? All alone for the weekend?" Jim asked, smiling as he walked over to the table.

Jon nodded. "I think we'll be okay. Ben might eat everything in the fridge by this afternoon but we won't starve and die if so."

Ben frowned and shoved another piece of waffle in his mouth.

His mom ruffled his hair. "Even so, let's go over some ground rules. No parties. No girls. No bikers. No tattoos. No piercing. Your curfew, still stands."

"Wash your own dishes and put them away. No virgin sacrifices, or...I dunno...no starting a cult while we're gone. We will be checking in," Jim replied, smiling at Jon who rolled his eyes.

"DJ and Kurt are allowed to come over but they must go home when they are supposed to. Angela said she would drag them home by their ears if need be and all of you will be trouble."

"And most of all...I repeat, no parties. Or strippers. Or running any kind of illegal gambling in the house or out of the garage," Jim finished.

Ben gulped down his glass of OJ. "You sure do know how to deflate someone's hopes and dreams."

Jim shrugged as he stood to deposit his glass in the sink. "That's what I'm here for."

Pam stood up as she walked her own dishes to the sink. "The number to the bed and breakfast is on the fridge. Grandma Halpert will be calling to check on you, make sure you haven't burned down anything. New rule, don't burn down anything."

"Any plans this weekend?" Jim asked as he picked up their luggage.

And now, it starts, Jon thought. He put on a straight face. "Just studying. For me. Studying. Staying in the house. To study."

"You're kidding, right?" his mom asked, inquisitively.

His dad smirked, raising an eyebrow. "Ah. Studying. Seriously?"

"Dad, I'm graduating this year and I mean, I got to make this one count. Ya know?"

"You're running a fever, aren't you? We should cancel," Pam replied, looking at Jim.

"What? No! I mean, unless I'm allowed to go out and have fun and be with friends. I am seventeen."

Jim shook his head. "Not this weekend, buddy. You stay here with your brother and eat pizza."

"So yeah, like I said, I'll be studying and wasting my youth away here," Jon muttered, even though he knew what he would be doing. And it wouldn't be in this house.

His dad didn't seem convinced, but it didn't matter, they were leaving. They gave the boys hugs and reminded them they had $50 on the counter to order pizza and food in the fridge. It was just one night but they were making a big deal out of it.

Jon watched their SUV pull out of the garage and he waved through blinds the living room window, before turning to see Ben eyeing him suspiciously.

"Studying? That is all you could come up with? Why not knitting? Or scrapbooking? But studying? So lame."

"Shutup," Jon growled.

"Can I go to the party?" Ben asked as he sprawled across the couch.

Jon shook his head. "No. You're a sophmore."

"Uh, so?"

"So no, this is for upperclassmen. You can't go. I don't want my little brother tagging along. I'm not friggin' babysitting you."

Ben scowled and gave him the finger, causing Jon to snort. "God, no one even cares. It's just a stupid party with easy girls anyway. And you're lucky I have a Doom X-Box live tournament happening anyway."

"Riveting," Jon teased.

"Whatever. You don't even go to parties. I don't get it. Supposibly you're 'over it' or whatever. And no one will know I'm a sophomore. I've got to go! I really need to bang McKenzie once before I die. Or at least touch her boob or get a flash of it or something."

"None of those things will ever happen for you. Because you...will be upstairs. With your X-Box."

"I hate you," Ben hissed.

"I know. You gonna be okay here by yourself? Of course you will. With your X-Box and all. Don't do anything stupid. You know the rules."

Ben folded his arms across his chest in a defiant move. "Are you seriously lecturing me on following the rules?"

Later that night, Kurt and DJ were piled in the back of his car, way too anxious about going to the party.

"You think Becca's going to be there?"

Jon shrugged. "She asked me if I was. I mean, we're not staying long are we? Just long enough to make an appearance, maybe even...I don't know, make out with a few girls."

"I think she's coming," Kurt replied. "She was totally draping herself all over you in math class."

Jon shook his head, blushing. "Not, draping persay..."

"She was seriously doing some hardcore draping,"DJ said. "I wonder what her hair smells like."

"What?" Jon asked, confused.

"Lemonade," Kurt answered DJ's weird question. "I think it smells like lemonade."

