~After~

Commencement

Moonlight streams through the window as her eyes flutter open.  She leans up on her elbow and watches him sleeping, the length of his eyelashes stirring a pang of jealousy.

As she runs a hand through his tousled hair only one thought enters her mind.

Could he be any more perfect?

She knows in reality he's not perfect at all.  He's a little too stubborn and sometimes he doesn't quite hold his tongue when he should.  He could be incredibly devious and his practical jokes sometimes border on cruel.  She knows he's not perfect.  Not really. 

But the way that he loves her absolutely is.

Her fingers itch to capture the way he looks forever.  She slips from the bed and reaches for the first thing she can find.  She slips into his discarded tee shirt and breathes in deeply as it slides over her head. 

It smells just like him.  Wearing it makes her feel like she's climbed right into his skin.

Pam tiptoes over to the desk hoping to find a pen and a piece of hotel stationary.  The drawer squeaks and rumbles in her attempt to open it.  She doesn't want to wake him, and is thankful when spies Jim's messenger bag on the floor near the chair and sinks down next to it, flipping it open and rummaging inside.

Jim turns and is surprised to find himself alone.  He wakes slowly, still in a kind of haze, not really fully understanding what had just happened.

She loves him - deep down he'd always known that but the way she had just shown him was something different.

He'd been completely overtaken and overwhelmed.  She wasn't at all aggressive, just deliberate and determined.  She had been unwavering in her mission and he had to say he enjoyed every moment of it.

Soon after he done his best to reciprocate until they ended up wrapped together and falling into a deep and sated sleep.

He sits up slowly and sees her, sitting on the floor next to the bag he always took with him to work. 

He thinks he hears her breath hitch as he watches her.

Slipping from the bed, sleepy eyed and now clad only in his boxers, he walks up behind her. 

She didn't stir at all as he pressed a hand to her back and knelt beside her.

"Hey."  He whispers against the side of her neck. 

She was crying.  He knew for sure now as he tasted the salt of her tears on her skin.

Her hand reaches up to rest against his cheek.  But she still doesn't speak.  She leans back and sinks against him a bit.

He's so warm.  She thinks as she rests against him.  She knows now that even in the dead of winter he is unbelievably warm.

He took her shoulders and made her face him.   "Pam?"

"Jim."  Her voice breaks a bit as she says his name. 

He runs his hands gently through her hair, pushing it off her tearstained cheeks.  "What's the matter?"

"You…"  She stares down at the sketchbook and pencils in her lap.  "When did you start carrying this stuff around?"  

"Oh."  He looks a little embarrassed.  "I just thought some time when I was with you - you might get the urge to draw and would need it."  He shrugged.

"I can't…I never even imagined…"  She gazes deeply into his eyes.

"What?" 

"No one has ever loved me the way that you do."  She whispers.  "How am I ever going to catch up to you?"

He didn't understand.  "What are you talking about?"

"I tried.  Tonight I wanted to show you that I've finally gotten it.  That I knew how lucky I was but then you have to go and do something else…amazing.  I don't think I'm ever going to be able to keep up with you."

What was she trying to say?  She was nuts was all he could think.

"It's not a contest Pam…"

His words didn't even register.  "I woke up and I just wanted to sketch you.  You looked so peaceful - the way you were sleeping so I figured you might have a pen or some paper in here but no…"  She shook her head.  "Of course not.  You'd go one step further.  You'd carry around a sketchbook just in case I needed it."

She shakes her head at him, her eyes bright.  "I don't…I'm not sure I deserve you at all."

He doesn't know exactly what to do or say.  This seemed like a huge conversation and they were both tired.  He tries to brush her off. 

"Pam.  C'mon.  It's not that big a deal."

"And the fact that you don't even think so is the most amazing thing of all."  She looks at him in awe.

He reaches down and pushes the book aside, pulling her close.  "You're crazy."

"Jim.  It's not funny."  She replies as she clings to him. "I bet you've already bought me a ring haven't you?"

