Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry it took so long for an update. Here you go!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
"Next up we have Dwight K. Schrute, Assistant to the Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin. He owns a working beet farm, is a green belt in karate, is an assistant sempai, is a Jedi master..." At this the auctioneer looks puzzled, shakes his head slightly, and stops reading as he tosses the pa0per aside. "Anyway, can I have ten dollars for Mr. Schrute?"
Dwight glares at the auctioneer angrily. "Actually, you forgot..."
"Ten dollars. Who will give me ten dollars?"
There is silence for a few seconds until the mysterious woman near the front yells out "One hundred dollars!"
Everyone stares. Especially Dwight. Pam and Jim look at each other and mutter "Angela!" at the exact same time. Jim gets a look of recognition on his face and whispers, "Wait, do you know?"
Pam nods eagerly. "Wait, when did you...?"
"They were making out in the office once. I - " he shudders a bit at the memory, " - saw them. How long have you known?"
Pam looks away. "A while," she whispers, so low he can barely hear her.
He chuckles. "So what's a while?"
She takes a sip of her drink and swallows. "A couple of years..."
"What!? Why didn't you tell me?"
Meanwhile, no one else has bid and the auctioneer has declared the lovely lady in the disguise as the winner of Dwight. Dwight realizes who his high bidder is and makes an overly nonchalant show of departing the makeshift stage as he nods curtly to Angela, who is equally as inept at trying to slip away to the back of the warehouse without any eyes on her.
Pam tells Jim they'll talk about it later. He is a bit annoyed that she kept such a huge piece of information from him for so long. All that potential for messing with Dwight was squandered. But it is soon forgotten as Creed takes the stage next and everyone's jaws hang open in shock as the auctioneer reads his profile.
"Creed Bratton, quality assurance manager for Dunder Mifflin Scranton, successful entrepreneur, and former lead guitarist of the rock band the Grass Roots."
A small contingent of 60-something ladies at a table near the middle jump up and whistle and holler. Some of them are holding up signs that say things like "Creed Rocks My World." Jim turns to Pam and says, "Did you know about that, too?"
Pam sits there slack-jawed and shakes her head. "So, let me get this straight. Creed was a... rock star? Are they sure? He could have just made it up. Actually, he must have made it up." Jim nods, but the applause and enthusiasm from the grandmothers' table makes them both wonder. He mumbles, "Let's just check that out on the internet when we get home."
Creed ends up going for a whopping five hundred dollars, to Mrs. Doris Bainbridge, who insists her dead husband would approve because he was a huge fan.
~
Creed: "Yes, I still have a rather large fanbase. Mostly women. Some men, though most of them are dead by now. I don't like to talk about it much."
~
In the meantime, Dwight and Angela have slipped away into the parking lot, where they are deep in conversation behind someone's large SUV.
"I thought you didn't approve?" he asks her.
"I don't. But the thought of you going out with some bimbo..." She stops herself. "Well, it's for the Humane Society, isn't it? And they do good work with cats."
Dwight stares at her for a minute and says, "This means we have to go out on a real date now. Like, in public. Where someone might - " he looks around stealthily, " - see us."
Angela also looks around. "Well, it will have to be someplace dimly lit and not easily accessible by outsiders."
Dwight's mouth turns up at the corners into a creepy grin. "I know just the place," he says.
Michael walks back into the warehouse and sits down next to Jan, looking glum. "Hey," he says, "let's get out of here."
Jan rolls her eyes. "Michael, you're one of the hosts. You just can't leave. You made all your employees come."
Michael's expression brightens, and he seems to be having some sort of internal struggle before he blurts out in one breath, "That's what she said!" Jan puts her hand up to her eyes and shakes her head.
A few guys from other businesses in the building have been auctioned off, and now it's Jim's turn. He suddenly gets nervous when he sees that Meredith has been revived, and he makes one last plea to Pam before going up to the front. She simply smiles and says, "We'll see."