"How...how do you know it smells like lemonade?" Jon wondered, still very confused.

DJ clapped wildly. "We're going to get so many girls. I have like a whole pocket full of pieces of paper and a pen..."

He reached in his pocket to show Jon, but when he pulled his hand out it was covered with black ink. "Aw crap, it busted!"

"Why don't you just log it in your cell phone if you get a number?"

Kurt frowned, lifting the cell phone in Jon's face. "These phones are pre-paid. No way am I using my daytime minutes on some silly fling."

"Okay then. And you wonder why you can't get a girlfriend..." Jon sighed, turning in front of the house.

There was alot of cars out in front and loud music and people from school. And some that looked way too old to be there. "I told Ben he better not leave the house tonight, let's hope he listens. He was too busy playing Doom when I left."

"Doom is awesome," DJ replied.

"I've had a girlfriend. I told you last summer..." Kurt argued, going back to the previous conversation.

"The girl who was your cousin?" Jon said, frowning.

DJ shook his head. "Second cousins don't count, Jon."

The boys piled out and walked towards the house. As soon as they opened the door, a jello shot was shoved in Jon's face.

He looked at it and shook his head, but the hand attached to it was Becca. She was smiling devilishly. "Come on, Jon. Drink with me."

Shit.

Jon took the jello shot and downed it in one gulp, tasting bitterness and something that stung his throat. He wasn't a drinker, except for a couple of lite beers he drank around fifteen with DJ and Kurt when they snuck away from a cookout. This didn't taste good at all. Before he could recover, another was handed to him, while Becca sucked on a lemon, totally distracting him.

"O.M.G.! Jonathan Halpert!" He heard Stacey Kapoor-Bernard screech as she rushed over to him. She eyed Becca evilly before flashing a huge smile at Jon. "I'm so glad you are here Jon! We still need to discuss the prom!"

Jon looked shocked, from Stacey to Becca and back to Stacey. "I uh...we never talked about prom, Stacey."

"Not yet, but we're totally going. We have to! Our parents work together and we're close to the same age and you're like in my top five guys I would totally let go to second base."

Becca cleared her throat and Jon grabbed Becca's jello shot and gulped it down, choking out "Oh god."

Stacey got distracted by two of her friends, and rushed towards them, leaving Jon and Becca standing there awkwardly.

"That was weird," Becca said quietly. She got another two beers from a table nearby and smiled to Jon, making him feel warm inside. Or, maybe that was the alcohol.

Before he knew it, he had taken like, four jello shots and had a beer  securely in his hand.  DJ and Kurt had wandered off, and were in the other room guzzling something, and talking to two girls Jon was pretty sure didn't go to their school, or any school for that matter. They were looking at the girls' tattoos with too much interest. Jon started to feel light headed, and the room was spinning as Becca pulled him towards the covered deck. Her shirt was low, way too low, but he wasn't a complainer.

She began to grind up against him and he was so drunk he couldn't even enjoy it. He wobbled back and forth with her, feeling overheated like the room suddenly became a sauna. And for the record, she didn't smell like lemons, she smelled like smoke, and when she leaned in and whispered something about upstairs and having condoms in his ear, he noted her breath smelled even worse. But that thought was fleeting as he stumbled away from her, the intense need to hurl coming forward. He moved quickly through the crowd and over towards the bushes in the yard, where he did hurl.

Jon leaned back against the outside brick wall of the house, and breathed, hoping there was no more vomit left. He turned towards the house but felt whoozy and instead slumped down on some old patio furniture. He didn't move for awhile, Becca and getting anywhere with her was totally forgotten.

It was only when he heard someone else hurling nearby did he look up to see DJ leaned over, with Kurt patting his back. They must have come outside to hurl too.

"I'm going...to die," he mumbled. Kurt nodded, as if to agree.

"I promise not to let them harvest your organs for profit."

"What?!" DJ yelped, pushing Kurt away and falling to the ground. Kurt also seemed drunk as he wobbled over to his brother. Jon crawled off the patio furniture and over to them.

"Jon!! Who's that with you?" DJ said squinting.

Jon shook his head. "You're seeing double. How much did you have to drink?"