His heart stopped beating for a moment.  He pulls back slowly and looks at her stunned.  He couldn't believe he'd been so transparent.

She could see the truth in an instant.  He didn’t need to answer her.  It was written all over his face.

"Pam.  Look.  I'm not trying to rush you at all."  He swallows and fights to explain himself.  "I'll wait.  I know that you…"

She cuts him off with a long, lingering kiss.  "Yes."  She breathes as she kisses him again.

"What!?"

"I've made too many mistakes.  I can't afford to make another one." She replies.  "I'm telling you now.  I'm saying yes."

He couldn't believe this was even happening.  What the hell as come over her?  "OK Pam.  I kind of had another whole thing in mind entirely for when I actually asked…"

"And I'm going to move to Stamford as soon as I can."  She looked so earnest he almost laughed.  "I know I've been dragging my feet but the truth is I'm so tired of having to sleep by myself…"

He opens his mouth and tries to find his voice.   "OK Pam…"

"Don't even say anything.  You can't stop me."  She cuts him off again, her voice commanding.

"OK.  OK."  He laughs as he pulled her close again.  He figures he can tell her later that it looks like he'll be transferred back to Scranton soon anyway.  "Listen. Trust me.  I wasn't about to try and stop you."

"God Jim."  She takes his face in her hands and kisses him soundly.  "I love you…"

"I know."  He replies, his voice muffled against her lips.  "I love you too."

He stands and pulls her with him, bringing her back towards the bed.  They sway in time with their kisses, so that they're really almost dancing by the time they get there.

"Now.  About the other thing…"  He whispers as she lies back against the pillows shifting to allow him to lie beside her.  "This ring thing…"

"Yeah."  She smiles up at him - her arms reaching up to pull him towards her.  "Even though you know my answer you're still not going to get off that easy."

"Demanding aren't you?"  He teases as he touches his lips to hers, briefly.  "What if I told you it came from a bubble gum machine?  Or a Cracker Jack box?"

She laughs at him then and he thinks - no he knows - that there's no better sound in the world. 

Her eyes are dancing as she replies.  "Honestly?  I wouldn't care.  I don't even need a ring."  She promises him, melting under his touch when his hand skims over the thin cotton of the shirt to caress her stomach.  "But whatever it looks like - if I take it does it mean I get to marry you?" 

Even though she says the words she hopes he knows she's kidding.  Well.  Half kidding.  She really would like a nice ring…

He holds his breath again.   He can't believe this is even happening.  He'd waited for so long to get to this point. 

"Yeah."  He nods.  "You do."

"OK then."  She smiles widely as his mouth covers hers once more.

Does this mean they're engaged?  Even so he figures he could still surprise her.  In a way it'll be even more fun now, knowing exactly how it'll all work out.

"Pam…"  He eases back and runs a hand over her hair.

"Yeah?"

His eyes hold hers as he asks.  "Do you really?"

"Yeah."  She replies, pulling him back to her again.  "I really…"

"Sometimes....there were times that I didn't think it would ever happen…"  He sighs against her neck as he settles on top of her.

She smiles, loving the feel of his weight on her.  "I know."  She moves under him and he lost his concentration for a moment.  "I thought for sure I'd screw it up."

He laughs again, even though it wasn't really all that funny.  "You're just lucky I'm a patient man."  He shifts so he can see her face.

She runs a hand over his cheek as she replies, her voice somber.  "I am.  Very lucky."

He can't stand the way she is beating herself up.  He only wants her to be happy. 

He leans up on his elbows and gazes down at her intently.  "Stop.  It's OK.  You don't need to do anything Pam.  I have everything I need.  Right here.  You have to know by now.  All I ever wanted was you."

"I know that."  She promises him.  "I know…"

His lips twist into a grin as he eases back down, his hands moving slowly, running over every inch of her. 

His mouth follows closely behind as he whispers against her skin.  "Let me just make sure of that."