"This spinning patio is awesome! I want one of these!" Kurt replied.

Suddenly, the sound of sirens and of cars pulling up to the house could be heard. Kids started to scramble and run, the sound of car doors and yelling all over. Jon swallowed hard, his throat dry and numb, as he tried to stand up. "Oh god. We have to leave."

"But what about Becca?" DJ asked, struggling to stand.

"I hope her parents have bail money. Bro's before ho's, DJ!" Kurt snapped, as the boys rushed around the back way to find the car.

Jon reached in his pocket, looking for the keys, but nothing was there. He began to panic, and turned his pockets inside out. "Shit! The keys are back there! I must have dropped them somewhere!"

"The police are back there too!!" DJ yelped.

"We have to go. I'm pretty sure Father will show up, it's police scanner night!" Kurt warned.

The trio ran down the street away from the house until they couldn't breathe anymore.

"Now what?"

"We die. We die alone, in this strange place," Kurt sighed.

DJ grimaced. "What is wrong with you?!"

Jon tried to concentrate on thinking, but his head was spinning nad he felt lightheaded. "I can call Ben. He can drive my mom's car and come and get us," Jon replied, pulling out the cell phone.

"Ben's fifteen! He doesn't have a license does he?"

"Shhhhh...Ben? Ben... hey look...no no, forget about the party...listen...Ben, I'm wasted, I can't get to my car because the police are at McKenzie's place...we're like a street over, Newman Street, if you can come...just drive really slow...you can do it, stop saying...you are not going to die in a car crash...that is an overreaction...just come on!"

He snapped the phone shut and the sat over on the side of the street and waited.

After twenty minutes, Jon was worried. Kurt rubbed his hands on his knees. "What if he did die in a car crash? And he could see into the future and you ignored it?"

"Shutup," Jon replied, standing and walking to the street to see if he could see the headlights of his mom's car.

"God, I have to throw up again," DJ frowned, leaning over and throwing up.

Headlights blinded Jon and he looked to see Ben pulling up. He skidded to a stop and the brakes screeched. Jon winced. He rolled down his window. "You look horrible."

"Whatever. Can you...drive Kurt and DJ home?"

Ben shook his head violently. He hated trying to drive. Dad promised they would practice more in the evening but he didn't have the time. "Why can't they stay at our house? It's closer and I really shouldn't be driving. I'm not the best driver-"

"They have to go home or their dad would hunt them down and make a big deal out of it."

DJ and Kurt nodded as they climbed into the backseat and Ben drove away, as slow as possible. The ride was not easy as Ben really was telling the truth. A skilled driver he was not. He swerved and over corrected a few times, causing Jon's stomach to do flips and the twins to topple over each other. They tried to not draw attention to themselves, but DJ's stomach wasn't helping out the situation, causing Ben to have to pull over as so DJ could hurl on the side of the road.

Finally they made it to the farm, and Ben turned down the dark road. They drove slowly down the dirt path towards the house.

"We're almost there," Ben replied looking back at DJ, who was pale from car sickness.

"Dude, watch the road!"

Suddenly a flash came across the front of the car, Jon couldn't tell if it was human or not, but it did look like Mose. But Ben had swerved to avoid hitting whatever it was, and lost control of the car, speeding down the field and towards the barn.

The boys were screaming, holding on to something in the car, all except Ben who decided to take both of his hands off the wheel and scream instead.

The car slammed into the barn and into a bale of hay and then the airbags deployed, smacking a stunned Jon and Ben in the face.

They all sat there, coughing, shocked, scared, and confused. Suddenly the barn door was thrown open and Dwight Schrute came running in with a crossbow and a flashlight. Angela followed, screaming as she saw the boys climbing out of the car.

"What is the reason for this malfeasence?!" Dwight yelled.

DJ and Kurt groaned and crawled away from the car.

"Are you hurt? Bleeding? Internally or externally? Is there a light? Don't go to it!" Dwight rushed over to the boys, grabbing Kurts face and scanning his eyes.

"Dad, please, stop yelling!" Kurt cried out.

Dwight winced, smelling the alcohol on his breath. "Have you been drinking spirits?"

DJ's eyes filled with fear. "Uh...What?"

"Alcohol?! I can smell it on your breath boy! Vodka, no..." Dwight sniffed his son's open mouth again. "No...tequila. Have you been illegally consuming alcohol?"

Kurt looked down, showing shame. Dwight let go of him, standing up by his disapproving wife. He looked at Jon and Ben and then back to his own children.

"Who was driving?"

Ben looked over at Jon. And they both looked down. Ben raised his hand. "I was, Mr. Schrute, sir."

"How old are you? Twelve?"

"No sir. Fifteen," Ben replied biting his lip.

Dwight snorted. "Lackawanna County as well of the state of Pennsylvania requires you to be at least sixteen to acquire a license. What you did, boy, was illegal. And you should be punished. Angela, phone Jim and Pam. You boys are in for a world of hurt. This car could have easily exploded and you could have been trapped and knowing that this car is a cheap Japanese model, it would have burned you alive very quickly. Your parents would have had to have closed caskets."

Ben didn't know how to respond. He was too dazed from the accident. "Um...I'm sorry, sir."

Dwight swallowed and pointed his gun towards the house and hissed bitterly, "All of you, inside. NOW."

The boys scrambled to follow Angela towards the house, while Dwight observed the damage to his barn. Angela called their parents while Jon bit his nails nervously and watched her stern face stay the same the entire conversation. his parents did not request to speak to them. Dwight showed the boys to DJ and Kurt's room, which was weird that they shared a room in an eight bedroom house. But they settles on the floor and stared up at the pipes coming out of the ceiling, dreading the consequences of that night.

The next morning, Jon woke up, his head felt like lead and his throat burned. His mouth was dry also. He licked his lips and coughed, moaning as he held his head. Ben and the others followed soon, waking up. The twins were so hung over. They made their way downstairs, hearing adult voices. As they stood in the kitchen, Jon's eyes landed on his parents, sitting at the table, with serious looks on their faces. They looked up and saw the boys, and didn't smile.

The Halperts climbed in the SUV and drove in silence until they arrived home. Pam sighed as she opened the door and the boys walked in glumly.

Jim cleared his throat and pointed to the table. "Sit."

They both sat down quickly. Jim and Pam took a seat and looked at each other before Jim spoke. "Are you okay?"

Jon answered. "Yea, I think so. Scared, a bit... I have a headache. The airbag hurt and burned me a bit."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" Pam asked. "Let me see."

The boys let their parents inspect their arms to comfort their fears. "No, we're fine. Just spooked."

Jim nodded. "Okay. That...I'm really glad you're okay. But let me ask you, are you insane?"

The boys looked at each other. Here it comes. "No."

Jim tapped his finger against the wood of the table. "You crashed...your mom's car...into Dwight Schrute's barn. You...got drunk...with his twins. You have to be crazy."

"No dad, it wasn't-"

"Do you really think your excuses will work right now?" Jim said, deadpanned.

Jon shook his head as Pam started. "You went to a party without permission. The cops were called. Underaged drinking. And then to top it off, you had your fifteen year old brother pick you up because you went to a party you were not allowed to go to? I mean what the hell Jon?!"

"I'm sor-" Jon started but Jim pointed to Ben.

"And you listened?!"

Ben went to explain but his dad held up a hand.

"No, apologies are not good enough right now. I don't know what was going through your heads, but we thought we raised two responsible boys. You broke that trust. So now...you have to deal with the consequences. No X-Box, Ben. No activities, or hanging out with the twins, until further notice. No having fun. You go to school and come home. You only use the cell for emergencies. And to repay Mr. Schrute to fix his barn, you will work with him every weekend until it's like new. And there's still the issue with your mom's car being wrecked and covered in hay and manure."

The boys swallowed their protests. They deserved it.

Jim covered his mouth in frustration and looked away.  That had to be the first time Jon saw actual disappointment in his father's eyes. And that stung him more than anything.

Their mother gave them a sad smile. "Go upstairs and rest up. I'll get you something for your headache, Jon."

The boys stood slowly. Jon turned back around, his hands shoved in his pockets, his head hung in guilt. "I'm sorry...for everything."

Neither parent responded and Jon was sure it wasn't just the hangover that made him feel so bad.